I posted a nude online for my first time a couple weeks back. I don't normally send many nudes, but I'd wanted to do this for a while and finally pulled the trigger on a photo I liked. It was a really great experience, everyone in the comments was so friendly! Definitely incentivized me to post another one sometime.
If you open up his profile you should see it in his post history…make sure you're logged in when you open the profile page! Mmm those sexy lips…
Last Saturday I went on a casual first date at a sushi place with a girl from Hinge. I liked her and hoped we would meet up again: she was cool to talk to, which was the most important thing, and also, while I don't exactly have a type per se, I do like some nice boobs, and sweet mother of mercy, did she have some. But she apparently didn't enjoy our date as much as I did, because she ghosted me afterwards. I sent her a few more texts over a couple of days, but alas, no joy was forthcoming.
I spent a couple more days feeling like twice-eaten dog kibble and being acutely aware of how touch-starved I still was, but I had another Hinge match I hadn't talked to in a week because of the first one, so on Thursday, after reality had set in, I hit her up (while... admittedly not being fully truthful about why I hadn't done so earlier, which I do feel kinda bad about even being reassured by a friend that I shouldn't) on the offchance I hadn't totally screwed myself by leaving it that long, and to my utter astonishment, she responded! And it turned out she was dealing with some serious shit at work (not wanting to be too specific, let's just say that since I had last talked to her, she'd walked out of the job and her therapist advised her to sue).
So I drew on my experience of having a prosecutor for a dad and gave her some tips for how to prepare a case, and then drew on my experience having had painful and traumatic experiences and offered to take her to a cat cafe in the city on Saturday, which she immediately accepted. Unfortunately, I got unlucky with transit, so by the time we actually met up at the cat cafe, they were minutes away from closing, but we were in the city, so we just went bar hopping instead: we got to know each other over wine, then once my not being a murderer had been established, relocated and got significantly stronger (and less expensive) margaritas.
We get into our cozy little booth in the bar, we get the social lubricant going, and after a while her hand is in mine, and I start giving her a hand massage. Most people carry a lot of tension in their hands and wrists, particularly when they're dealing with a lot of stress: if you've never gotten your hands and wrists properly worked over by somebody who knows what they're doing, do it, it'll change your life. And lucky for her, I'm a professional musician specializing in piano, so I've had it done to me enough to know how to do it, and I have the hands to do it very well. So she's saying how good it feels, and as we're talking I can feel her whole body relaxing next to me, she does the "why do you like me" thing that women I date seem to like asking me, and I tell her that I like her because I've been enjoying her company, because I think what she does is interesting (I won't specify, but it was a really interesting job hamstrung by lawsuit-worthy management), and also because I find her attractive, and then she says "Would you please kiss me?"
Sweet mother of mercy.
Well, long story short, we made out in the bar until a really bad smell wafted in, then walked around the area a little bit kissing each other some more until we both needed to get home, with her at one point starting to ask me something and then forgetting what it was because I was "too distracting." Then eventually we wound up back at my transit stop to go home, she called an uber to get herself home and then we kept making out until the uber arrived... about thirty seconds later, because fucking of course it would show up immediately the one time you kinda wanted it to take a while (she also expressed annoyance at this).
We have already made plans to meet up again in a few days, and will actually go to the cat cafe this time.
TL;DR Went on a date, got ghosted afterwards. Felt like shit. Then had an abrupt reversal of fortune, got another date, and made out with her at a bar. Also, cats.
I know! A little bit later she got flustered and said "sorry if that was too forward," and I said something like "Imma be real, that was the hottest thing anybody has said to me in ages." So many good feelings.
I keep exploring my bisexuality in gay saunas.
The last time, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and to go to a facility I never went to. But the magic didn't work.
Too big and too busy, it felt like an indoor public pool. Too much mirror walls (I'm very nearsighted, it's not convenient). A questionable policy about condom distribution..
Nevertheless, I decided to give a chance to the place, and I had some oral fun with a guy. Usually, I have 3 or 4 partners in row but this time, all I wanted after that was a piece of cake and a cup of tea. I found a bakery on my way back home.
Also, I did my coming out to my doctor this morning to talk about STD prevention and vaccines (papillomavirus, hepatitis). She had me tested (I'm clean), and she offered to prescribe PrEP without my having to ask.
This is really interesting. Good for you to keep exploring and learning. Did you learn anything in particular about yourself or sexuality in general this time?
You can also get a prescription for DoxyPEP which will reduce the risk of other STDs. Ask about it. You take it in addition to PrEP, not instead. Stay safe, my bi brother!
I've discovered a new serenity (I'm no longer afraid of lack), in a context that corresponds to my ethics (no one exploits anyone for that).
