A guy on Tinder sent my friend a Patrick meme that said "Is mayonnaise an ice breaker?" I, a big Spongebob nerd, told her to pick that guy. They're married now.
(shoutout to the absolutely fantastic Sophie Corrigan who creates a lot of really beautiful art for bad pun lines like this one)
The longest relationship I ever had started this way: we were at a mutual friend's house with a bunch of our friends. I introduced myself, then sat across the room from them, in a big comfortable chair, and I fell asleep while looking at them. For some reason they thought this was charming.
Im happy single so one of y’all can have this one.
Are you a cigarette? Cause I wanna get you lit and put your butt in my mouth.
Savage one. If you see two girls in a club, go over and ask the one you are NOT interested in if they’d like to dance. When they say yes, say go on then I’ll keep your friend company.
“I find the most erotic part of the woman is the boobies.”
“If I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?”
"I'm here to apply for the position of your Next Bad Decision. My parents always said I was a mistake, so I think that makes me well qualified."
That's literally how I got my wife.
I heard one in Spanish that I liked.
"¡Si cocinas como camina me como hasta las raspitas!"
If you cook the way you walk, I'll eat even the scrapings from the pan.
Are you a plates in a drawer or plates in a cupboard kind of person?
I'm sure it'll work one of these days.