This is a reminder to follow rule three. Rule three says not to post negative news articles without a call to action or way to help.

Firstly, these posts attract the wrong kind of crowd. It tends to get into insult and negativity territory real fast. They get a lot more engagement from outsiders, and that leaves more chance for shitty things to be thrown at members of our community.

Secondly, these posts affect trans people's mental health negatively. If there's nothing we can do to help, it makes no sense to constantly consume media like that. It makes life feel hopeless. Digital self-harm is real and a problem for many of us.

There are many places to consume this media, and frankly it is rather hard to avoid in online trans spaces. This community is not the place to post them.

If your post is found to violate rule three, it will be removed.

Before you post a news article, think "How would this make other trans people feel? Does it promote anger, hopelessness, or negative reactions? Does it have a way to change this situation for the better?"

First and foremost, this is a community to support, love, and provide resources for trans people. Anything that puts that in jeopardy will be removed.

This isn't to say cis people aren't welcome on here, but that most posts and discussions were made with primarily trans people in mind. It's okay to ask respectful, good-faith questions and to be genuinely curious about trans people. To be a good ally, you must listen with open ears and be willing to accept it when you're wrong. Remember that you are a guest here, and as such be respectful and kind towards the trans people whose home this is.

What this community is not:

1. This is not a place to be a transmedicalist and gatekeep being trans. Trying to divide up the trans community to be against each other is a way to weaken us as a whole.

2. This is not a place to "debate" being trans or trans people. Our existence and right to be ourselves is a given.

3. This is not a place to be a TERF. You are not welcome here and will be permabanned for spouting TERF rhetoric.

4. This is not a place to be a jerk and spread negativity. Don't say mean things or insult others, trans or not.

Go to any post on any "relationship advice" community and you'll see people drawing up lines, saying you are the villain or your spouse is the villain. "hit the lawyer, facebook up, delete the gym." Most of the time that isn't helpful, people ask for relationship help because they want help with their relationship, they don't want to end it. Oh sure some people are just looking for a reason to get out of an unhealthy relationship, but why are people so quick to vilify? Divisiveness is not going to solve a relationship problem. I feel like I shouldn't have to start every one of my posts with this kind of disclaimer, but if you look through my post history you'll find me fighting for my wife again and again. She is not the problem, she is part of the solution. My number one goal is to preserve this relationship, fully transitioning comes second to that.

It's not just you all, I see this everywhere. I pointed it out to my wife and now she sees it everywhere. I came out at church and now I'm the villain there, how dare I do this to my wife and kids. Why can't I just "man up" and be what's expected of me?

And when I come out as Christian to my trans friends, my wife is the villain, how dare she hold you back, how dare she not fully embrace her bi nature, insert bi erasure rhetoric here.

Usually I would follow up this kind of caveat with the problem that needs addressed, but in this case, this IS the problem that needs addressed. Constantly having to fight for each other in opposing circles is exhausting, especially when we are asking for help. I don't want to hear "oh your priorities are fucked, transition first then worry about your wife". I'm so tired of asking for help and getting divisiveness. And I don't know what to do.

The two of us sat down with a counselor the other day and we felt seen, at the same time, for the first time. She understood this struggle. I wish she was taking more clients, hopefully the counselor she recommended will be equally excellent. How do we find or make more of these safe spaces, where we can both exist together, without either of us being the villain?

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

If you are thinking about harming yourself — get immediate crisis support. Connect to a crisis counselor 24/7, 365 days a year, from anywhere in the U.S via text, chat, or phone. The Trevor Project is 100% confidential and 100% free.

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/

The first friday of every month is Fashion Friday! Give us your favourite fashion tips, tell us what you love wearing, or even post a photo!

Hi, me being a bellend asking for help again- Imean, uh, helpfully bringing up that having a place to do that could be cool. Yeah, that. I think somecritters around here were discussing such a thing at some point? squeaks meekly?

(Yapping/story-stuff/rambling/???) ... It'd be real cool if the aid programs around here were implemented more sensibly and responsively :-\ Finally got to see a mental-y health-y help-y critter who sent in the stuff to get me on a cash assistance program but now it's just 🦗 🦗 and Idunno if I'm gonna be able to dispel credit bills this month, dunno what'll happen if I don't. I wonder if I can postpone by proving I have COVID? ... Ugh. I assume there's gonna be some kind of torture if I can't. Have been trying not to think of it 'cause I can't handle shit. Am close to being able to, just that one thing needs to stop with the heel-dragging and I'll be able to scrape by well enough to get help and start a life ([Sarcasm] At 34, which everycritter knows is the best age to be starting to live at) but rrgghhh squeaky-squawky-flaily incoherent critter noises!
(End ???)

Anyway, was that place ever a thing? I- er, some critters may need to borrow a buck or something. And a nap. Does anycritter have a nap I can use? I'll give it back after 🤷 [Strange incoherent joke] Can't taste it anyway.
Bleh.

(Off-topic) In other news, somehow I've ended up in the pridest freakin' city? Every other weekend there's some kinda pride thing going on @.@ Kinda neat Is'pose 😅 🤷 🐭 😶‍🌫️ skitters quietly away, still squeaking excuses and distractions >.<;

Even if it's a small change in your attitude, what is that one thing you can rely on when having a rough day?

I have a few go to activities I can rely on, but they depend on how much time and energy I have to devote to them.

My favorite and most consistent activity is taking a long shower and shaving every inch of my body. Body hair has always been such a huge source of dysphoria for me since I was a teenager over 15 years ago. Weeeellll before I knew what dysphoria was. I would shave my arms and legs until my friends starting making fun of me for it. Didn't realize it was such a "weird" thing for me to do. I just hated seeing the hair and loved the sensation of smooth skin. 😅

Unfortunately this activity takes me a while if I want to do it right, but goodness do I feel like a new woman when I crawl into bed that night with soft silky skin.

So do you have a similar activity? Is it self care based like like or something different like listening to a favorite music album or watching a comfort show?

All the love, Olivia