Dad Jokes

!dadjokes

@lemmy.world
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Please see the updated sidebar. Do not post external links to websites such as Facebook and Instagram.

Please post edgier jokes to the new Uncle Jokes community

Please post edgier jokes to the new Uncle Jokes community

I just updated the sidebar. As a rule of thumb, if you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old, you should probably post it to the new community !unclejokes@lemmy.world

What do you call a man with no shins?

What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony

Bonus - What do you call a religious man with no ankles? Shinto

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

Why do elephants paint their toenails red?

So they can hide in cherry trees.

Alright, why don't you ever see elephants hiding in cherry trees?

Because they're very good at it.

How do you cross crocodile river with only a rubber band?

How do you cross crocodile river with only a rubber band?

Just swim across--the crocodiles are still at the meeting.

My doctor said I can't go in the water for two weeks after my surgery.

My doctor said I can't go in the water for two weeks after my surgery.

I said that's ok, Doc, I prune up after just a few hours.

It is my sad duty to report that Nick Van Eede of the band Cutting Crew just died in your arms tonight.

It is my sad duty to report that Nick Van Eede of the band Cutting Crew just died in your arms tonight.

It must have been something you said.

Someone accused my dog of chasing them on a bike

Someone accused my dog of chasing them on a bike

My dog said, they're lying I don't even have a bike!

What do you call a hippie's wife?

What do you call a hippie's wife?

Mississippi.

What did the minivan name her baby?

What did the minivan name her baby?

Carson.