Shout out to anyone having a shitty day today due to the “family” issues or loss. It’s been hard to avoid.
I totally get this. More places email you asking if you want to opt out of messages around days like father's day. It's good they have that acknowledgement for the people it has bad connotations for
•
I find mother's day to be tougher than father's day, but unfortunately I've yet to actually see anywhere that has an opt out option for mother's Day, even all the places that email me asking about father's day
I was considering to tell a guy who shouted "happy father's day" repeatedly in a South Melbourne Market stall to shut the fuck up.
I literally haven't left the house today to avoid any of this shit, and by and large I've been successful.
Yeah I've put my family group chat on mute for today because of all the celebratory father's days pics and whatnot and they all full well know what my father is like. Coupled with some other family drama that cropped up, easiest to just mute and move on
I had the stupid idea of downloading Hinge as one of my Sunday Sleep Deprivation Mishaps. As soon as I downloaded it, a guy who I matched with two years ago on a different app sends me a rose.
Now this guy asked me on a date after talking for a while (not making that mistake again) and at first I said yes. But the next day, I said no and apologised. He tells me that I did him dirty, he's the most depressed he's been in five years, he was going to organise a beach date and buy me flowers, he couldn't celebrate his friend's exciting news when he saw my message, he told his family about me, yada yada yada. I thought I was bad but this was like a whole new level of desperation and I noped tf out immediately. Dude would also compare me to girls he was going out on dates with and telling me about his date fails. Put me on pedestal. It's not fair to anyone involved to put someone on a pedestal. I don't think it's something that people are really aware of sometimes, though.
Some people really need to be okay with being alone. I guess a relationship would be nice one day, but I love my peace :) and even though it seems like being on the apps could increase the chance, I'm just going to live my life. If it happens, nice. If it doesn't, then so be it.
If you chase butterflies, they'll fly away. If you build a nice garden, you might attract butterflies. If no butterflies, you will have built a beautiful garden for yourself. I'm building my garden :)
My history with relationships is different from yours, but some of the lessons are the same I think. It's important to know ourselves, to cultivate our own sense of self, to endeavour to be the person you are, and live authentically, true to yourself.
It's easy to lose our sense of self within an incompatible relationship. We mould ourselves to fit with our partner, and when incompatible, it's to our own detriment.
To indulge in ourselves, be ourselves without answering to anybody, without being needed or clung to, is a great way to grow confidence. Confidence in our self, in our sense of worth in this world, our place in the universe.
You are intelligent, articulate, clever, and beautiful. You do beautiful, human things. You don't need apps to find connection; human connection is formed by being together in person, doing something together. I know you are awesome, I believe in you 💜
yeah, you barely know the guy , he barely knows you, all the guilt trips and the pedestal thing , those are huge red flags
and what spud said, you can do things together with a partner but you have to build your own life too
I find confidence in doing things, anything really.
And I don't ever ask permission to like or dislike something
Some people really need to be okay with being alone. I guess a relationship would be nice one day, but I love my peace :)
Don't you live at home with your mum?
I do. In this case, I meant being alone as in enjoying one's own company and not needing a relationship to feel satisfied.
I forgot about hangovers
Edit: It's weird being back here in this dead suburb after being out in Brunswick last night. I'll be moving soon.
Ikwym about the whole "dead suburb" thing. After living in places like Brunswick, and St Kilda many years ago, I unreservedly hate where I live now. Just houses, houses, houses being demolished and replaced with grey shitty dog box units, the odd shitty overpriced cafe. Boring as fuck and lifeless. If you live in the outer outer suburbs, out west or north I especially sympathize. Lucky to have a shitty overpriced mini mart in some of those places.
That's where I am. Is it too much to have an actual bakery and a deli in walking distance. The only thing that makes it bearable is I ride my bike to most places instead of driving
I’ve never been rich enough to live inner city. Grew up in outer suburbs and now live in a middle suburb. Yeah it’s rubbish ammenities compared to all that you get in inner city. But also I don’t have financial stress, I have space for a garden, and can still go to the city when I need to. It’s a compromise I’m ok with.
That's the sad part, I've never been rich either. When I was a student, just over 30 years ago, my then boyfriend and I rented a flat 1 minutes walk from St Kilda beach for $75 a week. You could get a bowl of chilli or fill it yourself falafel in Acland St for $4. We bought a 2 bedroom flat in another part of St Kilda for $87,000. Our relationship went arse up and we sold it within a few short years for not much more than we paid for it. Then I moved to Brunswick, where you could rent a 4 bedroom house for $85 per week. Some houses were shitty, some had the odd unusable room complete with hole in the roof. Some had old stables out the back. But at that price who cared. We drank wine and partied every night. Young people now will never have the experience of living in vibrant areas on the cheap the way I did, and it makes me sad. But you've gotta take the wins where you can, like you have, with your garden and financial security, and I'm actually quite a nostalgic and ungrateful bastard lol.
Exactly. Lifeless. I'm getting on in years and want to be where there's life.
Hopefully soon I'll be moving.
Yes. I was planning an office day tomorrow (I like Mondays - it's quiet and I can do little hardware chores) but the thought of fighting that wind in the morning does not appeal
Oh wow I'd forgotten about this! I loved this show when I was really little, I don't remember why.
My kid is making pancakes for her dad. She shut the kitchen door. I'm not allowed in there. I hope I have a kitchen by the end. Currently rocking backwards and forwards.
I’m getting chicken Parma this year 😎
(or Parmy if you’re challenged. I’m all about inclusivity)
I made spag bol for dinner and I'm tasting, tasting, tasting somethings not right. Adjusting, tasting, adjusting, tasting. Sat down to eat with the garlic bread and toum. Finished my plate and then it jerried. Forgot to put garlic in it. Ffffuck.
