It's saying that the river only has a rubber band, rather than the person crossing the river. The crocodiles, which we assume are normally present based on the apparent name of said river, are (for some reason) in a meeting, and thus not currently present. Therefore, as the punchline says, you can simply swim across, nothing to worry about (the river current isn't very strong I guess).
It's the opposite side of the coin of them taking credit for infrastructure improvements in their districts when they voted against that bill
If so then he would be wildly exaggerating the amount of motion necessary. More likely the handies he gives to Putin.
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