most British response to a description of a bahn mi
Apparently the British wish to lock me up for daring to suggest something with flavor instead of a cucumber sandwich
Apparently the British wish to lock me up for daring to suggest something with flavor instead of a cucumber sandwich
to be honest, i doubt the spice trade had much of an influence on english prole cuisine
In all seriousness a lot of spices were used mostly in tea. But the British were mainly stealing stuff like cotton, gold, lumber, etc. and not necessarily food items.
Wouldn't want to have my spotted dick and blood crisps or whatever the fuck British people eat tasting like anything other than boiled celery.
I don't speak ... whatever language that is
this is shockingly racist for a casual response to banter
Let me attempt to translate to the language of your people. "Oi whats da madder with yer' gammers m8? Yew got a loicense for doz tastebuds?"
This probably the most embarrassing comment I've ever read here. I can only assume that you are currently dying of shame right now.
I can only assume that you are currently dying of shame right now.
I think he's still basking in the glory days of Reddit teaboos worshipping him for saying "cheers" on the internet after Doctor Who got popular in Burgerland.
Damn, you don't even recognize your own language when it isn't in received pronunciation dialect? You must be fantastically stupid.
I suppose British boarding school beats brain plasticity out of eel-brained smuglords like that as part of the contagious colonialism hazing ritual.
'Awright, me ol' mucker! I ain't got the foggiest bleedin' clue wot you're bangin' on about! Proper sorry, but I'm as British as jellied eels an' a pint o' bitter, I am. If you want me to sort ya out, you'll 'ave to natter in proper English, right? None o' that foreign gobblederemoved, or we're in a right two 'n eight, ain't we?'
LMAO
What,got a douche tea infusion up your ass,Mr Gammon?
Fuck right off with this snobbish language elitism you seasoning averse,wannabe aristocrat,island living fuck.
Your fucking "lAnGuAgE" doesn't deserve a lick of respect,Mr "I'm so fucking superior because I was born in the delusional ruined remnants of an empire of evil".
The fucking gall on this one,to turn up their fucking pig snout nose at AAVE as if it's some crime against god and their beautiful pristine language! I hope that when you die,they bury you right next to Maggie so you can both nourish yourselves with warm piss for an eternity in hell, you worthless goddamn Anglo!
Go slobber all over your precious fucking kings genitals or whatever it is you do for a national pastime in that rain soaked shithole you live in.
You people are proof that the western century of humiliation has already started in this country
In that respect I am indeed horifically, terribly British.
Being passive-aggressively and undeservedly smug over your own eel-brained blandness may have been cool on Reddit over a decade ago but it's old and this isn't even Reddit anymore.
I'm sorry
You're not, but you should be.
Holy shit mate why are you such a fucking dickhead? You sound like the kind of dumbass that would've participated in the fascist riots
Stop embarrassing the country by being such a racist fucking lampshade lad
You sound like the kind of dumbass that would've participated in the fascist riots
Maybe he was there after fellow whiteboy bigot, Boer-flavor got his gammon ass all riled up on Le Epic X Dot Com, The Everything App.
The only real English language is American English. British English is a pathetic shadow.
horifically
Butchering the Queen's English, are we? Please report for remedial condescending primary school.
you need to speak american to talk to me, i cant understand what a english is yet i can still read all your words
How dare you try to poison people with flavour! Everyone knows a proper cucumber sandwich is a single layer of cucumber slices (skin removed) between two slices of white bread (Use as a guide). If you're feeling particularly daring you may add a small pinch of salt and pepper but be careful not to over season, you wouldn't want to make something tasty by accident!
This is why the English have to claim half of the food their immigrants brought with them as their own, lest they look up and realize the only tasty thing they make themselves is deep-fried (and even then that's arguably Scottish).
Over a year ago I made fun of the blood-soaked colonial empire island's cuisine and had someone go full gammon on me because I was completely ignorant and (ableist slurs here) because I wasn't aware of how amazing this one curry place was from an authentic Indian family just down the street.
Hey now, the English stole that cuisine fair and square! Next you're gonna tell me the king should give back all the jewels in his crown and sceptre!!
And that big rock they stole from Scotland! That's a heritage treasure of the blood soaked colonial empire, too!
Regardless of how it got there, if it's the most eaten food in the country, how is it not their own? Tea and potatoes don't come from Britain either, not were fries or deep frying invented there.
You can make a pastry in a million different ways, but ultimately there's not really any significant difference between any north European pastry dish.
Scotland has as much a rightful claim to deep frying fish as Britain had to India in the first place (absolutely fuck all right).
You're missing the fundamental point here, though; fuck the UK, sink it in to the sea, Doggerland 2 coming summer of '25.
you got really close to what i think is the prototypical recipe, no shade. i just really like the daikon and pate spread.
If you went to an English tea room for afternoon tea
Well there's your first mistake
You have to remember that the cunts Brits spent hundreds of years raping and pillaging the world for spices, and the next hundreds of tears refusing to use them. The blander, the better!
English people eat butter sandwiches.
