I recently got a $200 speeding ticket. It was well deserved. My partner gave me a hug, said do better. He has no idea what I really need.
What if you never get the structure you need because you couldn't speak the truth?
I am the definition of a gentle, caring man. People comment about this. I treated my partner with kid gloves because we both thought that was what she needed. Then she expressed a desire for light BDSM after reading some particularly awful erotica turned her on unexpectedly.
Now she does what I demand in bed, submits to my will outside the bedroom when I deem it best for her, and receives regular maintenance. She had never thought I was capable of this. I had never ventured into this territory because she gave no indication that she wanted it.
If you love each other, then a discussion should be beneficial. If he loves you, he will hear you out and express his feelings on the topic. Many of us are gentle because that is what we believe our partners need. Our goal is to meet their needs, and we cannot do that if they do not express them.
Seriously. There's a fine line between discipline and abuse and it's drawn with communication. A partner isn't going use corporal discipline on you unless you are both in agreement that it's okay.