"Oh just get it done when you have the time. It's all good!"
"No! No it is not all good! I need a deadline otherwise it will never be done! The deadline is not for how long to spend on the project, it's to know how long I can realistically procrastinate before the bug up my butt makes me finish the entire project in a single night."
I recently found my limit regarding this. I couldn't think during one of my most important exams of the year,. Turns out you can put too much pressure on yourself, too. Now I live in perpetual fear!
Even then not always, for me it's if other people are relying on me to do something, but if it's just for myself I don't always get it done
And the right amount of pressure depends on the situation, so there’s no recipe or routine to employ that works consistently.
I make great art, as long as I'm in class forcing me to meet deadlines for my creations.
Haven't picked up art material since I passed those classes.
Its a gift and a curse. For work I always seem to somehow pull miracles out of my ass, but only last minute. It's likely that days of panic and anxiety are what fuel my miracle powers
I'd rather just never have to deal with the pressure. Doesn't matter if it brings out my motivation and focus. It's unpleasant to be worrying about it the whole time. I'd rather function normally and be able to handle situations as they happen than procrastinate even if I get great results because instead of spending the time on it immediately I'm wasting energy and feeling stressed by putting it off. Only time it's useful is in real emergency situations which I also don't intend on getting myself into.
Atomoxetine has neturalized almost all anxiety for me.
Now I don't have the panic-fueled motivation to do things (◐‿◑)
I have so much homework due tomorrow but I also condensed my schedule so much that I am on campus from 8 am to 6 pm and there's no way in hell I'm gonna do any homework tomorrow but fuck I can't get out of bed rn
Oh, that means you can get a dumb job that you just kinda enjoy. Like at a hobby shop, becoming a stripper, or making coffee.
I’m p jealous of your situation tbh, but also get how it has its own unique stress which isn’t ‘better’ than anyone else’s.
Well, what stinks is that I have a degree in software engineering, and quite like it. Neurotypicals in my situation would work on personal projects and that’d help them eventually get a job… but I really need the structure of a job to get work done. Otherwise, I just end up writing little scripts for random stuff, things I can complete in a few hours…. But they’re not resume worthy projects.
I’m working on social anxiety rn, but hopefully I can get networking and then maybe do like you said, I can find some cool people that can get me in at a workplace that may be enjoyable even if not the best paying.
Ah.
What about volunteering for an NPO? There are thousands that need help building systems that don’t have the ability to hire engineers. I’ve known a handful of folks that built their resumes like that and were able to pretty quickly get hired somewhere.
There’s a dev volunteer group that finds NPO projects to help with, Ive lurked in a couple of meetings. Seems promising, just gotta deal with the social anxiety… and actually get involved.
Have you tried just being not socially anxious? 😅
I kid. I deal with it too and know how hard it is to overcome. Best of luck to you!
So wait, I'm just reading all these memes and they describe my life in a lot of ways. Do I actually have ADHD or is this just part of being a human?
If you relate a lot, you might. Checking out adhd symptoms and if you fit most of the them, you can consider a diagnosis if you thinking that's important (or you think you need medication) , or just start looking for ways to handle the adhd in areas you think are affecting you.