@Seigest
@lemmy.caSorry for another "Is this autism or normal human behavior?" Post.
There's a long story as to why I am experiencing this again but it's not really any more relevant then the title of this post.
For older folk it's like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa, out of pity, give Ralf Wiggim a valentines day card and he immediately starts invisioning a future with her as his romantic parter.
I've identified I have this same trait and I hate it. Looking back I've totally made people who had been nothing but kind to me uncomfortable and shut me out because of this.
Now knowing that I am doing this is at least making me a little more in control and hopfully less weird. But now I need to stop and asses every interaction I have which is itself awkward.
I made a deal with my employers, they'd provide me time and funding and I'd pass some project management training to help with task related to that role.
I've been doing project managment for years already and it's a subject I am confident in. The course was easy for me since I found one geared towards my learning style.
But I got too confident and suggested I could pass the certification exam. I havnt had an exam since high-school and I did pretty badly at those.
The problem is that the questions are mostly scenerio based and I am taking things too literally, focusing on the wrong detials, or considering things from the wrong perspectives. It's driving me crazy because I know what I am doing and I have a lot of pressure to succeed, but this poorly written exam could prevent me from achieving it.
Does anyone else have this issue or know any preparation resources I could use to help me intrupet these things better?
Not sure if its just me. But the subscribed view is just showing me feeds from a bunch if stuff I am not subscribed too. I am still able to see my subscriptions in the sidebar, it's just the feed view.
solved: comment from user Otter mentioned lemmy.ca had updated. Logging out and back in solves this issue.
I've been having a dought. It's a small nagging one but it's there.
I've been working a lot with my therapist on self hate issues, but I can acknowledge them.
I realized I can never really be in any kind of physical relationship with somone because of this. I'm repulsed by myself and perhaps my asexuality is just a result of that.
I wonder if I am so repulsed by myself that the idea of me being with anyone is rejected because of the "me" part and not how I feel towards others. Where some may think "I want to kiss that person" I can't bare the thought if subjecting somone to me in that way. And therefore the thought is gross.
Does anyone else deal with this? Any advice?
Anyway, here's the story
It's taken over 2 years and it's been a weird process overall.
I am in Canada, assessment is free here with a doctors referral.
I've been a courseware developer for over a decade now. Part of the job has been to take documents made by instructional designers and make them into courses in various learning systems. Now I only do this as a side gig as the jobs been nearly automated out of existence.
One day I was building up a course on Nerodiversity and it kind of clicked for me. I didn't actually know much about autism. Growing up it was frequently juxtaposed with down syndrome. So I didn't learn about it until my 30's
But I checked a lot of the boxes and decided I should get it checked out.
Doctor said to try CAMH. So I had to call them and explain. They initially told me it wasn't worth doing and that as long as i am employed then there is no reason for it.
I insisted. I guess you got to really want it to get it. Got told I'd be on a waiting list for 6 months. This is unless I was willing to have it done by a private organization for over $5k. I chose the free option.
6 months later got a call. They wanted to get documents such as all childhood medical documents as well as all my high-school transcripts. I let them know I wasn't able to get any of that.
6 months later they call against asking for all that and that I give contact info for a parent or guardian. I give them my moms info.
About a year later I get called again. I had pretty much assumed it wasn't going to happen so I was a little shocked. But they just wanted all the documentation again. This time they actually called me back to book an assessment. They only asked I bring a few seemingly random items from a list.
I ended up having to go to my mom's house in a differnt city. It was a remote meeting but my mom didn't know how to do one of those. I borrowed my roomates laptop since I only use a big tower.
I got up at 4am to get to my mom's place that day. She had 2 new kittens running around. We figured the dining room was the best place to set up the laptop for this.
First half hour he wanted to ask my mom questions. While she answered I could listen but wasn't allowed to talk. Her two kittens where playing with somthing under the table.
My turn. He asked me a lot of the same questions to confirm my mom's answers.
About 2 hours in the laptop says it's about to die on me despite being plugging in. Turns out the kittens ate the cord. So I asked for a short break.
Being prepared for everything. I had actually brought a spare Webcam. I had to install it on my mom's old pc and install all the right drivers and software in the 15min break.
When the meeting resumes I am a mess, sweaty, exhausted and very tired.
The second part of the assement was even more questions but more subjective then the first half. He also read a child's picture book with me. He had me describe the I images. It was somthing about flying frogs.
The last part was to take some of the random items I'd been told to bring and make a story with them. I had trouble with that, I'm imaginative but not very creative also I was dead tired.
That was it though, they said they'd call me back with results in 2 weeks. My mom sent my roomate $130 to replace the cord cord her cats ate.
3 weeks later I called them because they didn't call me back. But today and they told me I am level 1 autistic. Ironically halfway through the short video call my very reliable pc just shut off for no reason. It hasn't done that before or since. They'll be sending me some resources and an invite to a workshop of some sort.
Not sure what to do with this yet. I'm just enjoying memes for now.
This means no sales, no themed merchandise, no decorations. December 25 and most other day are treated just like any other day for all stores malls, restaurants, ect.
You'd still get non religious holiday events like mothers days, or independence days.
What whould change?
I know this is a long shot as the ads are a 3rd party thing. But I'm not sure where else to ask.
I getting infuriatingly misleading attack ads from a local political party.
I've already removed any ad settings in Google such as removing ad ID and targeted Ad setting. But that did nothing.
Is there kind of like "don't show ads from this organization" option?
I am requesting modship for homestuck@lemmy.world
The existing mod has only ever made one post in there about 3 months ago. Even that was a result of me asking them to via DM. They have been inactive since.
After seeing it other users complaining about it in other communities I posted a notice in homestuck@lemmy.world that I come here and do this. I also suggested that if anyone else wanted it they could have it. It has been a week and I got a few responses but no one seemed interested taking the role.
In short this app claims to be a dating app for the Nerodivergent. Overall I am skeptical it isn't just another targeted data mining scheme that doesn't care about its users. So I am hesitant to jump in. Can anyone vouch for it?
Detailed Info dump:
For some reason despite being technically single for the past 2 decades I'm not as content with being alone as I used to be.
From what I remember about dating in my 20s dating sites where just waves of nerutypical people wanting lifestyles that I'd hate. I had nothing in common with anyone on them and gave up. I'm definitely more comfortable around other Nerodivergent people.
Normally I'd go volunteer or somthing to meet people. This isbthe healthy option. However I'm already working multiple jobs, and there doesn't appear to be many opportunities around that involve going out and meeting people.
So I'm cautiously investigating other, probably less healthy, options.