It also unblocked something in my relationship. My partner is no longer worried that I'm frustrated by her lack of libido. She knows that she has all the time she needs to make it come back, without pressure, without fear that it might one day be a reason for breaking up.
What I've learned specifically about sex. First of all, I've always loved being sucked (by a girl, until recently) for the physical feelings. I realized that I was also projecting myself in her place. Besides, I never thought a glans could be so soft on the lips.
I also discovered how unpleasant it is to have your head pressed down while you're sucking (I never did that before). You're there, making your best to give pleasure to your partner, and they are obviously more interested in seeing you puke.
I also understood the letting go and the trust it needs to be penetrated. When you're on your knees, with someone in your back, you feel so vulnerable.
As a feminist ally, it's an incredible (and still very incomplete) experience to live.
Edit: about DoxyPEP, this treatment is not allowed yet for STD prevention in my country. Right now, my doctor is already making an exception for me, as she prescribed a not authorized dosage for PrEP.
I feel like I'm looking at a version of me from another universe. I'm a recently bisexual man whose wife is recently asexual. I don't really know where they are on the spectrum because they clearly enjoy sex with me (and they're also definitely not aromantic, they love romance). Regardless, in the past year, I don't remember when exactly, but we were prepping to have sex and when they came out of the shower they were just crying. They were telling me how we needed to have an open relationship and stuff.
For context, we've always tossed the idea around. We're high school sweet hearts in our 30s. They're literally the second person I ever dated. (They're nonbinary now, they/she.) We were conservative Christians when we began dating. When we're talking about it we always describe it as we both became different people over the years but those two people are still compatible. She came out as bi a few years back as well.
Anyways, any relationship that's been nearly half your life (by May I think it will be) I feel like the topic of poly/open comes up. We loved the joke from Arrested Development. "Lots of people think it will work for them and it doesn't, but it might work for us." From their side they don't want to because they believe they'd get jealous. From my side I'm curious and sort of want to try but realistically I just know it's not going to end well probably.
So my wife comes out just sobbing to me about how they're never going to have a strong libido like they used to (we were more active in highschool and college). I tell her you know, I'm open to it, I really am, but this isn't the state to be making these kinds of decisions in.
I'm reading your story and it makes me wonder, if I had spoken to them differently, would I be where you are today? And just in case my wording is off or something, I'm in no way trying to imply you're doing something wrong. It's just that this very specific moment happened to me.
Anyways, we do have rules for what is acceptable to do with other people. Essentially like, "I'm drunk at a party, what is acceptable?" Sort of stuff like cuddles and kisses are okay, making out and touching genitals aren't.
We did come sort of close having a third. It's a stretch to call it close, but like, if you consider any time three people are in a group it was close. We had a friend visit from out of town. My wife and I sort of joked.to each other about them being a good candidate because weove the idea of being able to date our friends in a poly way or whatever but it's a huge risk for little gain. We'd need to try it with new friends that we don't mind losing if shit goes south, you know? Not our old friends we've had for years who would never look at us the same after we brought it up. This friend from out of town was a new friend and because they live so far away we wouldn't have to bump into them! We ended up deciding not to pursue it. I don't really remember why but I think we made the right call.
We did get some good cuddles on the couch all three of us though.
Idk, I'm rambling at the point. Thank you for sharing your story. I feel like we're kindred spirits from across time and space haha.
Thank you for sharing your story. Maybe we're indeed variants from different timelines. Let me tell you more about my timeline.
We've been together since the university, 20+ years ago. I fell in love at first sight, l never felt something so strong for someone. We shared and still share lots of things: we're gamers, nerds, far leftist, cat lovers, we never planned to have kids..
The first years were a firework. But with time, she went through a lot of different stuff which slowly ruined her libido. Nowadays, she has treatments for two medical conditions, each one of them is known to have a negative impact on sexuality (she can't even enjoy fingering herself alone anymore).
We tried a lot of things, but eventually she just felt bad because she was depriving me of a sexual life and she put a lot of pressure on herself for that. So she suggested we should open our relationship for me. And for a long time, I didn't want to have sex with anyone else, because I believed true love means monogamy.
But she was still very insecure because of our lack of sexual life, so I searched for a solution which would not endanger our couple. And so I discovered that gay saunas exist.
It's a good solution for me. I have sex at will, so she doesn't put anymore pressure on herself for that. I can explore an other side of my sexuality, and make some fantasies come true. There's no risk that I fall in love with someone else.
We established simple rules: I don't date people outside of the sauna. I tell her when I go there (so she knows my phone is off). I limit the risks of STD. No sex with someone we know. No shame, I can tell her what I did when I come back home. We can freely speak about this deal, and stop it if one of us start to feel unconformable about it.
The second time I went to a sauna, our whatsapp was litteraly like :
That's so simple. I love her.
