https://thehardtimes.net/culture/pope-francis-offered-three-netflix-stand-up-specials-following-use-of-gay-slur/
Pope Francis is reportedly in talks with executives at Netflix to film three exclusive stand-up comedy specials after His Holiness used a homophobic slur during closed-door discussions with bishops last week.
https://thehardtimes.net/culture/old-family-recipe-unnecessarily-racist/
Deceased grandmother Anita Reilly’s bereaved found a trove of family recipes, including one for a beloved, secret family soup that was also “racist as fuck.”
https://www.theonion.com/trump-quietly-avoids-eye-contact-with-rudy-giuliani-beg-1851484268
NEW YORK—Seeing the two men’s gazes lock for a split second before one quickly lowered his head, sources confirmed Tuesday that Donald Trump quietly avoided eye contact with Rudy Giuliani on the steps of the courthouse where his disgraced former personal attorney and campaign lawyer was begging for change. “Spare a…
https://newsthump.com/2024/05/16/fictional-alien-time-travellers-cant-be-black-insist-morons-2/
Travelling through space and time in a police box requires white skin, according to several Internet morons today. As Ncuti Gatwa began his stint as the new Doctor, lots of angry idiots have spent …
https://newsthump.com/2024/05/14/woke-woke-woke-snowflake-cancel-culture-woke-insists-lee-anderson/
“Woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, snowflake, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke, woke,” fumed Reform UK’s solitary MP, Lee Anderson.
https://www.theonion.com/trump-reflexively-asks-michael-cohen-to-silence-michael-1851473236
NEW YORK—During a brief recess from his ex-attorney’s testimony regarding hush money payments made shortly before the 2016 election, former President Donald Trump reflexively cornered Michael Cohen and asked him for help silencing Michael Cohen, courtroom sources confirmed Monday. “Listen, Michael, this guy Cohen…
https://www.theonion.com/florida-students-given-lifelike-dolls-to-simulate-respo-1851472716
The Onion brings you all of the latest news, stories, photos, videos and more from America's finest news source.
https://newsthump.com/2024/05/07/man-decides-its-just-easier-to-become-climate-change-denier-than-waste-his-life-washing-out-food-containers/
A man has decided it’s easier to become a climate change denier than spend 90% of his free time scrubbing out the remnants of an M&S Broccoli Cheese or Waitrose Cannelloni in order to recycle …
https://www.theonion.com/new-texas-law-makes-it-legal-to-sue-any-woman-whose-wei-1851427892
AUSTIN, TX—In another major victory for the pro-life movement, Texas passed a new law Monday making it legal to sue any woman whose weight fluctuates in order to find out what is going on there. “Is she yo-yo dieting, or is she getting a clandestine abortion every other month?” said Beth Sikes, a spokesperson for…
https://thehardtimes.net/culture/kristi-noem-saves-face-by-claiming-dog-she-shot-was-infected-with-woke-mind-virus/
South Dakota Governor and potential Trump 2024 running mate Kristi Noem tried to save face after admitting to shooting her dog by claiming that the dog was infected with the “woke mind virus” and therefore needed to be euthanized.
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