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Icon by @Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de
Same thing happened to me! I did not come to terms with it though, it definitely changed my mentality in a bad way for a while.
It kind of helps that I've always had a kind of disconnect with the concept of death. I don't know if this is like an autism thing or what, but dealing with loss seems to affect me less than other people I know.
I'm still sorry to hear that fucked you up though, hope you bounced back