Shitty Superpowers

!shittysuperpowers

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You always know the perfect thing you should have said, but 5 years later.

You always know the perfect thing you should have said, but 5 years later.

You have a large glowing eye on the back of your neck

You have a large glowing eye on the back of your neck

you can make ashes taste like fruit

you can make ashes taste like fruit

and i mean human or animal ashes. you can pick the fruit. still has a slight aftertaste. no cooldown

You can choose to develop cancer at any time

You can choose to develop cancer at any time

But you immediately shit

You know every popculture reference of an alien civilization

You know every popculture reference of an alien civilization

Somewhere in the universe, there's another intelligent lifeform, with development at a stage roughly equal to our own. They make and share video recordings edited to be emotional, informative, inspirational, or entertaining, and you know and recognize all of it (translated to your native language, of course).

You just don't know where they are, what they look like, the overall story lines, and possibly a way to convince anyone else that this is a real thing.

If you eat an entire apple (besides the core), for the next 24 hours any doctors who touch you are repelled backwards at the speed of sound.

If you eat an entire apple (besides the core), for the next 24 hours any doctors who touch you are repelled backwards at the speed of sound.

If they’re legally a doctor, it counts.

You can decide to spare a doctor who touches you if you feel like it.

If you touch them yourself, the power still activates.

You are extremely attractive as long as you smell like shit

You are extremely attractive as long as you smell like shit

Double your poop and give it to the next person

Double your poop and give it to the next person

You will no longer have to poop when you use it. It will be doubled and a random person will have to poop that amount