Since I see where this is going to go,
What is the quickest way you could get fired from your job and not end up as a registered sex offender, or with jail time for that matter?
Refusing to work, just sitting on a chair doing nothing even when asked directly by your boss
Sometimes this actually becomes a quick way to get promoted for some people. I haven’t figured that trick out yet though.
At many companies that's not a quick way to be let go. The process would take some time.
At a government job it took an entire year to fire an executive assistant who did absolutely nothing.
This, I work for a company that deals in very sensitive data. Grab my camera, snap a few picks and spend the rest of my days in Federal prison.
I'm self-employed, so probably dying.
At my old job, my hours were cut to zero after I finally made a single comment pointing out the hypocrisy of my boss's politics. After a year of dealing with him spouting Q-conspiracy every single day he was there, I kind of had enough.
The quickest way I actually did see someone get fired at my place was by posting racist shit on Facebook - on an account that was followed by many of his colleagues, including his manager. He was summarily dismissed at the start of his next shift.
Another one stole customers' credit card numbers, but that one ended up with a criminal record.
Open every hydrant in town and leave. Or, open a bunch in different sections and close them as fast as possible causing a hammer effect and making the water mains break. Bonus if it's next to a water tower. I'd never do that though, part of my job is to find said break.
Work for a fairly large ISP, I'm the main controller for cross connects for the entire west coast. Does the jumper that goes within a data center from ISP to customer. If I ordered disconnects on them some large players would go down.