Soul crushing.
Worked at a place for 16 years, made many close friends there, helped the company grow from a $2M company into a $2B company. Then one day they decided that it looked like they might not be add profitable in the coming quarter so they needed to cut 20% of the company. I was my family's sole provider and now wasn't sure how we were going to survive. I did get a nice severance of 6 months pay, but only 3 months of COBRA coverage. I was very fortunate to find a better paying job a little over 3 months later. Financially it was a good thing for us, but mentally I'm pretty fucked up now. I've never had anxiety issues but now I'm on 2 different medications for it. I'm depressed. I hate my new job and coworkers. I have no joy in work. I know if I get laid off again that I won't get nearly as good of a severance package. I realize that my lifestyle only exists as long as my employer chooses to keep me employed. I feel like I not only have no safety net, but if I fall I take my family with me. It sucks.
I've been there. Posted my story, but I didn't talk about the lifelong anxiety that comes with a lengthy layoff. Continually pursued higher pay at shittier jobs to try to get ahead of things for when the rug gets pulled out from under me again. It's corrosive. Losing income and insurance when everyone is counting on you to provide makes you feel like your self-worth is completely tied to your job and ability to provide.
It is amazing that. You pour your life and soul into something, taking pride in seeing your work flourish... only for them to slap you in the face like that whilst making it clear that despite the "we're a family, so please do your best" rhetoric, it does not extend both ways.
And for what? Because their share price wasn't going up as much as they wanted, despite the company being profitable for decades? I'm sick of shareholders wants hollowing out the hard work that loyal employees generated for them
The system doesn’t care if sociopaths exploit it; there is no empathy line item in capitalism.
Same for me, but 13 years. No one mentions the shame and isolation. I felt like a disease that no one wanted to be around.
If I ran into any old colleagues, it was clear they pitied me. The ones that did stay in contact just wanted the "gossip" (there was none), or wanted confirmation that I was somehow to blame so they could be comforted in knowing it won't happen to them.
I "didn't do anything to deserve this", but it's hard not to take it personally. The ruminating -- trying to understand "why me, and not someone else" -- hasn't stopped.
The betrayal and shame is overwhelming.
Your comment has made me understand this better than anything I've previously read has. Thanks for sharing your perspective.