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The sort of comeback so good you think of it later on and write a comic, wishing you'd said it at the time
I highly doubt the situation happened. Their insecurity manifested it and it was output into something that made them feel excused. In reality, no one outside of their own mind has thought or said this to them. At least not since junior school.
Just a bunch...
Someone told a mistruth on the Internet?! Surly this must be a first, we should do something about this post haste
Similar or same delusional nonsense happens every day. It's real. That's the point, but instead of empowering it's actually sad.
Nah dawg you're the only sad one here, on a post about a joke, acting like some kind of fucking weirdo.
nah, not really tho.
can't take it serious. why would the bf of a normal person want THAT, yuck. suspension of disbelief and all
Man, I thought Lemmy was supposed to be better than Reddit. These comments are proving me wrong.
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A platform is nothing but a reflection of its users and of humanity :) An empty canvas we can fill.
Most of the negative comments are from Lemmy.world users, which is the instance that recieves the bulk of the Reddit crowd before the users find a more fitting instance.
Lemmy.world tends to attract people from Reddit that are too ideological to stay, but want the same thing as Reddit without the enshittification, so they go to the largest generalist instance first. Over time, some leave for more specialized instances, like Beehaw, Lemmy.ml, programming.dev, or blahaj.zone, so that leaves .world usually with newer accounts, or people who just want Reddit 2 before it went to shit.
Not saying everyone from .world is bad, of course not, but what drives users to .world over more niche instances is usually coming straight from Reddit.
I joined Lemmy.ml because it looked like the largest generalist instance plus apparently ran by Lemmy developers. Here you list it as a specialist one. Well, I couldn't have known at the time. :D
It's a bit of both! It's an older instance, but it is focused on FOSS and Privacy. It isn't extremely specialized, of course, but it is not a pure generalist instance either.
Wait I am in this comment I left reddit and joined world then wanted to switch to a different one so just joined .ee arbitrarily. Is there a short reference somewhere of how these are all different from each other?
Here is a good spot to pick an Instance. You can stay with .ee if you want, but I recommend picking a new instance that fits what you personally prefer! You can also check what instances are federated with which other instances. For example, .world isn't federated with Lemmygrad or Hexbear, but .ml is federated with all 3, so you may wish to change your instance accordingly.
Where do I see who is federated with who? Couldn't find it from that link. Would def prefer one that is federated with a broad scope of others
You can find it in the server list at the bottom of the website. Lemm.ee is pretty broad, as are most of the top instances.
Defederation isn't a bad thing. .world isn't federated with Hexbear and Lemmygrad because .world doesn't like Marxist-Leninists, for example, so it can help keep an audience curated. Lemmy.ml liked Marxist-Leninists, so it is federated with them.
That's just incorrect. I'm a Marxist and to just fine here. Communist does not equal tankie, which Hexbear is full of.
What separates a "tankie" from a Marxist-Leninist? Is it just vibes? I got called a tankie for recommending a "leftist" to read Marx, specifically Critique of the Gotha Programme. Said leftist thought that the biggest factor of Capitalism is the employee-employer relationship, which is of course ridiculous, as that would mean feudalism is Capitalist, or even Market Socialism.
Since I get to see a lot of hexbear posts and comments as a lemmy.ml account, I can genuinely say that the biggest distinction between hexbear and lemmy.world, besides the fact that hexbear is explicitly leftist, is that hexbear users love to combat liberals and liberalism, often dogpiling on anti-communist takes, which .world sees as disruptive.
It’s not that .world doesn’t like Marxist-Leninists, it’s that Hexbear likes to doglike over everything and well you can tell a lot about Lemmygrad by its name.
Unfortunately you only get a good overview by being here a long time and paying a bit of attention to the seasonal drama. The biggest pointers, to my knowledge, would be that a lot of instances are defederated with lemmygrad and hexbear (but not all), because otherwise the bad faith campism and trolling gets unbearable, world is defederated with the piracy instance, and virtually every large server is defederated with "free speech absolutists" who let their instances fester with far right types.
