Regardless of gender, your 30s is a perfect time to date cute single people who just finished their first divorce.
Romance is different when you're both old enough to have so much life experience under your belt. It isn't the same. Not saying it's better or worse, but it's absolutely different.
Well, if anon thinks he is too late at 30+ years, it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't know if this helps, but I didn't meet my wife until I was in my forties. You have time.
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Obviously you are completely alone in your fifties being single, everyone else is in happy relationships.
If the sarcasm wasn't clear, it's literally never too late.
I had a friend during nurse training who divorced at 50, thought she was never going to be in another relationship, then met someone with whom she was happier than she ever imagined.
It's definitely possible.
People can get married to the right person in their 20s or 30s, change into different people, split up and find that someone else is now the right person.
You also get access to a much larger widow/widower market once you pass 50...
As @Num10ck@lemmy.world said: it's never too late to start being lovely.
As long as you're alive and capable of communicating, it's possible.
As long as you’re alive and capable of communicating
...here we go with the impossible standards.
It's never, never too late. I've seen men aged 60-75 get GFs and wives. One of them even had children with his new wife. Talk of the town is that one of these men never had a partner before.
At 30+ my romantic relationships are far more personal and romantic then any relationship I had in my 20's...
It takes a lot of work and compromise. You are getting one glance at a lifetime.
I got married sorta recently. My biggest hold-up was the fact that the most optimal outcome of marriage was this: I was going to spend the remainder if my life making them happy, always being there, and being an essential part of their existence, and when they need me most, in their golden days, near the end, they're gonna have to hold my hand and watch me fucking die.
I told them this before I proposed, and the crazy thing was, they were still all for it.
Yup, my brother married a wonderful woman when he was in his late 30s. They've been married >5 years and they still seem happy.
I've known people who found love much later as well. It's never too late OP.
If you insist on it being a girl, then yeah, it's too late. Adult relationships have their own brand of sweet and romantic.
I spent most of my 20s alone, and met the woman I married at age 33. It's never too late.
Meh, it can be easy to feel like that. But take a moment to look at all the songs, movies, poems, and books about people who felt this way since the begining of time and know you're not alone :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ovoBi3pXD_A
Everyone complaining about the gross vibes of the post, which like yeah, true. But also even within the framing of the post itself it's just bad. The second and third lines are basically "realise X". The third line adds nothing of value to the original OP's intent.
What gross vibes?
Don't lump the guy in with incels. He's not blaming other people for his problems, or complaining. He's just lamenting. I don't see anything in his post that's gross. Leave a lonely dude alone. God forbid he let himself feel sad for 5 seconds.
Sure, but why are you directing that at me? The point of my comment was to point out that that wasn't the main thing of note in the OP.
I take you at your word that that was your intention, but it doesn't read that way. It comes off with a tone of mockery and hostility.
The tone was like that mainly because it was being dismissive of what was already the majority of other comments in this thread. It was essentially "hey, you guys are all saying this, but here's another perspective."
You're literally the only person talking about "gross vibes" I can see in this thread. And you said "yeah, true" which to me indicates that you also think there was something gross about the post.
Might be related to some fediverse defederation stuff.
Here are some of the comments I was referring to:
- https://aussie.zone/post/10840041/9705646
- https://aussie.zone/post/10840041/9704905
- https://aussie.zone/post/10840041/9706259
All I was doing was saying yeah, they raise a good point, but not the main problem that I noticed with this post, which is just that it uses the meme format badly.
It feels a little ridiculous that we've gotten 6 comments deep into this, but...
None of those comments make any claims about poster. 2 of them are pedantic jokes in the "Can I use the bathroom?/I don't know, can you?" school of ignoring colloquial usage, and one is what I assume is a well-intentioned legitimate caution about not getting caught in a cyclical spiral of self-defeatism.
As to the meme format, a green text can be anything from an epic 50+ post story about faking an IT job, to a single line about hating one's name, to threatening a cartoon cat, so I'm not sure what template format it's violating. If you don't think it's particularly well-written or interesting, that's fine of course, but just say that.
It's a bitter pill to swallow, but the truth is that some people just aren't meant to be loved. I think accepting that is, for some people, a bit part of growing up and becoming a more mature person. You gotta stop being envious of others who possess something you never will and just kinda...get on with your life. Find a cause you care about. Put your energy elsewhere. Maybe stop watching romcom anime.
A big part of the problem is that society as a whole took upon itself to ridicule these people are just aren't meant to be loved.
I don't know if that's a part of the problem or just a separate problem altogether. We expect people to partner up, when we should normalize people being alone. When people don't or can't, we might be hardwired in our monkey brains to see them as outcasts from the group.
That's pretty much where I'm at. I'm 38 and supremely pathetic in the eyes of society. I've just accepted that I'm entirely undesirable and live how I want to, or at least live in the way I'm allowed to. In a way I've turned into my parents where I find myself saying "life isn't a fairy tale" to people kinda often lol there is no "someone for everyone."
Love is for other people.
Homeownership is for other people.
Career enjoyment is for other people.
Retirement is for other people.
It is what it is.
I'm not completely discounting the possibility you're right, it is possible you're just very unlucky, but your line of thinking is pretty consistent with people suffering from depression, and depression tends to make you make decisions that make you stay depressed.
I could see that. I've been in that state for over 20 years now so "depression" just kinda became "normal."
Not for quite as long, but I've been there my friend.
I don't know how to tell you how to alleviate depression, but I can say that if you manage to, things may look drastically more hopeful afterwards. When you're really truly depressed, the idea that things can get better just doesn't make sense. You can't trust your ability to judge that though because when you're depressed the part of your brain you need for that just isn't working right. It's not capable of telling you whether normal happiness is possible, you no longer have the tools you need to judge things accurately.
If you're like I was, your depression also tells you that you are special in that the ideas that work for a lot of people who go down a path of trying to get better just wouldn't work for you and it will take any minor setbacks as proof of the same. Your depression isn't exactly lying to you, it's just stupid and it's not qualified to determine that.
I'm pulling for you.
Gotta any pretty pictures of what that looks like? Shit don't matter to me until I'm properly free.
I mean that's more dependent on you? If you just want someone to hold you for an hour or so you can easily put that on a dating profile. You just need to be clear with your expectations of the relationship you're trying to pursue. Otherwise you just kind of dance around pissing eachother off guessing.