I forgot to post after my return post but I'm here, I've got all good news, I started a polymer clay jewellery business - I haven't had any sales yet but I'll get there eventually. I'm also really enjoying/experiencing the benefits of ADHD medication, it's wonderful having a clear brain for a good chunk of the day.
Trying to stay positive today...!
My ex-girlfriend's name just popped up as a recent chat in Facebook Messenger. A name which hasn't appeared on my phone for 8 years.
Turns out some old friends who have broken up have decided to leave some old group chats we all had together which I archived many years ago, which made them pop up again to inform me that they left the group. That means conversely, my name must have just popped up on my ex's Facebook Messenger too.
Fun times.
I might be weird, but I think all my relationships ended on friendly enough terms. I'm not in contact with any of my exes, but I'd be fine enough to chat with any of them if something like this happened and they said 'hi'.
I don't hold negative feelings for any of them, but it seems that's uncommon.
The idea that one must loath exes is weird. I’m mostly indifferent to mine. On the other hand not long ago my partner and I attended the wedding of his ex to his best mate that she left him for. I totally get how not everyone would be ok with that particular kettle of fish.
Not even 9 am and already three separate people got on my nerves. Haven't even left the house yet.
They are not.
So far it's been one neighbour, one co-worker and one work related person.
Teams' status set to Do No Disturb. Got some actual work to do, but mostly I'm buys applying for other jobs 😁
Feeling really low today. The last month has been really tough, leaving Venice, the first city where I made great friends and felt like I belonged. Then, right before Christmas, I lost my beloved Nonna. I have been so busy I have just been pushing through and not thinking about it, but I feel it today. At least the PhD work today is funnish finishing off the speech and PowerPoint for a conference next week, I always enjoy making powerpoints.
Do you think you'll head back to Venice in the near future? It sounds like you'd love to go back and stay for a while. If you're under 30 maybe you could go on a working holiday visa.
In the midst of my citizenship application (it was actually approved, but nonna dying means I need to resubmit the documents), I am doing everything I can to be able to go back permanently it's where I want to spend the rest of my life. Just difficult cause there is only one Uni there, so academic work is limited, so I need to really get in the good books with that one uni lol.
I totally forgot you had citizenship by descent as an option. Well it sounds like you're on your way there and ticking all the right boxes - that's got to be something very exciting to look forward to once you've finished your PhD! Would you be trying to take the cats over?
Work sent me home after having a spew in their toilet lol. Had an interesting convo with my DiDi driver: he's from Delhi, and his family owned a "massage" shop that they wanted him to run. Instead he moved here and is happy with his job, his girlfriend, and his life. He spoke about the main difference between India and Aus is that there is more freedom to do what you want to here. Made me feel quite lucky and humble to be born here, and not have a family like that. And I love that he is happy here.
Anyway, I'm home now, dying on the couch slowly but surely lol
Not dead, just had a nap. My own puss would be most upset if I passed away, so I think he is also grateful that I am still here to feed the lil dude.
I hope my state of living pleases yourself and CatfishCat 🥰💜
Oh no, you're definately not in good sorts today.
Please rest well and feel better.
Are you experiencing any other symptoms?
Ground my teeth again but forcing myself to go to work. I must remember how grateful I am to be gainfully employed, I just wish my head and jaw didn't hurt so damn much. Having a little weep at the train station, ugh.
The kitchen is immaculately clean. Time to buy dinner so it can stay clean for at least a few hours.
Me: * hunts for glasses *
Sams: * screams for snuggles *
Me: Dammit, cat, I am trying to find my fucking glasses.
Sams: * wanders over and nonchalantly pokes them *
Me: * snuggles Sammi within an inch of her life *
MEEEEEE! although the sceptic in me tells me they're less sour than when I was a kiddo... sourflation.
oh no noono I promise you these are just as good they are absolute perfection
and here's a source. Pun unintended.
no lie, there's a source near my hairdresser and without a single jot or tittle of shame when I go for a haircut I will straight up load up a massive onya bag full of worms and bring them home whereupon my husband and i feast for dayyyyyys.
Being an adult means I can eat as many fucking sour gummy worms as I want
you know research has shown that topical application of 3% citric acid is beneficial to mouth ulcers. Load up!
Fuck that but plain salt on it. Hurts like a mother fucker but after a few min it does dull the pain of the ulcer for a little while until you can apply some bonjella.
Think I need to find a new psych, but having been rejected by one before 15 years ago, I don’t want to put myself up for that hurt again. Yeah I’m complex. (ASD, cptsd from childhood, anxiety etc). Seems too hard to get help…,
Urgh. Last time I attempted to get help nobody would understand that making telephone calls was one of the things that were impossible right then.
I feel this so hard; cptsd and depression, possible ADHD. The things stopping me are 1) I don't want to talk about all the hurt I am in and why again, and 2) cost. So exxy, so little rebate.
I wish you well and a good luck in finding a psych you gel well with! Be kind to yourself and take it easy, it's gonna be okay!
The meds have settled. Last night was hard to sleep but tonight is much better.
I put everything on hold while I've been adjusting and now it's time to live again with these new chemical "enhancements".
I wonder what it'll be like.
Observations for today:
I really dislike clothes with brand names all over; gives me serious ick about the person. Like, stop paying to advertise a company that doesn't give one shit about you (general "you", not you you lol)
Agreed and they haven't thought put anything into the design. They've gone some idiot will buy this if we slap our logo on it.
I understand why poorer people buy name brand name clothes.
They can't take the risk that something they buy will be crappy as they can't buy again. So they buy brand names where they know what quality they are getting.
They do the same for food too.
I'm very sus about that Saturday forecast too, but I'll be planning to have a quiet day at home with the AC nevertheless.
As for body washes - people are asking to be ripped off buying them at RRP at Colesworths. Either go to Chemist Warehouse/Big W or wait for the inevitable 50% off. Or if you don't mind grey imports, go to The Reject Shop.
Like we all know Colesworth is a rip off but when I saw that price tag I thought it was particularly egregious.
Could be a good weekend to plan for a doona, blanket and rug wash marathon. Possibly go through the linen cupboard and give EVERYTHING a wash & do a general audit thereof. Then donate the unused and unnecessary items.
Re clothing with brand names - do band t-shirts count as such?
A band tshirt not as bad. There's usually some effort of design involved and most bands aren't multinational corporations. They actually produce something meaningful.
if you have any of those old ugly dancing bear tees that no one wants and which are very unwanted and unfashionable I would take them off your hands but only if you ask nicely
pain is tiring, sleep elusive
first time in my life I fear getting old
on a super positive note other than my back and a little fat I'm really physically healthy,
Kidcalhoon1 got her expander out today. First time she's smiled after a visit to the ortho. Feels good man.
Accidentally napped for over 3 hours. Woke and remembered the washing I put on at lunch time was still in the machine. Not covering myself in glory today.
Breakfast 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋
Apologies. Chef overslept.
That'll teach me to check my roster first thing - I got dressed for work, opened the app and realised that I don't have any clients today - my normal Tuesday morning is now Wednesday, at least for this week.
At least when I phoned the office to double check the receptionist and I had a good laugh together.