Look man I just wanted to play an actual dragon
Meme based on this homebrew
Meme based on this homebrew
My only thought upon seeing this is what an overstimulated eight year old would rattle off the top of their head if you told them to make some wicked awesome homebrew that doesn't worry about any of that "balance" nonsense. Or actual rules at all really. It's just a bunch of words that someone overheard D&D players say mixed with attempts of sounding like a fast talking comedian.
Oh you must not have seen Vex's memes! I might not be as funny as them but I do my best; they're a Lancer (Mech RPG) memelord pretty well known for making memes about the game that were good enough to actually get a significant amount of players into it.
Here, check these out
Wow, that race is one of the more bloated pieces of kit I've read in a while, just from the point of view of empty word count.
Also, only available from level 10 on? Wyrmlings start at CR 1! That's what? Level 2 or 3?
The BattleZoo people have been focusing on playable dragons lately. They probably have something much less fussy and unwieldy than this.
If you have advice for how to reword it so that it's
-Easily comprehensible
-Does not have loopholes that rules lawyers will exploit
Then I'd be happy to correct any flaws you identify!
And you're not the first to bring up the Wyrmling point, however tying the power of a player character to their age is a terrible idea because that would make it exceedingly difficult to level up during a campaign.
Still the most glorious piece of homebrew I've ever laid my eyes on.
Still haven't been able to play it because life is a bitch.