@ZenGrammy
@lemmy.worldI thought when I became a moderator here, the fact that any anxiety or depression I've faced in my life were due to either simply being young and overwhelmed with my life or having my health ripped away from me in a few short months at a young age, would be an impediment to my ability to help the posters here. It turns out that it comes up OFTEN. There are so many of us. I was 38 when it happened, but in a new relationship that was not all that stable yet. I thought I would never have a good day again, and it took a few months before my partner and I stopped acting like we were on opposite teams and started attacking problems together. I was not good at accepting help right away, and he was not good at being a caregiver right away either. These things take time to get used to.
You have to hold on to whatever small things bring you joy that you can still tolerate and try to find an emotional outlet that is not your partner, so they are not expected to carry every bit of a very heavy load right now. Therapy, good friends or close family, online support groups--anything that will allow you to offload some emotional baggage without judgment. Accept help f(meals, housework, whatever)rom your friends and family, too, if it's offered. Why say "no thanks" if you would be happy to go to that same friend's house and run the vacuum or bring over a meal when they are in need?
I don't know the specifics of your situation, but it's likely the only thing that will help at this point is time. Wounds will heal, medications will be ordered for your physical and emotional health, you will grieve the person you were and who you wanted to be in the future. You will forge a new path. It's still too early in the process to expect anything other than utter chaos right now. Anyone in your shoes would feel the same. Right now your only job is weather this and focus on your health.
For me it's been over 5 years and I'd say that physically I've recovered maybe 30% of my former functioning level, but emotionally I'm at 85%. It's hard work, and I look at it as my full-time job to take care of myself first and my house when I have the capacity. My relationship is in a much better, stronger place than it was back then. We are always on the same team now.
Hi there. Hope you're enjoying NSQ. Rule 1 in the sidebar states that every post must have a question in the title. It makes it easier for people to browse the community. Will you edit your post to follow the rue? Thanks for posting!
Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We have updated rule 4. Posts that mention suicide are now allowed with proper flags and warnings so people who may feel triggered can avoid them.
A suicide-focused community with dedicated professional mods would be so nice. We would be able to direct anyone who is in crisis there. Lemmy is still young and I'm not aware of a space like that to refer anyone to, though.
The mod team and I have been working hard at making this a space where everyone feels heard and supported. It's difficult to make sure we are allowing people to talk freely about whatever they need to talk about, but not ending up with a time-sensitive crisis that we as volunteers don't have the tools to manage properly. We will definitely rethink that rule and ways to re-word it. We are always open to talking about the rules and what needs to change to make people feel comfortable posting here.
I agree with what the other posters have said, especially about the fact that it seems you may be depressed, and also I see the same patterns I displayed when I was depressed and didn't want to deal with it. "I know I need to get help but first I'll take care of my spouse's problem, and also my son needs to get through his thing, and also a friend has seemed down so I should check on them. I'll look into therapy someday but right now I'm too busy." It made it impossible for me to deal with my own issues and also not my fault, but really that was kind of a lie I told myself in hindsight.
When I stopped putting it off and started journaling about what it is that makes me feel bad pre-therapy, I found that it was well past time I start taking care of myself. Once I did, I was so much stronger. Post-therapy and healthy methods of dealing with anxiety and depressive thoughts me is still able to be there for my friends and family but also able to be there for myself.
I really think the first step is sitting down with your thoughts about yourself and your life, making sense of what is going on, and coming up with a plan for how to move forward.
As an adult who has raised children and worked in doctors' offices, yes, this is a good idea. If there is any way for you to get help in your state without your parents knowing about it, your doctor will know the steps. If your parents usually stay in the exam room with you, ask the office to make sure you get alone time with the doctor during your visit. You don't have to tell them why. They will help you.
I'm so glad you tried it! Now you can take that skill with you on all your walks going forward.