That's why I always have an Archie comic or Uncle John's Bathroom Reader next to my toilets. I read enough random bottles growing up.
Or when we desperately hold in our shit until we find our phone lol "I need to shit! Where the fuck is it!?"
I have always kept a big tome of the great poems of western civilization in the bathroom for emergencies like this.
I have a rippleys believe it or not and a guiness book of world records, both from the 80s.