"it do be like that sometimes" is starting to lose it's magic a little
And it’s true. We don’t survive the trials of life we just molt into the next version of ourselves.
If a certain transformation is going un-completed because it feels like death, it can be helpful to recognize that it is death. That’s no illusion.
To truly live life to the fullest, one has to sacrifice their self to a future person again and again and again. When you finally get there, it won’t be as the person you are now.
I tried sacrificing myself to a future person once. But the future person had the same feelings, interests, and shortcomings. Then the future person realized herself as being no better than the person who sacrificed herself to her.
Reminds me of Louis CK’s joke about suicide.
You get a letter from the DMV: “You have to appear at such and such …”
“No I don’t”
This has been my motto for years but now I have incurable cancer in the brain so I'm looking for a new one...
Ray: Way of the road. Sometimes she goes and sometimes she doesn't go. Fuckin way she goes, boys
Bubbles: fuckin way she goes
So we were all gonna have a good time and get drunk but now all the money’s gone into the VLTs so there’s no drinkin or gettin drunk or nothing is … how she goes, apparently
when I face difficult situations."You’ll feel better in the morning."
I get a lot of intrusive, negative, catastrophising thoughts late at night. Worrying about things I would never worry about during daylight.
I always try to tell myself: don't think about this stuff right now, it's not helpful. Put it aside and if it still feels important in the morning then you can do something about it. Fixating on it right now serves no useful purpose.
"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
This resonated a lot with me during the pandemic shutdown.
"This too will pass"
True for both good and bad times. Good time? Enjoy it, since it will pass. Bad time? Endure it, it will pass.
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And when it's a real big mess: In 100 years, nobody will know or care.
Depending on the OPs circumstances, that realization may actually be what is causing them their bad times.
Friend of mine has had ideation for a long ass time and the frequency of them trying to step out of life increased considerably when that realization hit them.
When you're already feeling worthless and without purpose, realizing nothing has purpose and this whole concept of life and living we have is utterly meaningless in the grand scale of the universe, it's not ideal.
I don't see it as delusion, but being realistic.
What you and I do today is meaningless in the grand scale of the universe, and likely has a tiny effect on what happens to someone living a hundred years from now.
That doesn't mean that what we do doesn't have a more immediate impact.
Make your neighbor's day better, because while it won't matter in a million years, it matters now. So who cares if it costs you a few extra minutes of your life, it makes theirs better, and nothing means anything in the long run anyway, right? So why not make it easier for everyone else here, now? Making other people feel better feels good, so everyone wins, and we can better enjoy what time we have.
Some good points, which don't contradict the macro-level analysis. I agree and see things this way myself. Life is absurd, so might as well laugh about it and be nice to people while you're here, basically.
Just imagine that one person in Europe about 30,000 years ago who found himself stuck in some hole in the ground, alone and broken, finally dying of thirst and infection, who left behind four kids and his bonded life partner. They didn’t know where he went, and in only a season she had paired with another mate in the clan. Within four years anything said about this man had wilted to almost never, and forget about anything having been written down or logged in any way.
Forgotten to time.
It didn’t take long then. Might take longer now. But time will still forget us all. Make your mark while you’re around, because after that no one will give a shit.
"Slow down for a moment, tackle one thing at a time" helps a lot when I'm anxious and overwhelmed.
Yup. One thing at a time is a powerful thing.
When I was in college I had a therapist. I was telling him how I wasn’t sure if I was being perfectly efficient about how I was going about things, that I was wasting time and energy in my approach.
His advice was just to focus on doing something rather than nothing, without trying to optimize it.
It really helped.
This is really close to what I do as well. If I’m overwhelmed, I think to myself, “Just start with one small thing. Then do another small thing. Eventually, lots of small things add up to a large thing. Won’t get anywhere doing nothing and worrying about how much I have to do.”
It’ll sound cheesy, but “Don’t Go Hollow” is that phrase for me.
In 2019, I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. When at in-patient, we didn’t get much to express ourselves. Every meal, we ate with plastic utensils and foam plates and cups for safety. I would carve that phrase into the cups, along with a bonfire.
“Don’t Go Hollow” goes back to Dark Souls. It’s a phrase that means something in the game world, but it’s also metaphorical. What’s an avatar without the player? It’s like a body without spirit. You’re not progressing in the game because you checked out. If you want to keep going, you need to be present, to keep trying.
Other ones that come to mind are “This is a moment. It will pass.” which I said in the showers that scared the fuck out of me, and “Fall down 7 times, get up 8.” “Let it rip,” from the Bear is another one I like.
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"I am here, I move forward." Might do for you. Say it, take the time to see where you are and what you can do next. Even a small improvement is valid, just make sure you move and don't dwell on things you can't control.
Best of luck.
My personal favorite is from Wheel of Time
"Almost dead yesterday, maybe dead tomorrow, but alive gloriously alive today"
Another good one from the same series is "We are always more afraid than we wish to be, but we can always be braver than we expect."
There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good it is to live.....the sum of all human wisdom will be contained in these two words: Wait and Hope.
Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
This is probably a toxic one I learned from my teachers that time I tried learning Korean:
If it feels like you're drowning it's cause you haven't died yet.
I gatekeep my own misery with perspective.
Knowing that there's billions of people having a far worse moment/day/life keeps me intact. I have nothing to complain about.
This one has never helped me. It just has me wanting to give up so much more, overwhelmed by the pain and suffering of others along with my own.