Guess I'll die 😬
Spoiler: I'm out 500€ and don't feel any better by any stretch of the imagination. The therapist in question has since blocked me, after I asked her for a reference for a colleague and she refused to give me one, and I accused her of only being in it for the money.
It's also pretty sad that with everything we already have to suffer, people exploit our explicit weaknesses hand over fist and society rewards them for it.
I suppose the majority of us plebs simply exist for the pleasures of our owner class, and seeing us squirm in agony just trying to stay alive day by day is amusing to some, and a source of income/riches for others.
I wish I had the intelligence, balls and black heart of one of these people. Compassion and integrity get you nowhere, ever, except a fast track to poverty.
At this point I don't mind if climate disasters or war do me, or anyone else, in. The sooner the better. I'm too much of a coward to do it myself anyway.
I'm 40 years old, in a crappy job without prospects despite degrees, and I have 0 friends.
I used to have a grand total of 2 friends before Covid, but then we lost contact. I've tried to rekindle, but all effort was onesided so I stopped.
I'm a lifelong spineless people pleaser despite lots of therapy, and the ironic thing is that this turns people off of you instead of having them like you.
At this point I don't see any reasons to continue trying.
If I had one wish in life, it would be to be a stereotypical asshole with actual self esteem - those are the kinds of people who seem to be anle to reach all of their goals and have others worship the ground they walk on.
But as for me, I'm so turned off by other people in general that I would probably be morbidly amused to read, oh I dunno, that Moscow nuked Kiev (or vive versa), that Jerusalem is burning, or that my hometown was wiped away by a hurricane.
Not to be "edgy". It's emotionally debilitating, and to be clear I don't enjoy/wish for human suffering.
I've just become as indifferent to it as the world seems to be to me. Simple tit for tat.
I'm tired. Kinda hoped I wouldn't wake up from my anaesthesia today. Ah well.
I've been playing since about a month after release and have since reached lvl 81 (just to show I put in quite a lot of game time since I started). In my first month of play I came across ONE single griefer who TK'd people on purpose. Considering I'd played hundreds of games I thought this game was a shining example of a great community.
However.
The last three(ish) weeks or so, I feel like I'm playing a whole different game. About 1/3rd to a quarter of my games involve randoms with really toxic behaviour. Training mobs on you, throwing barrages on the group for fun, destroying our own sentries in defense missions...
But there's one thing that is apparently suddenly a "fad", I guess? That is kicking someone from the game right before extraction. Seriously, I've run several full 40 minute rounds, usually on decently high difficulties (7-8), with no real communication with any players whatsoever, let alone tk's or toxic shit, and then you suddenly get kicked as soon as the Pelican is on the ground.
WTF gives? I don't know if it's a reportable thing, I doubt it, but I sincerely hope it's just players getting somewhat bored while waiting for more content and that it'll pass, because if this is going to be my regular experience from here on out, I'm going to look for something else to play. Not the devs' fault in any way.
Even IF you somehow manage to navigate today's maze of failures, rejections and heartbreak, what is your reward? To live yet another day in misery? To wait until climate change, war or disease does away with us?
A reward would be to be able to rest. I don't mean death per sé, but it seems like that's the only real-life thing left available to people like us.
Yes, yes, I know very well that "if nothing has meaning, YOU get to choose the meaning". Except I don't. Maybe if I was rich or powerful. But I'm poor, in poor health and powerless.
I read Camus' Sisiphus, and I, for one, cannot possibly imagine him happy.
@Kyrgizion
@lemmy.world