Hello! This may be very off topic, so feel free to remove! I wanna find more queer friends or even partners... and i dont really know where to look lol

Meeting queer people irl is not really possible for me rn and what would prolly be the go-to places to look for peeps online - reddit and discord, are borderline spyware

I suppose by its nature, this post already kinda acts as an advert, so hi my very real name is CocaineShark and I'm a (learning) ML and a linux n' art nerd, 19 they/she

I'm brewing up ideas for a manga that incorporates trans stuff.

I want to add them at some point without resorting to stereotypes so I need some discussion regarding this here.

Since my family doctor appointment two days ago, I've been really angry.

I live in Canada and to have HRT in my province you need dysphoria. I'm in my thirties and they require me to see a psychologist to diagnose me with dysphoria. I do have dysphoria but it is not as strong as most other MTFs. And I'm not that feminine, I'm more tomboyish. For example I love wearing a beanie in winter and a baseball cap during summer. I don't want to have to suffer through all the trouble of seeing a psychologist for HRT. I feel like I should be able to make my own decisions about my body. I just want to access the treatment I need without jumping through hoops. It's already hard enough to come to terms with my gender identity. I don't want to have to go through an additional process of talking to a psychologist and being judged by them.

I'm afraid they won't let me have HRT because I'm a tomboy. It's not fair to have to justify my identity and gender expression to someone who doesn't understand what I'm struggling with. As a tomboy, I'm worried that I won't be accepted as a transgender woman, and that my gender expression won't be taken seriously.

I'm scared that I won't be given the medical care I need, and have to prove my identity to receive it. I want to be able to access HRT without having to prove who I am. I want to be respected and accepted for who I am, without having to explain myself... And I'm sure they'll use my schizophrenia against me.

As someone diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'm worried that it will be used against me in terms of accessing medical care and being accepted as a transgender woman. People may not take my gender expression seriously, or may use my mental health diagnosis to invalidate my identity.

I hate this planet...I hate my life

I have been on HRT for 2 years and my face is pretty angular and masculine. My nose does not help and my browbone. I have been wanting FFS but it is so expensive.

I have been thinking about going with Dr. Bryan Rolfes at Omni Cosmetic. They accept my insurance it is one of the reasons I am going with him.

Has anyone had FFS with him? I am hoping someone knows how much it was for him? I just have so many bills but FFS is the only thing that will help me present as a woman.

I got a letter that I'm registered for military service, it's 12 months, I will be accepted in the medical exams and there's no way to avoid it, I don't fear dying in a war since what our military basically does is training and planting trees. I can choose the age that I serve in between 19 and 25.

Service will obviously make it impossible to affirm? or how it's called, yk uniforms and military codes, not really something that i find myself in.

So, I am wondering if anyone here has a similar experience and can provide with some tips or anything.

Also, would it be better to do it early or late? If I do it early I'll be worked like a donkey, but I'll be given more freedom earlier. Or should I do it late which will give me a higher rank instantly (it's based on the college degree not age) and I'll just sit in an office for 12 months, but I'll finish it late and I have the risk of dropping out in college and being dragged into service earlier and possibly falling into a depression mental state with a fully loaded Chinese AK..