Someone once posted a graphic showing how each instance leaned politically and I thought it was pretty useful. Some more important distinctions between them are censorship, many will censor bad words or content they find objectionable and I just couldn’t tolerate how dumb that was so I picked a fairly anarchist anything goes instance.
Yeah it’s a bummer. When I left twitter for mastodon there was a full 180° from the attitudes people had. Unfortunately it seems that the outrage/negativity algorithm has trained Redditors too well to break those bad habits.
It's usually the ones coming straight from Reddit into Lemmy.world, if you go to a less generalist instance it's usually a lot better.
.world is just Reddit 2, in terms of culture.
I just don't find obese women attractive, a little 胖乎乎的婴儿肥 is one thing, but not a serious health condition.
We all have our own attractions, that's fine. However, people don't have to meet our standards of beauty to exist and take part in society.
Okay, but let's stop the creeping cultural psychosis and acknowledge it as a massive health crisis that some people have a fetish for.
Oh yeah, absolutely. I’m not saying that obesity is good, but I also don’t think we can judge people for it. If someone is learning how to love themselves, who are we to stand in their way for it?
Maybe they need that self love to push them forward and lose that weight? Maybe not. Regardless I don’t think telling people how they should or shouldn’t dress will bring anyone any sort of good.
It’s that old saying “if you don’t have anything good to say, perhaps don’t say anything at all.”
So is posting on lemmy every hour. But you don't see people waving it in other's face, because it is none of your business.
It's to show playfulness and that the artist doesn't feel THAT strongly, imagine how cold the comic would be without it.
And then consider that women have been raised to be polite and apologetic to the point it is even a habit for most of us. I guess that's why I can't really see it as cringe even if I try.
The last panel just makes me feel like the artist went "haha wrecked them with that one". It's just... not for me
I've been in so many wholesome communities, I initially thought the first panel was a thinly veiled pickup line.
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Something about that just feels… kinda great, definitely sounds like something one should strive for.
Unhealthy food is big business. I would be surprised if fat acceptance was not astroturfed.
I thought the snowflakes stayed on reddit, but apparently me saying "Copium in comic" is too offensive for moderators.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I feel like these clothes are the prefect match for the body type on the right. There are many clothes that might not fit the person the the right (also many wouldn't fit the person on the left), but the ones in the comics are not these clothes.
"body type" has always been a general term to express the entire shape, size and proportions of a person, including excess weight and obesity.
When I was obese I couldn't pull off crop tops because of my body size, it was incredibly unflattering, and now that I'm a healthy weight I still can't pull off crop tops because of my body proportions, I have a short torso.
Body type encompasses both scenarios, so it's often thought of as a polite way to tell someone something is unflattering without singling out specific "flaws" in their body.
Until its only used for this because our society sucks and just becomes a euphemism, because we can't have nice things.
That makes a bit more sense. I was initially reminded of the various pseudo-scientific attempts to classify variations in human body shapes, which usually don't factor in great variations in body fat content. The way it's used in the image made me think this was an attempt to frame an unhealthy lifestyle as something inherent that can't be changed.
Even if I were to agree with this rather obvious trolling attempt.
...yes?
"Type" is a word used to categorize things by shared characteristics, in this context, characteristics shared by the human body?
No, like this: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitution_type
Even if I were to agree with this rather obvious trolling attempt.
Peak reddit conversation.
ah yes the Ayurveda, an excellent scientific take on the medical condition of the body, my back aches because my Adam's apple is haunted.
you: "is this type of body a body type?"
me: "yes, a type is a type"
you: "no, I meant something really specific" (provides a list of lists)
me: (looking at the list of lists): "this is pure nonsense"
I'm aware that any of the past attempts to classify body types are extremely pseudo-scientific and I've explained as much in a different comment in this thread. The point is that "body type" isn't just necessarily just a generic way to refer to someone's body shape. Plenty of people still believe in that made up nonsense.
