For me: I had a moment today where all I could think about was that meme which went around a few years ago that was along the lines of ...
You wake up. You're still a lizard sunning on a red rock. It was all a dream. The concept of selling feet pics to pay back student loans is already losing its meaning as you open and lick your own eyeballs to moisten them. Time to eat a bug.
I've been thinking of quitting my current job.
It's got good working conditions, but a lot of the people I work with are so massively incompetent and don't give a shit that it makes working here miserable.
The holidays just made me realize how utterly miserable I am. So I've updated my resume and I've started applying somewhere else.
I come in today, and there's like a hundred fires and everyone's running around like headless chickens.
I can't wait to get the fuck out of here.
I don't really do New Years Resolutions, but holy shit my goal for 2024 is to get a new job.
/rant
Sounds like good cultural or social working conditions with people who generally get along. This plus leadership who don't want to upset the so-called flow or hurt someone's feelings = Many small issues that escalate and essentially merge into a larger fire. Sprinkle in a few people with the knowledge to fix things, and who were told more than once to not step over some imaginary line, and you have the sideliners facepalming while casually scrolling LinkedIn and Indeed in their spare time on the company's toilet.
Most good teams can run themselves 95% of the time. The last 5% is where decisions requiring someone senior comes in. Senior being unfortunately some manager or exec that happens to have a stronger title.
BUT, in fairness, there are also many excellent managers and executives. We just don't often hear about them.
You've basically nailed it for the most part, yeah (down to the LinkedIn/Indeed scrolling on my spare time).
Like, I get great working conditions. I don't hate the job itself. The people I work with just make my life absolutely miserable. Doesn't help that the business has the "more years of experience = more qualified for leadership" mentality, and half the people above me are completely clueless about the most basic shit needed for work.
I genuinely think I'd stick around if it wasn't for the people in my team, but management seems determined to keep me with the current one, no matter how many times I ask. Their desire to keep on that team is the thing that's making me leave.
The Peter Priciple is a nefarious little middle and upper management goblin. While I don't expect bosses to have all the answers, I do expect them to be competent in basic leadership and promoting a strong team work structure. The easiest way to do this is by building cohesion through a team that self-sustains and works through issues without necessarily bringing in a manager, and through strong compensation - not just in salary, at all levels.
Your values aren't being met and your leadership team has eroded your trust in them. Even from this short interaction I can tell what at least two of those values are. So there's no way I could blame you for wanting to move on. Here's hoping you land somewhere awesome when the time comes!
You've got the right attitude. I've spent years hanging around in the wrong places. I've never ever ever regretted leaving a job, but I always wonder if I will.
Ours was the opposite. The whole family had a crazy cold the 2nd week of December. And my kindergartener (virus vector, for short, we love him), recovered in time for the last week of school before vacation. But he was in school until the Friday before Xmas and then went back yesterday. So we reached around trying to get all the things we normally do in 1-1/2 weeks, in about 5 days.
Soooooo I'm guessing you aren't feeling refreshed? 🙃
Hope everyone is healthy and you get some quality downtime too!
Holidays and weekends for me now I have kids are way more exhausting than work. More enjoyable, but jesus fuck I dont get a break. At least at work the expectations on me are clear and I get to take breaks where nobody bothers me.
My son has finally learned to get himself some breakfast on weekends (just turned 6). It’s made Saturday mornings just that tiny bit more relaxing, until ski season started anyway.
I would have been more relaxed if I just had two regular weekends with nothing to do rather than having had three extra days off that were spent traveling and going to see our families...
The last meeting I had before my break was with an aggressively toxic team. It left me stressed through the holidays.
My boyfriend had to work Christmas and New Years which left me alone a lot of my time off.
Today I was supposed to go back to work and I just couldn't. I called in sick and had a mini-breakdown with my boyfriend.
Something needs to change for me but I'm not sure what. My stress levels are unmanageable. I keep feeling like I'm putting off living a happy, healthy, life until I can retire.
Something needs to change for me but I’m not sure what. My stress levels are unmanageable. I keep feeling like I’m putting off living a happy, healthy, life until I can retire.
The tragedy is, this is not abnormal anymore. Especially not in the U.S.
True. And I recognize that I have a lot more to be grateful for than most. Today just hit me a lot harder than usual.
I had a laughing fit as I walked towards my front door this morning.
It's so absurd, I laughed. But there was nothing funny.
You absolutely deserve to feel that way no matter your gratitude. I was not trying to criticize you and I'm sorry if I came off that way. It's a tragedy because a lot of people are pretty entitled to feel like that. Including plenty of people who used to be considered middle class.