Thank you so much for sharing this story. It's heart warming to hear success stories about open relationships. ❤️
This conversation has popped back into my head. Over the last year a friend my wife met over the Internet and at conventions became a mutual cuddle buddy of ours and (with my wife) a romantic interest.
In hindsight I think your story helped nudge me towards it. Around October I began doing erotic roleplay with folks online. A lot of times I wanted to do more stuff with them, like JOI or just involve voice chat or anything but it was always outside of the limits.
After it was clear my wife was interested romantically in our mutual friend we brought back up the topic of poly and where our boundaries really are. To make a long story short, I just picked up my wife from the airport last night after her visiting this friend alone. I'm very happy for them. I've started doing more directly sexual things online with folks as opposed to just roleplay too. We're both as happy as can be still.
Also, your story about what your partner said after the first time reminded me of the first time I went on an online "date" with someone. My wife was actually excited for me and gushed over the details with me and afterwards, later that day she very specifically came and sat with me on the couch and cuddled. It's been a great experience overall. Just like with you, it's helped my wife feel less anxious about needing to be able to satisfy me. It's made the times she actually is in the mood better as well because she feels less stressed.
That's nice to read. I'm glad you've found your own way of being in a relationship that works for you.
My partner and I continue to be in an open relationship, and we have no regrets or doubts that it was the right thing for us.
It's very interesting to hear the perspective of a man experience the flip side of the proverbial coin regarding trust and vulnerability, I'm glad you enjoyed it 🙂
Last weekend my girlfriend and I went out for a date night to the club where we first met! Bought new dresses, got all dolled up, really went all out, it was amazing! We had drinks and danced our asses off, and there were several girls who came up dancing with us and not so subtly making moves for more. We were totally wrapped up in each other though, and we were all over each other at our seats. Things got pretty heated, and the naughtiness of being in public was so delicious (plus we were both pretty tipsy at the time), she ended up fingering me to orgasm right at the table! I get a little loud when I come, so she muffled me with a kiss right when it happened, if just to keep me from screaming out in the middle of the club. I feel like we got away with it pretty well, but we were definitely getting smiles and thumbs up from a few people who caught what was happening. After that we decided to stop pushing our luck and went home for some privacy for the rest of the night. Absolutely amazing time all around!
This weekend was much more tame, I made us a nice dinner then we took a nice night walk just people watching and enjoying each other. I also introduced her to my sister, she's the first one in my family I've opened up to about being in a relationship with a woman. She's super supportive and it went really well, they really seemed to get along! I'm working my way up to telling my parents and this was a big step
Dang you and the gf are really going all out, and I continue to root for you. I'm envious that you have such great physical and personal chemistry. I'm so glad to hear your sister is cool with it; all the best with your parents!
I wonder if I'd be on the same path with J if he lived locally. I've never been in a relationship with another man before…
Thanks, I really lucked out meeting her, we're having such a great time! I'm still winging it and trying to figure things out as I go, but these past couple months have been so great with her! I hope you and J can make it work, it sucks that you're so far from each other. But hey, if the feelings are there, I bet you guys can make it work!
♥️
I wonder if right now it's easy to have this intense connection and physical attraction because we live far away enough that anything more than fwb is impractical. And frankly a hunky otter bottom vers fwb I can see every month or two, who shares a career path and other interests, would be awesome!
Haha I can definitely see that, if a relationship is impractical because of distance, then you can really lean into the immediate, consequences-free fun! No need to try to force anything, just enjoy! I definitely wasn't expecting to find a relationship right away when I started opening myself up to that part of my sexuality, life gives us wonderful surprises sometimes!
Aww this is really great! I'm glad your sister is so awesome, it sounds like a good first step! Good luck when you tell your parents 🙂
Tell us more please. How did you approach it? How was it for each of you? I've never done anal with a woman, so I'm extra curious.
Kinda funny how it happened actually. We had talked about it a few times and were both interested in trying it, but she seemed a bit hesitant. That night we were in bed and things were getting sexy. The lights were off and I was at an awkward angle and I honestly just missed what I was aiming for. She was surprised but definitely seemed really turned on and told me to keep going so we continued. Didn't have lube so we really didn't get far but it was enough to know that we were both super down to try again soon, definitely with lube next time.
Not ideal but still fun. This was immediately after we both showered so nothing bad happened. Next time we'll be prepared.
I wish you both well in your anal adventures. You should let her have a turn too, by the way, if you've never tried that. 😏
She's expressed interest in this, we'll probably try that someday. My butt is grosser than hers so I'd have to do some R&D on preparation procedures.