Hey mods... Ever heard of free speech? People can have opinions... Let people decide by upvotes and down votes. Why the unnecessary censoring?
the censored comments are probably literal death threats against fat people or anyone who would dare support them 😬
The girl on the right is fucking hot. The comic is for girls that do not look like her but think they do 😂
I think all women are beautiful but if you can't live up to these strict standards, it's not the end of the world.
Can any ladies comment, are girls ever actually this bitchy to each other? This has to be a bit of hyperbole right?
ooh yeah I am a woman and thankfully I don't drink alcohol ever, and if I did I could see how my mouth would get very ascerbic. I have so many bitter, cutting, scathing opinions about people, and I learn to keep them to myself, but if I ever had alcohol, I'm pretty sure I would let it all go and probably would have been murdered in a bar a long time ago
Usually, they say it, but not directly to you. The attacking woman will tell another person in the group, and that person will usually tell the target woman what was said by the first woman just "because I thought you should know." Very, very rarely is it said directly.
I also have seen a lot of people pull the move of talking too loud about things they hate about the target woman on purpose so that the target woman hears it, but can't really confont the attacking woman because she "should mind her own business."
From what I hear it's usually more about back-handed compliments than outright insults, like "wow, you must have a lot of confidence in yourself to wear that, go you!"
I would have been that boyfriend. I always saw women like the right as more attractive and sexual than women like the left. It would infuriate a couple of my friends because I was a pretty boy who had the attention of women they found more appropriate, but I could never get them to understand that those women were like background extras to me in dating terms. It's not even something I willfully do, it just feels natural and correct to want a bbw vixen.
If you have a comeback this weak in the comic YOU drew, I don't want to imagine the amount of cringe your friends felt around you
Being fat is unhealthy, and generally seen as unattractive. It is preferable to share constructive feedback with overweight people to motivate them to improve themselves and be happier people. Fat acceptance is the opposite of compassion, because it makes it harder for overweight people to improve themselves by denying that they have a problem, which destroys their motivation to solve it.
Btw, this comic is trash.
Jeezum fuck you're gross. There is zero motivation to take care of a body you hate. It has been scientifically shown that shaming pepple does NOT make them lose weight but that doesnt matter to people who only want to feel superior to others.This is a comic about a chubby woman wearing clothes she feels good in and existing in society, and makes no comment about what she's doing to take care of her health. The only trash here is you. Fuck off, loser.
It's a caricature of "fatphobic person" bullying an overweight woman and a cringy made-up comeback. For an ideologue who shills fat acceptance propaganda there is no line between bullying and sincere advice, so in your warped mind anyone is a bully regardless of their intentions or how they speak. As long as they say anything negative about being overweight, they are a bad person. I didn't say anything controversial or disrespectful, yet I'm being called gross and a loser, which proves my point.
To address your straw man, nothing in what I said should cause an overweight woman to hate her body. The point is to not be content with being unhealthy. Many women who are fat could easily be more attractive if they lose weight. To convince these women that they should be content with where they are, and not work to be healthier and derive confidence from being more attractive is doing them a serious disservice.
She has confidence, but not the right kind, because she's not deriving it from being attractive to you. Your comment history reveals exactly how gross you are. I would rather be fat than be attractive to you.
You would be more attractive to women if you stopped being a disgusting, self-centered creep. I'd say you would be more confident, too, but you obviously have a glut of unearned confidence.
Since you're clearly thickheaded and don't have any better responses than throwing insults, I wont even bother addressing what you just said. But I'll be happy to tell you that I have no interest in women like you who are arrogant and rude.
I, too, like to go up to random people and verbally announce their flaws. It's compassionate, after all. These people need to be TOLD they're fuck ups, otherwise how else could they POSSIBLY know about their misgivings? I find that random advice as a stranger is usually not well received......it's super weird. I just helped them fix themselves!
Jesus Christ.
Bro, someone told me my neck was fucked up. Have been working on my posture ever since, its all based on if it's said in good faith.
You are being rude and insulting. It really makes me question how genuine your emotional tirade really is.