Easier said than done, but what needs to change is your job, or so it seems. Everybody doesn’t need to love their job, but hating what you do 8+ hours a day is a sure path to a misarable existence. I’m also not overjoyed to be back to work, but I’m fine with it, and it always gets better after a few days, as I catch the flow again.
Btw also make sure your health is fine, I had a friend who couldn’t get out of bed some days, and turns out she had an undiagnosed medical issue, and now got better with medication.
Edit: also, I’m a leader with an international career, so if you have some general “corporate-y” questions I’m happy to give some unbiased steering.
Thank you for the suggestions. I agree, and so does my boyfriend, that my job ultimately needs to change.
I'm in a weird state with my things because I'm one of those software engineers who has been pushed into management because it turns out I'm good at managing. And the product we are trying to launch is something I'm passionate about. I'm also fairly well compensated. On paper this should be a great situation.
But I am constantly having to deal with a chaotic, but well-meaning, person at the top, and other teams with extreme political agendas that make even talking with them nothing but stress. I had three bystanders in the meeting I mentioned reach out and apologize to me for not standing up to the "ambush" (one of their words, but appropriate).
And the biggest issue for me is the compensation and management side of things. I have no idea how to get hired as a manager because I spent all of my interviews in the past as a software engineer. And my software engineer skills have basically disappeared over the last 4+ years of managing.
So I expect that any exit from here would be accompanied by a significant pay cut. The big names in my field all have had mass layoffs, as have tangential fields that I'm qualified for.
I also have a mortgage on a condo that I love. I bought it months before the pandemic hit and unfortunately it's in a neighborhood hit particularly hard by tech flight. Coupled with bad interest rates, I'd be lucky to be able to sell for hundreds of thousand less than I paid for my place. And then wouldn't be able to afford a new one with today's rates.
So I keep pushing forward to my next stock grant despite the stress without an exit strategy. I have golden handcuffs on.
My current thought is to struggle through a couple more years, saving up as much as possible, and quitting to start my own indie games studio. Not the smartest of financial choices but it would at least be a path that let's me pursue passion projects, re-up my technical skills, and wouldn't be too terrible on my resume.
And the biggest issue for me is the compensation and management side of things. I have no idea how to get hired as a manager because I spent all of my interviews in the past as a software engineer. And my software engineer skills have basically disappeared over the last 4+ years of managing.
Honestly, you should just apply for the position and see if you get through the interview (you don't need to quit your current job before accepting interviews). A few of my friends at work basically went from software developers into management. A lot of places actually look for ex-devs for their management because the experience carries over.
I'm in a similar position right now where the dev team I'm working in is making me absolutely miserable, and I just brushed-up the resume and started looking for another job.
Hope you pull through! Toxic teams really suck!
Thanks! Good luck to you as well.
It may be that I've been dealing with this toxicity on and off for 8 years now and in my head everyone else is just as bad. All my exit strategies I come up with involve leaving the industry or going it alone.
I second the "just apply for management jobs". I'd kill for quality devs who are interested in management. It's easier to teach a dev business than to teach an MBA how to code.
While it's not a one way street, it's easier to get devs in the sweet spot than the other way around. The sweet spot being that confluence of business and tech.
See you already received some great advice. Agree, just brush up the resume and start applying. Tech is tough now, but should be temprorary, and anyway just start applying and see how they respond to your current or higher salary demend.
One important thing: from management and upwards, it’s always very political, this will not be radically different in any organization - if you want this path, you have to learn to navigate it. And if you e.g. start your own firm with 2 people, than you will have to deal with politics on your client’s side, with your publisher, industry regulator, etc.
I understand that when in a situation, it’s hard to realize, but you’re not in a terrible position based on the things you mentioned, and you can earn great money with the experience you already have at your current and other firms. If you think about switching, than just shop around with your CV, and see what is out there - it could easily happen that other places can offer the same money for less stress, or maybe after seeing how everyone would pay you 20% less you decide to stay. You will never know until you look around.
Absolutely quit that job. It's not worth the damage it's causing to you. If you can't just up and leave, spend your downtime and free time on the hunt and just bounce when you get a new gig.
Your happiness has value, and if this company isn't contributing to that value, they're not giving you enough.
I keep feeling like I’m putting off living a happy, healthy, life until I can retire.
Yeah that resonates with me too
Sounds like an awful place to work. What field you in? Do you know of any better places to work out there?
You couldn't go and spend time with your mates on New Year's Eve at least? Surely it's just a case of joining a party?
It was a consideration, but my friends all went to a dance party where they did a bunch of molly and had fun sexual adventures. I'm in recovery so it would have been not the safest night for me to join.
