Confidence without arrogance. Being able to assert yourself without being a douche or feeling the need "one up" everyone. Fake alpha bullshit is a huge turnoff.
Talent and passion. An otherwise-average woman who can, for example, play an instrument or write or dance beautifully sort of immediately becomes a 10/10 for me.
I love people who love things I do as well. A couple examples from recent memory: I love black metal and I was wearing a hoodie from an obscure band and this guy recognized the logo. We had a long talk about music and that was definitely a huge turn on. I also really love when people geek out about stuff, and I met a guy who's a mechanical engineer and he was happy to talk about his job and all the things that go along with it.
I guess I'm just describing having a personality.
Being a nice person, caring for others and what you do really sparks my interest.
For me it's having a very distinct feature of some sort. I don't know why, but if she is very short or tall, or has a prosthetic limb or weirdly shaped boobs, or a nose like a racing yacht's keel, it just really does something for me. Like otherwise I generally find most of the same features as many people do attractive, but add that standout trait and whoah, be still, my heart.
As an appearance sort of thing...big hair. Natural big hair. Wavy, curly or full on afro.
Yay! I remember some guy on Reddit saying he would not date anyone with straight hair, he just was not into it. Only wavy, curly, or kinky hair did he find attractive. I can see the beauty in smooth flowing hair personally, but would not want it for myself, curly is livelier.
A woman wearing a thin choker, like a lace choker or a thin choker with a small pendant.
I'm not into BDSM, and I don't link this with the meaning of being collared. I just like the esthetics of this kind of necklace.
On the subject of contrasts: You show me four women and I'd pick the one who is apparently different, every time. Three blondes and a brunette? Three brunettes and a blonde? Three sundresses and shorts and t-shirt? I'll pick "the ___ one" every time.
Thunderstorms. I am not aroused by thunderstorms, but they're great fucking weather. I don't know if it's because it's cooler, if it's the background noise, the lighting, but my ideal sex scenario has a summer afternoon thunderstorm going on outside.
On the subject of contrasts: You show me four women and I’d pick the one who is apparently different, every time. Three blondes and a brunette? Three brunettes and a blonde? Three sundresses and shorts and t-shirt? I’ll pick “the ___ one” every time.
I wonder if you can run a small scientific test, where the same two women each take turns as the odd one out.
that's where all of my sexual attraction comes from! I don't really get people thirsting over a random pretty person being naked. But make that person dominant and caring and I'm down.
I particularly enjoy those traits in potential sexual partners:
Dominance, creativity, intelligence (if you're smarter than me I'm already on my knees), size difference is also good, confidence, assertiveness, caring, simply being a nice person to be around & being able to be emotionally vulnerable.
I mean, your wife could do someone male to provide that contrast, even more contrast, right? It wouldn't require her to be bi. I do also find contrast beautiful, like black hair and pale skin is so pretty and yes two different looking bodies entwined. I don't like when guys are huge and women tiny, or vice versa, though. Have always dated guys around my height.
I agree with both quiet non arrogant confidence, and competence, those are hot.
Both me and my husband are basically, eyes face, and for me bum, for him, boobs.
Nothing else for me I think, I like deep voices, but more so, I find high pitched and scratchy voices a turn off.
But then him, being outwitted. He is stupidly smart, he has a PhD and 2 Masters, and finds someone outwitting him or outsmarting him actually a turn on. It's weird. The odd times I do it, prove him wrong, he almost instantly jumps my bones, he can't control himself.
A proper face slap. Not facial abuse per se, just a nice solid front hand slap. Giving or recieving. It realy wakes you up.