Let me make this very clear, in case it really wasn't. My reply was made in the context of OP's fat acceptance propaganda in a public forum, directed to no one single person. Likewise, me stating that it's preferable to give constructive advice, was primarily speaking of doing so in a public context. Secondarily, it meant you should do so in private too. But what does that mean? With whom should you have these conversations, and what would you say? I addressed none of these questions and left them unanswered for bevity. You decided to fill up that gap in the most uncharitable way possible. That's your problem.
Do you think telling fat people a) they're fat and b) being fat is unhealthy actually results in any positive behavior changes?
I would not tell them that they are "fat". In real life I would probably hint that they are actually an attractive person who got too overweight, and that they need to work on improving their health. Generally, to call an overweight person "fat" is rude, and unproductive. My goal would be to motivate said person to do things to get healthier, not bark at them like a moron because I think that they are overweight.
Out of actual curiosity about something that has been rolling around in my brain for years, do you think that fat people don't know they are fat?
No, that's why I said it's unproductive to call them fat. They most likely understand that they are overweight, so why should I use a word that might be hurtful?
I'm not socially inept. For some people I might not even say a thing, for others I may see a benefit in reminding them to do things like not forgetting to exercise etc. It depends on the person and the circumstance. The point is to be helpful, not to point out other people's flaws because I just noticed them.
Does that make sense?
It does, and I get where you're coming from. My concern is that it's very difficult to tell who might need a push and who might be destroyed by it. I know that at least personally, I come off like a person who might need to be reminded, but if someone said anything, I would be nice about the criticism to their face, but then would go home, binge eat uncontrollably and then would avoid seeing that person again and would basically never eat around them again.
But, as you say, you're not socially inept, so if you are careful, I'm sure it would be fine. Something that might be helpful for you is to separate beauty from health. You can't be fat and healthy, but you can be fat and beautiful. Beauty is subjective, and if people choose to look a certain way at the expense of their health, it's their right to choose that. A majority of people may prefer to have a partner with a low bmi, but not all. Health, on the other hand, is objective. We can statistically show that having a bmi in the range of 20-22 is the least likely to cause disease (I might be off by a number, but I don't have the info in front of me atm).
I know that for me, someone being concerned about my health and my longevity would come across as kind. Relating it to beauty would come across as cruel.
Thank you for an insightful comment.
I know that for me, someone being concerned about my health and my longevity would come across as kind. Relating it to beauty would come across as cruel.
Although it's an anecdote from yourself, I will still keep that in mind.
So you'd passively aggressively let them know you don't find them attractive and you think that'll somehow motivate them to be healthier? Is this something you've actually tried? How do people respond to you "hinting" that you think they're too fat?
I can tell you how I responded to someone doing that
I started walking more, tracking calories, and I'm working towards losing weight. I want to be a healthier, better person
I never said anyone should be passive aggressive, or that they must make their interaction with an overweight person about themselves. I'm not sure how you made this interpretation based on what I said.
How do you hint to someone you think they're too overweight without it being passive-aggressive?
The point isn't to tell said person that they are overweight, but to push them to self-improvement. In some cases you don't have to mention that said person is being overweight at all. But if it benefits the person to be reminded, then it can be done in a good faith manner. It matters what your intention is.
Curves are one thing. There's curvy, and then there's "curvy", you know what I mean?
Since you're a fan of constructive criticism, here is some for you:
You'd be more likeable if you learned to be more empathetic
How often do you prefer to share that constructive (in your eyes) feedback with people that you view to be less than perfect? Do you limit it to folk you view as overweight, or do you open it up to other topics as well?
How often do you prefer to share that constructive (in your eyes) feedback with people that you view to be less than perfect?
You are asking me to share an anecdote while being rude, and I also don't owe you an answer, soooo...
I find your first statement to be quite rude. I also find you wanting in your ability to back it up, as well. May you prove to be a better person in your future endeavors.
...so you think bullying fat people will somehow help them get better? yeah that's not how that works
Yes it does. As a fat person myself, if everyone around me told me I’m perfect as I was (120kg, really unhealthy with shitty endurance and eating habits) I would’ve never changed for the better and thought I was really great as is and would’ve probably developed worse conditions than those I was in.
