This first made me laugh.... For like 3 seconds. Annnnd then I slipped into existential despair. Well done, sir.
Shit if it has to be 5 then I might have some difficulties on the "them caring about my safety" part
All I'd have to do is exclude the relatives and I'd be fine though
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She is a dead gohst of the 60' so she is over 60 by now.
"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire."
— Jaya Ballard, task mage
It would help if I knew what a "cryptid" is. Sounds like a lame replacement word for "zombie" or "alien" used in some random video game.
It's not even a reference though, it's just using a word for a classification of an animal that is doubted to exist, like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster.