[META] Reminder: This is "Not The Onion" - Read the sidebar
We've been getting some weird posts lately that... Well, they're not making me think it's gotta be an Onion headline, that's for sure.
So just a little refresher. Posts should be:
- Links to news stories from…
- …credible sources, with…
- …their original headlines, that…
- …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
If it's not Onion-y, it doesn't belong here. Bizarre, horrific, and violent news can be here if the headline reads like something out of The Onion, but if it doesn't, it's going away. And if there's too much non-Onion-like content from an account, that account is going away, too.
If you're not sure whether the real news headline you've found is like The Onion, here's a few sample Onion headlines from today:
- "Visiting Friend Pleasantly Surprised By City’s Open Hostility Toward Homeless People"
- "Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once"
- "Man Feels Like Bystanders Are Arguing For Him To Put Gun Down In Bad Faith"
- "Wally The Emotional Support Alligator Went To See The Phillies"
- ‘New York Times’ Issues Apology For Reporting Palestinian Deaths
See? Find headlines from real news outlets that remind you of headlines like those. And just to prove my point: One of them is real.
Bystanders, cop shot as NYPD opens fire on alleged fare-beater in Brooklyn subway
NYPD shooting at Brooklyn subway station hurts 4 – NBC New York
https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/brooklyn-subway-shooting-nypd-sutter-avenue/5799406/
PM says it would 'cost the taxpayer a fortune' if he didn't accept free Arsenal tickets
PM says it would 'cost the taxpayer a fortune' if he didn't accept free Arsenal tickets
https://news.sky.com/story/pm-says-it-would-cost-the-taxpayer-a-fortune-if-he-didnt-accept-free-arsenal-tickets-13217907
The prime minister was asked about his relationship with Arsenal Football Club after the Sky News' Westminster Accounts project revealed he had received two-and-a-half times more gifts and hospitality than the next MP.
NC gov. candidate Mark Robinson declared himself "Black Nazi" on porn site
Just a moment...
https://www.axios.com/local/raleigh/2024/09/19/mark-robinson-cnn-report-nc-scandal
Putin encourages Russians to have sex at work amid falling birth rate
https://indianexpress.com/article/world/putin-encourages-russians-to-have-sex-at-work-amid-falling-birth-rate-9571568/
Billionaire Larry Ellison says a vast AI-fueled surveillance system can ensure 'citizens will be on their best behavior'
Billionaire Larry Ellison says a vast AI-fueled surveillance system can ensure 'citizens will be on their best behavior'
https://www.businessinsider.com/larry-ellison-ai-surveillance-keep-citizens-on-their-best-behavior-2024-9
Billionaire Oracle cofounder Larry Ellison said he expects AI surveillance systems to reach a point where all citizens are under constant watch.
Hot queen conch seeks cool mates: Florida’s new ‘speed dating’ service to save endangered shellfish
Hot queen conch seeks cool mates: Florida’s new ‘speed dating’ service to save endangered shellfish
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/sep/16/shellfish-florida-endangered-queen-conch-high-sea-temperatures
Soaring sea temperatures have made the celebrated gastropod lethargic and infertile, so scientists are helping the threatened species to reproduce
Germany's first hobby horsing championship gallops through Frankfurt
Germany's first hobby horsing championship gallops through Frankfurt
https://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/germanys-hobby-horsing-championship-gallops-frankfurt-113684894
Germany’s first hobby horsing championship has got underway in Frankfurt this weekend with hundreds of young riders competing in time jumping, style jumping and dressage on their wooden stick horses
North Korea punishes teenage girls for watching forbidden K-Drama: video
North Korea punishes teenage girls for watching forbidden K-Drama: video
https://www.newsweek.com/north-korea-news-teenagers-punished-watching-k-drama-1951843
Kim Jong Un has since 2020 ramped up efforts to purge South Korean dramas, music, and even slang, which he views as a threat to the regime.
Biden wears Trump hat as 9/11 unity gesture, says White House
Biden wears Trump hat as 9/11 unity gesture, says White House
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4gdgw0v3dxo
The US president borrows the trademark Republican cap after joking with fire fighters.
