Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up For Flood Of Closeted Republicans

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https://youtu.be/simV1ZXFsxI

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The Onion News Network -- 11 years ago

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I mean, this isn't even satire. That's straight up legit.

It's literally what just happened at the Republican convention.

Yup. It's incredibly sad, actually. So many people in the Republican party who are afraid to admit to their fellows that they're gay, because Republicans hate gay people. The majority of them, in fact, think that gay marriage should be outlawed. Not that I have much sympathy for closeted gay Republicans; they embrace every other bigoted position of their party, after all. It's just a bunch of people who accept that they'll be second-class citizens in exchange for them making every other "undesirable" a 3rd-class citizen.

Oh, their fellows know, and don't care. Gay Republicans are afraid of their sister-fuckin' inbred constituents finding out.

Hope they have some young Cubans on offer in case Gaetz drops in.

Here cums golden rod the pierced ear felon pirate. Who's playing Mr. Putin tonight.

Lube up and get vaccinated for literally everything possible. You know those chucklefucks ain't gonna, and nobody wants long COVID.

The most surprising thing in that photo, is a functional payphone