Let me guess, as an average lemmy user the chances are pretty high you are a white male in early adulthood, probably living off a very concerning diet but not gaining weight because of some genetical inability to build up fat.
Like, thats me, but I am aware of it. People can get fat if they eat as much as I do, which is not even much. Get a hold of your privileges dude.
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People can get fat if they eat as much as I do
Then its up to those people to fucking get out of their asses and exercise. It's one thing to be fat because of a health issue like hypothyroidism, and a whole different thing to choose being fat. In either case, you can't really demand people to think an unhealthy, droopy and blobby body is beautiful, all you can ask is for people to not be rude about it.
Here's a very apt comparison: I suffer from hyperhidrosis, a condition which makes me sweat 100% of the time regarless of temperature. Which do you think more reasonable: that I wear deodorant, refresh myself and shower often; or that I demand people to live with and enjoy my body odour?
Diet is the major part of it, you don't burn a ton or calories through exercise to be honest. You need to be working from a deficit to get anywhere
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It's objectively more effective to exercise more than to eat less. There are countless studies on the subject.
Mind sending one? Way I've understood it, a calorie deficit is the major thing you need to lose fat consistently. Obviously don't overdo it, obviously exercise as well, and some things like protein are better than others. At the end of the day though, you work on a deficit and you'll lose fat, have an excess and you won't
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It's one thing to be fat because of a health
I'd argue it's a mental health issue.
Edit: I did not clearly represent my point. I meant that even overweight people without physical health issues are likely dealing with some unresolved mental health issues as well. And I say that sympathetically.
Hypothyroidism happens when the thyroid gland doesn't make enough thyroid hormone
yup, sounds very psychological to me
also like... a mental health issue is also a health issue?
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That's not what I meant. I understand what hypohyroidism is. I just meant overweight people without something physical like that are probably going through something mentally. Is that controversial?
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Yeah, I see how that could have been unclear, sorry. I wasn't intending to dispute the quoted portion, but to expand on it.
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I'm actually a 31 year old female living together with my bf and cat. I'm going to the gym about 2 to 3 times a week since a few months. My bmi at this moment is 24.1 which is still quite high but I'm getting there.
All I did was say fat. If that offended you, go to the gym.
BMI is kinda bogus, it doean't take into account muscle vs fat. At peak working out with small waist, but visible muscle mass my chart BMI was Obese
I agree about BMI often being a bad measurement. Even my own doctors ignore it on me because my BMI is well into the obese range and yet every other measurement of health is in the healthy range, most well into it. My body fat for instance is just below 30%, which is perfectly healthy for a woman. My waist line is well into healthy range as well. Additionally, all my tests such as blood tests come back more than healthy and show that I'm not at risk for any obesity related conditions. Of course, I don't look like the standard "healthy" body most people imagine a woman should have. I would look fat to anyone who doesn't know the full picture.
That's why I always hated that whole thing people say that "If you're BMI is high and you're still healthy it'll be really obvious." People just assume that high BMI and healthy means muscular, when you can have a normal body fat percentage as well as other measurements but still have a high BMI.
This is even ignoring the fact that even when you are genuinely obese and unhealthy, it often stems from body image issues in the first place. The same way a depressed person often goes "I'm doing everything wrong anyway so why bother even trying?" A fat person often is having the struggle of "I'm ugly anyway so why even bother trying to be pretty and healthy? Healthy just means I gotta live longer being ugly." That's why berating people for being fat usually doesn't work. It just makes them feel worse and reinforces that idea they already have that they're too ugly to bother. Sure, some people it might kick into gear to try their best to lose weight to prove they're not ugly, but that's the difference between somebody who still has hope and somebody that's already lost it all.
Yep agreed. I had a laugh when we got our Wii sports, and the weigh-in made my Mii fat, which didn't represent my shape. But a bad UX from Nintendo on that.
Haha okay sorry if that comment was mean. I am exactly that type of person I described
No, I'm getting fat. Slowly, and not very, but I need to start running again. Geneticals be damned.