My boyfriend made an effort and got home just before midnight so we could spend it watching fireworks on the roof of my building. That part was lovely but the rest of the day was a bit lonely.
Depends on the job. I've had some jobs where I always felt like a slave and lost the will to live. And finally after years of shit jobs after shit jobs, I got this current job. It is a drop from heavens and I'll never let it go until I retire.
Anything you like. Shovel shit, make excel sheets, jerk off horses, kill people. Doesn't matter. Whatever floods dopamine into your head while lowering cortisol. Hopefully it's not that latter.
I'm so sorry, I don't know why I didn't say it. lmao I'm a programmer and I work from home amongst my wife and kids <3. I have had shit jobs the entire 14 years I've been in the US until 2021 where I got this job.
Salute to all the service industry workers who had to smile through the "oh you poor thing, they're making you work on Christmas" from the people who insisted on using the service on Christmas. If they're really lucky they might even get a few Christian extremist customers who berates them for working on Christmas because that's a sin and they're going to hell.
Friendly reminder the "service industry" includes the overwhelming majority of white-collar jobs in the US.
A financial advisor works in the service industry.
When we say the US has shifted to a "service economy," it's not a reference to retail workers, but to services like banking, data management, etc
customers who berates them for working on Christmas because that’s a sin and they’re going to hell.
The irony here is that working retail on xmas, putting up with customers like this, probably feels like hell all on its own.
I'm not religious, but I've always "understood" hell to be a state of being, a place you currently exist in if you don't follow the teachings that were meant to order society and tell people what behavior is acceptable and what isn't. That if we all act like selfish assholes then we'll "go to hell" as in that's the world we're creating.
So yeah, those extremist religious nutters literally create hell on earth.
Got a great job - pays well enough, no employees or middle management to worry about. I’m in the middle of two weeks off and it took me about 6 days to reach “what day is it?” status. I still don’t want to go back. I’m just done. Covid rush about did me in.
Damn I'm regretting not taking 2 weeks. I just took the 1, but then have actually ended up really enjoying the holidays for once. Work starts in 14m for me now. Oh well, it's going to be really lazy as people trickle back in at least
That’s the one good thing about normal white collar over-the-holiday weeks - there’s rarely a panic so things are a little more laid back.
For my 50th birthday I took a month off and pre-scheduled nothing to do. It. Was. Glorious. Of course, I didn’t get paid, but it was a fair birthday present value / trade.
I did virtually nothing during the holidays, and it was great. My first 30 minutes back to work with was a zoom meeting, and I'm already dreading the work.
Years ago, I quit my job that I had had for five years the day after I got back from my honeymoon. Basically, I looked around after a very rare vacation and I realized that I could do more with my life.
I feel like a bit of a shill, and wish I was doing something more meaningful, but I do miss working after a while.
The thing is at Christmas everyone feels the same way so at least in an office, you have the luxury of most work being done at a snails pace. My big problem this year was that I booked my holidays ending with the family stuff and that was a bad idea. I needed that week holiday after being with family all week
Yeah, I like my job so that’s probably part of it, but also doing something rewarding really helps.
I've been in both circumstances. Where I wish I could just quit and keep playing around at home and where I'm just twiddling my thumbs or worn out from home and can't wait to go back to work.
We were there with you. Then the MIL stopped by. Now work is blessed freedom away from her. Please send relief. Or arsenic.
Holidays are just me working on myself. Sometimes that's more exhausting that normal work and I look forward to getting back to my job.
I am often eager to get back to work because any time off is just working a different job, that is often more stressful. My family is as or more demanding than my job is, and, when we are away from home, doubly so. My wife gets easily stressed out, my four-year-old is an excellent reasons to get stressed out, and my nine-year-old... is actually pretty great. I would love to have a vacation with just her and me. Or better yet, just me.
But by the time I'm going back to work, I am desperate to go back to work.
Tried to plan my PTO days to where I had 4 day weekends and 3 days weeks for a few weeks during the holidays.
This week is another short week but damn am I unmotivated to do anything.
Briefly had an option at an old job where we could flex our time throughout the week.
Boys and I could cover for each other's duties, so we arranged out where we each worked 10 hours a day and alternated having opposite Mondays and Fridays off.
It worked out that every 2 weeks we had 4-day weekends without burning any vacation time.
And with the horrid commute I had every day, leaving 2 hours early meant that I beat the traffic, which message I effectively only worked 1 extra hour and got way more time off.
But then I got a job offer for my current position I just couldn't turn down. I work more, but the money is way better.