Don't get too excited, it wasn't sex, but my wife and I cuddled with a friend. Earlier this year my wife cuddled with someone and for whatever reason it pissed me off. I did a lot of soul searching about it. They (my wife) told me it was totally platonic and I believe them but it just pissed me off. I finally came to the conclusion that I was jealous because nobody was cuddling with me lol. As simple as that.
So fast forward to a few weeks ago, we had a friend visit from out of town. We sort of joked about them being a third (see my other comment on this thread for details there lol) but decided against it. We did go back over our boundaries that we consider cheating. A friend of ours is being cheated on by her husband -- they're doing ethical non monogamy but he's breaking every rule they set forth so it's just cheating and gaslighting in my eyes. Anyways, because of that the two of us are like more talkative about our boundaries lately lol. So we say cuddles and even short kisses are fine, just don't grope or make out. This is when my wife was like making sure because earlier this year that happened with the other friend. My wife is great, I fucking love them.
Anyways, so I told them, I will definitely get upset if no one is cuddling with me while the two of them do if they do. But I sort of narrowed it down to that even if it's my wife like in the middle cuddling with me and them it won't make me jealous. I just need anyone cuddling with me.
We were going to go to a haunted house earlier in their stay (they are they/them pronouns) but I was getting over a cold. We had our big annual Halloween party coming. That's why they flew in. I really didn't want to get them sick and miserable during that. So I chose to stay home. I was really really looking forward to them clinging to me. Like we were talking about it. It's not some weird hope I just dreamt up that would happen. I was going to be in the front, my wife in the back, and they were going to be between us because they're so scared of haunted houses. They even said they would probably just cling to me the whole time lol.
But we did have a few moments where everything aligned. I don't want this post to just sound depressing lol. We were showing them to various gay bars in the area. We went to one and, shocking, but got drunk lol. All three of us get more physical when we're drunk. I know my wife and I are on the same page but I think they were to, but like we want to be more physical with friends but it's so tricky to do without seeming weird, especially once the relationship dynamic is set. Either way we all had a lot of contact with each other that night. The part that sticks out was when we were on the porch. I had a arm around each of their shoulders and they were holding hands. The nights a blur but I remember giving my wife a smooch on the head for some reason and our guest was right there so they got one too. The other moment was minor but we cuddled on our own porch. I sort of laid my arm out and both of them rested their heads on it like a pillow.
So there you have it. Some sort of naughty sort of not so naughty fun I had recently.
That's adorably naughty fun 🫠. Have you talked to your wife about that evening to reflect and what you both did/didn't like?
Yes! More from a sake of transparency and excitement but yeah. The touching and cuddling was all very obvious but I wasn't sure they knew I gave them a little kiss on the head too. They thought it was cute and were happy for me.
Both of us (my wife and I) have always wanted to be more physical with friends and get very physically affectionate when we're drunk. We talk to each other about how we always want to do this sort of thing but even the risk of talking about it might make people too uncomfortable. It was really nice finally getting to do it. ❤️
I can relate to getting frustrated with nobody cuddling you. I recently started seeing someone after being touch starved for what seemed like a really long time, and it's such a relief to finally have someone you can be intimate with, even if it's only platonic (if that makes sense, which I think it does). Makes a huge difference. People say you need to learn to be happy with yourself because no one else can make you happy, but if the reason you're unhappy is because you're starved for physical contact, then...
This week was weird as it started in Pasadena for a conference, and then Monday through Friday I moved over to Beverly Hills. The last few days were entirely about connecting with the guy from LA, who we'll just call J.
Week before
Omg my fwb was sick this week so I didn't get to see him this weekend. Tell me about the Pasadena guys so I have some entertainment 😂
Ah I'm sorry to hear that. Wish you were closer, we'd have some fun I bet. Pasadena stories:
Yes we sure would 😏
That's so creepy that the one guy wanted your hotel and room number up front?!
I bet most of them were just online to flirt and not actually meet anyone!
Little stories about my time with J this week. Mostly so I don't forget:
The stories with J are so hot and lovely. Do you think your relationship will evolve in a more stable way? (Exclusive relationship, non-monogamous relationship, friend with benefits..)
Thanks! We talked about it a little bit. We agree there's something there. J said "it seems we're going to be in each others' lives for a while."
He's currently in an open relationship but doesn't want to be. Also he doesn't get all these good feelings with that guy the way he does with me. The thing is he lives in LA and I live in NYC, so a real relationship would be difficult. I think a strong friendship with sexy benefits whenever we can meet is the way to go.
He did say a few times that he really wants to move to NYC. He also said I don't need to rent a car next time I come to LA as I can just use his 🫠. So we're developing closeness for sure. And this was just supposed to be me giving random bj to a tourist in Manhattan on a rainy day in October!
I love these J stories! I hope you find a way to stay in each other's lives because the connection sounds amazing 🙂
