All this mother fucker does is sleep all day and get fat, too lazy to get up for just about anything. Then in the middle night he goes: "Yes I am a hunter of the savanna, just like a cheetah I also can run at 90 miles per hour!" and runs his ass all around the house. But because he's fat and uncoordinated he bumps into everything and because he's also an asshole he throws everything he can on the ground.
Then when he's tired and wants a place to sleep, he decides your fucking face is probably the best to get comfy.
Ugh the life of a cat owner.
Yup, first paragraph describes her perfectly. The second one describes my other cat, Siegfrieda the crosswords pro:
Bonus points: Kika meowing loudly because she "hunted" something and wants everyone to see it. Typically a pen, some leaf that fell off in the patio, or an empty cig pack (she thinks that the recyclables bin is a toy box).
Kika meowing loudly because she "hunted" something
Our 10yo Tabby has done this since the first day I adopted her. We found it so endearing we bought her a stuffed rat that's almost bigger than her own noggin.
In regards to sleep hygiene, that was arguably the worst decision we've ever made.
Still love the rascal to pieces!
Cat tax: 
