Hey Ask Lemmy NSFW, what feature(s) do you find hottest in a potential partner?
I find it crazy hot and attractive, when person is comfortable with their body and sexuality. Looking at someone, who has fun expressing themselves freely and is enjoying themselves is so amazing!🩵
This might sound a little mundane but someone who smiles with their eyes. Smiling with no joy behind it is so sad, and in terms of a partner it's a turn off.
I'm really attracted to femininity, so mostly but not exclusively women
Internally? Emotional intelligence, self-awareness, empathy, willingness to try things and be uncomfy at first
Physically? Glasses, big ass and thighs, huge breasts, dark complexion, natural hair, braids/twists
Not into slim/skinny/hard/flat figures or shapes at all.
I'm into guys, I like fit, anywhere from skinny to padded is fine but in shape. A nose kinda big for their face is often attractive, I like scars too.
A guy who gets off on being dominant in bed is a big turn-on, and being kind to waiters, cashiers, cleaning people, homeless people - treating everyone as an equal out in the real world I find very attractive.
"You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him" -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I have to feel something for the person. That's #1. And by that I mean talk and a connection built on shared interests and values. I'll set aside personal preferences for how she looks if we hit it off as people. Honestly! How she looks matters less to me than how we click.
I've also been in vanilla relationships with women who knocked my socks off. I tend to like smart, self-assured, and driven. If I respect her, I'm gonna be interested. But I do like a kink dynamic. So that factors in too.
About faces and eyes, they're the most emotionally expressive parts of our bodies. You can learn so much about a person just from their expression in the moment. More even than just what they say, because if what they say is at odds with their expression... there might be some deception going on. So yeah, love faces.
I used to chase hotties in my youth and after a few tumultuous relationships with women chosen for their looks over compatibility, I kinda learned a valuable lesson the hard way. 🤪
Legs and ass. But if enthusiasm counts as a feature then definitely enthusiasm.
Honestly kindness and a good personality are the biggest ones for me! A nice face is next on the list. I prefer women who look like they take care of themselves. Not like a supermodel or an athlete or anything, just that they look like they try to stay active. I wouldn't say no to a nice rack but beyond that I'm pretty flexible about anything else lol
Haha, good call! Can't go wrong with a nice rack but a good personality is vital for sure. I can't imagine being close to a jerk, regardless of gender.
Unnecessary rudeness is probably the biggest turn off I can think of! You can tell a lot about a person just by how they treat restaurant staff lol
For physical attraction, it's hands and forearms for me, body shape itself can be anything, teddy bear to bean pole is fine (though I agree with others in saying a bodybuilder isn't my cup of tea). A well suited beard is also great.
Physicality aside there's got to be an emotional connection there first.. shared views/values and interests (or being willing to explore something new if it's a new interest for the other) are really important. Empathy and kindness are also vital, I don't have room for assholes in my life.
I have much more of an idea of my type in guys, muscular but not too muscular, the bodybuilder look turns me right off. I'm a sucker for a guy with a beard, and the guys I've dated have usually had longer hair.
With girls I'm still figuring things out, but one thing that really does it for me is a toned flat stomach and a cute little navel. I've also noticed that tattoos and piercings are a turn on, that whole punk vibe really does it for me!
Idk if it's because I hit puberty when scene girls were a thing, but the punk/alt style is so fucking hot. Tattoos, piercings, dyed hair, wallet chains, etc 😍😍 Like Hayley Williams checks every single box I have
Oh yeah, I'm on the same page with the dyed hair too, and you're dead on about Hayley Williams, she's gorgeous!
Like a full beard is crazy hot. Not a chinstrap beard, and not like full on wizard or anything
Omg yes, totally. Bodybuilders are a bit much for me too but if they're like, a bit muscular and a bit thick? And bearded? Ooh yes, wow.
I don't have a preference on gender, but I find some different things appealing from whichever.
Emotionally; For men confident, self-assured kindness is such a turn on, when you can tell someone is being kind because it's who they are and it's just low-key part of their ethos for living. It's something I like in all genders, but when a guy especially is that way it just makes my insides turn to jelly and I'd gladly do whatever it takes to please him.
For women I tend to be attracted to funny, animated ones, or just well-humored and open in general. Women who are fearless with their vulnerability make me want to be the same. It feels nice to go somewhere soft, warm and safe together.
Physically; strong, lean forearms and hands in men is probably near the top of the list. It tends to be something you see with people who do a lot of carpentry, all that twisting and squeezing work they do.
In women it gets harder to pick just a few, women come in such varied, beautiful, unique types. I guess a pretty face is up there, but there's a lot of beauty in unconventional looking women too. I guess I'd never turn down some thick thighs though.