The more common version throws a couple of pommes frites in there so they can pretend it isn't just butter between slicea of white bread.
I thought that was an extreme poverty thing? Extreme poverty being another pround :ukkk tradition?
I used to eat butter and jelly sandwiches when I was a child. Would the Brits crucify me for adding jelly??? Is it too spicy
burn the entire place to the ground
Shitlingford here is right though, it's an old ingerlish tradition to pillage any establishment that serves nonwhite food and murder its occupants. Probably triggered some memories of visiting "the Indochina" during his Oxford years.
Historically speaking this is their response to pretty much any communication with a foreign culture.
I was at a farmers market once and bought a transcendentally good Banh mi from a food truck. They've never returned to the farmers market and I've never seen them anywhere else.
Hell yeah they are!
I've been wanting to do one that's basically the same as what I outlined, but vegan. I was thinking maybe if I take portabello mushrooms I could slice them on a mandoline to get like really flat mushroom rounds, roast those, use the jus and bits that won't slice flat from the mushrooms to make a vegan gravy, and have like a "roast beef" banh mi
I think this may have strayed too far from its origins as a poverty food. White bread, butter, cucumber and mayonnaise (if you're fancy) paired with some weak tea drowned in milk is a perfect way to save money so you can afford to have a TV license to watch England lose at football or splurge on Wensleydale Cheese to eat with your Christmas fruit cake and Christmas goose or go to Ibiza and get horribly sunburnt while complaining that the Spanish people are speaking Castellano.
Plus it helps keep you thin so you can fit in chimneys to sweep.
The point of a cucumber sandwich is that it's light and refreshing. You can eat it as a snack while drinking tea, and not worry about not being hungry later.
What you suggested sounds nice, but it's a meal and that's not what they're for.
It's already a fusion food. Pate, baguette and mayo are French, the spices, meat marinade and vegetables are Vietnamese.
Have you ever seen a British cucumber sandwich? It’s little more than a thin slice of cucumber (no skin) in between two slices of whatever that cake is that they call white bread. At least OP’s sandwich has jalapeño and sri racha in it.
It's not too far from an actual bahn mi recipe, some eyebrow raising substitutions though
Do they not have bird's eye chilli in the US?
Jalapeños are 5-10x less spicy. White Americans are usually in two camps when it comes to spiciness:
Can't handle it at all, start crying from just a single slice of jalapeño.
Extreme hot sauce masochists looking for pain and not flavor.
Also bird's eye chilis aren't available in every grocery store but there is always one that has them and is reasonably close.
Can’t handle it at all, start crying from just a single slice of jalapeño.
What should crackers do if they genuinely want to have a better spice tolerance but have this reaction? /gen
I will fully admit I have a Gringo spice tolerance — that is, not that much better than this — and my only excuse is autism (Asperger's if it makes a Nazi roll in his grave)
If you want to increase spice tolerance, just eat a little more over time. Instead of 0 out of 5 spicy at a Thai restaurant, get 1 out of 5 for a while, etc. Add a tiny bit of cayenne to your soup, that kind of thing.
It is also okay to just be sensitive to spiciness, esp. because it may be related to neurodivergence. The annoying thing about large groups of people avoiding spiciness / flavor, to me, is just when they are real sticks in the mud. Like they won't even try things outside of their palate due to pure obstinance or condescension or are clearly pretending.
It is also okay to just be sensitive to spiciness, esp. because it may be related to neurodivergence.
I'm completely sure that this is part of it for me, but I have definitely increased my tolerance over time. I'd like to continue increasing it, because it is nice to be able to enjoy more flavors.
Instead of 0 out of 5 spicy at a Thai restaurant, get 1 out of 5 for a while, etc.
It's a bit annoying when my dad is ordering a 5 and loving it but I'm stuck at like a 2 (at my local Thai place, 1 might as well be a zero — my mom who literally can't handle more than green pepper tabasco sauce can enjoy that). How do you know when it's time to increase to the next level? When you're feeling brave enough?
Just eat more things with capcaisin regularly. You get a tolerance bit by bit so it literally stops even registering as warm. The fun part is when that tolerance gets really high so sauces that are like 200,000 scoville are just a brief sting that fades into a general warmth over 5-15 seconds and then you get an intense body high as your body reacts to pain that you literally cannot even feel and floods your system with endorphins. Extremely hot peppers like scorpion peppers are also incredible and entirely unique flavors that you just can't get from anything else.
Of course the jellied-eel brained colonialist wants to burn the entire place to the ground because there's some flavor added. The over the top violence in response to scary others being otherly fits the British Imperial model.
It's funny because you're not even getting into exotic ingredients with the most far out being what? Sriracha? Cilantro? Ginger? They didn't even suggest MSG that scares everyone off. You're not pickling with rice wine vinegar and sugar (though I think you should) You could probably serve that shit in the bible belt and people wouldn't look twice.
Iirc it's literally the recipe for a banh mi that came from hello fresh, so like, the whitest version of such possible lol
You can find cilantro, ginger, and sriracha in white people groceries in the us, at least outside themidwest.