If you make a hat big enough it effectively becomes a burka. Which if it is waterproof seems like a very practical option in bad weather. Plus it means you can go out in your pyjamas without anyone knowing. I think it just needs an oodie-style marketing campaign with a catchy name.
I survived. Love my Dad, it was good seeing him. He's lost weight which is good, eating healthy and going for walks around the Dandenongs.
Opa gave me some 20yo rum. Never bought the bottle out, but did say his sister gave it to him the last time she was here, which was about 2000.
It smelt delicious, evaporated on my lips. It tasted sweet, painful, and smokey in that order on the way down my throat. It burnt my ears and activated my reflux. It was 80%. 10/10 reccomend my Opa's Sisters 20+yo rum.
Wow, totally bonkers dreams - epic story of environmental damage, human trafficking, my old work and family drama all in one. It would be too much to write it out, but it could've been a mildly interesting story of how a lowly environmental consultant discovers a massive crime operation through the cunning scrutiny of plans and unexpected access to certain areas. And then has to try and keep these developments secret while her family is in town for a big reunion but maybe some of them are involved as well...
Okay whatever, time to get out of bed.
I did not, in fact, get out of bed and kept going back to sleep. I am pretty sure I've had plenty of sleep by now and this is just me heading towards a spiral of inactivity/depression. Somehow triggered by feelings of inadequacy/realising my mediocrity/decline in abilities from lack of engagement. Then deciding to get stuck in it because who am I doing any of this for? Ugh, I've been here enough times.
Anyway... tomorrow's a new day.
Listen. It's been shit weather and it's gonna be shit weather for a little bit longer. Hang in there. Wait for a bit of sunshine and see how you feel.
So much this. This unending wind is fraying all of our nerves. It looks like we'll get a short reprieve on Tuesday.
Blustery weather hasn't made been such a trigger in past years, I feel like this is a bit more than that. But let's see when the sun turns up next reliably 🫠 the forecast looks dire!
I've been thinking a bit about time travel today, and whilst I think overall travelling in time would be problematic (losing all narative structure to your life, requiring way too many tenses to keep track of and leading to constant jetlag) I think there are some things it could be really useful for.
Most useful would be the ability to transport objects in time - imagine getting home from work, putting a roast in the oven and setting it to start cooking 3 hours ago. Then making up an extra plate of food and transporting it to tomorrow's lunchtime so you can eat it freshly cooked and still hot. Food storage would also be revolutionised. Instead of trying to keep things fresh you just reach into the past to grab it when it actually was fresh! Leftovers would remain freshly cooked, you could have vine ripened summer tomatoes in the middle of winter and your milk would last however long you needed it to.
Interesting priority, I think I would use it to drastically change the course of my life in my younger years.
I don't believe in the theories that allow for changes, so if I went back with that intention I failed.
Just imagine the stock market reverberations, people travelling to get insider trading info to buy or sell shares
And competitive board games would become obsolete unless you vow to not travel to the future ( and what you describe is two way travel, to the past and back to the present , thus t the future is possible )
but I do love your ideas
All of those things end up in a Bill and Ted time travel showdown where they win and revolutionise the world with the power of their music. We will all be excellent and party on.
I'm in survival mode.
Lots of assignments to do and one of them is especially not going to plan. Have to change the whole thing and it's due on Friday. Not very growth mindset of me but I don't think I'm cut out for academia. Then there's the whole what do I even do with my useless degree thought spirals. Can't wait to be done with this degree at least. I'm so lucky I get to do a degree but I feel like I've taken it for granted.
you can do this 🙂👍
see it as a path to somewhere else 🙂 and you get skills for life you can use in many ways
Academia is so wild, it takes a certain kind of person to be successful in it. I'm certainly not cut out for it, few are.
Besides, you're still learning new things, the degree isn't a waste at all. I guarantee you've learned transferrable skills and knowledge useful for working in different industries, not just whatever your degree is in.
Whether you pass or fail or whatever the metric is, you still succeeded. You learnt new things, new people, new ideas, new ways of thinking and analysing.
Here's my cover song set so far:
Where did you sleep last night - leadbelly
little lion man - can't remember their name
Wicked game (I know it's over done but it's a fun one)
And that's it for now. Once I've practiced them this week I'll add 2 more.
Maybe wish you were here by Pink Floyd
I'd listen to these if you covered them.
I want to put in a request but will restrain myself 😂
it is once again that point of time when i have had enough sleep and i am hungry and i really should get up because i am about to enter a hungry-tired vicious cycle
My scotch bonnet is probably regretting having put out its baby new growth.
Manzano got pruned a bit earlier and has much larger leaves so I think it'll survive. Everything is parched though, dat vapour pressure gradient is sucking water out like no tomorrow
This weather, it's no longer so cold I have to wear a thick coat. Yay, I can throw out my stupid duffel coat which looks warmer than it actually is. I'll buy a new coat next winter.
Yay! But also we'll blame you when it drops to 2 degrees and sleet in a week or two.
Nick Cave....mate...I really really tried to like your new album, but I just don't think I'm that emo anymore. Oh maybe I never was - I always appreciated the need for a big angry guitar and howl to pull out of the misery.
Whilst I can appreciate his musical talent, Nick Cave has always seemed like a self absorbed twat to me. I dont like his vibe so I’m not really into the music.
Oh yeah he's always been a self absorbed twat - at one point in the late 80s/90s there was just the right mix of musos around in The Bad Seeds to make something of that - I liked the loud crashing angst of that era. But now he's kinda disappeared up his own arse again..