Lol I didn't wanna make it too dark or rain on people's parades but when your own mother has literally disowned you repeatedly and threatened to sue because you're telling people what she did to you as a kid and it's hurting her reputation stuff like this becomes funny in a kinda dark way
I meant more in a "yeah, I know what you mean" kind of way.
But that's about what I expected!!
Not a problem! I was glad to hear about it! I know it's the kind of thing that often you want to talk about, but aren't sure people want to hear about.
Glad it focused on "your kids." My ex found I was replaceable, particularly with the court ordered checks still coming in...
That's what I'm doing. I don't want to have kids. It works out so I can continue to enjoy working nights.
The difficult part is that I’m not working late by choice, but by obligation. I don’t want my family to remember me losing my job and any downstream effects from that.
Luckily there’s only a few weeks per year that are crunch time and require me to stay late.
I have met a lot of people that just hate their kids and hate their spouse and work as much as possible because home is hell
Bro, same! The cool holidays my dad took me on, didn't really make up for all the evenings I didn't see him. That was on top of only being at his place half the time. Money wasn't an issue, he was just a workaholic.
I worked at a company for just under ten years, the last four with pretty much constant crunch, putting in 12 to sometimes 18 hours daily as a SALARIED EMPLOYEE. My marriage was on the rocks and I finally had enough. Found a new job working no more than 40 hours a week for a promotion and far more pay. My reward for all that extra free work was my former company refusing to match salary and me not getting a shipping bonus for a product that had shipped before I left.
Don't be like me. Get out and find something more fulfilling.
This is just not actually true, though? I do remember my past coworkers and who was working late and checking emails on weekends. I'm not saying they should have been, but I for sure remember them doing it.
Yeah, this sentiment goes more towards people who think the boss will somehow appreciate them for it.
I absolutely remember coworkers that worked late and went above and beyond. The difference though is that some of them worked late because they were much slower than their peers while others worked late because they always willing to help during a crisis.
I didn’t have control over comp back then, but as soon as I landed a lucrative project and needed a few software engineers, the ones that went above and beyond were the first ones I called. I was able to 3x their previous salaries. The 3rd guy I managed to get 1.5x.
They are providing for their families very well now with house and car purchases. YMMV.
Nothing wrong with coasting if you are comfortable. For others working hard is a habit or necessity.
Yeah but kids will also remember and have the deepest appreciation for parents who put in overtime so they could afford to give their kids the best childhood possible
There’s just a difference of having money and working overtime and checking emails on the weekend and struggling to put food on the table and working overtime. This type of post assumes the parents have a choice, sometimes there isn’t if they want to keep their family fed
It was the bar instead of the office for my father. Then he decided to drunkenly beat the everliving fuck out of my mother in front of me, gifting me with lifelong PTSD and the inability to recall "happy" childhood memories (that one flasbulb memory is all that comes up). When he dies I want to go to his funeral to make sure they stick his ass good and deep in the ground. May see if they'll let me shovel some dirt in. Wish the fucker would have stayed at work.
You're also not replaceable for your friends. Don't work hard and play hard - just play hard. Your company will get rid of you as fast, if not faster, than they hired you.
I assume those that just try to make jokes about this doesn't have kids of their own or try to cover their own pain with sarcasm. The message is important and some people really need to hear it to save themselves from a lot of pain.
I had a lady get mad at me for making this point. Her argument was that some men find their value in providing and I shouldn't shame them for it. Like bro... Time with your family is also important.
No one is trying to shame someone out of finding a purpose, but the deafening propaganda machine has pumped us so full of denial that we need to make these simple points. I think things like this was taken as self evident 50 or so years ago, but today we have to fight to keep our sanity and hold on to what little dignity and hope we have left.
As I'm reading this comment, I'm slowly getting ready to go into work for some OT today lol
