One day a man walked into a bar. He told the bartender that he didn't have any money.

However, he would show the bartender something amazing in exchange for a drink. It was a slow day, so the bartender agreed.

The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a frog and a tiny saxophone. He gave the saxophone to the frog. The frog then proceeded to play an incredible jazz solo. Highly impressed, the bartender gave the man a drink.

The man then asked for another drink in exchange for something even more amazing. The bartender agreed.

So the man pulled a hamster out of his pocket and set it on the bar. The frog started playing the saxophone again. Then the hamster started singing along. It was a terrific jazz duet. Even more impressed, the bartender gave the man a second drink.

Just then another bar patron rushed up to the man. He offered the man $1,000 for the singing hamster. The man considered it for a moment and then agreed to the deal. The patron paid the man and quickly left with the hamster. After the patron left, the bartender exclaimed, "I can't believe you let a singing hamster go for only $1,000!"

The man replied, "It's no loss to me. The frog is a ventriloquist."

A guy walks into a seedy dive bar feeling a little hungry. He orders a beer and a bowl of chili from the bartender.

The bartender replies, "Sorry my friend. The guy next to you ordered and got the last bowl." He looked to the man sitting next to him, the bowl is still steaming, full, and he's just sitting there looking drunk and not eating it.

"Excuse me, if you're not going to eat that, can I buy it off of you?," he asked.

"Ah, I'm done with it. Keep your money, it's yours if you want it." the other guys says.

The man thanks him and gleefully starts eating it. It's delicious. The perfect spice, flavor, heat, everything.

About halfway done though, his spoon hits a solid object. Scooping it out, he finds it's a dead mouse at the bottom of the bowl.

Seeing this, he gripped the bowl and immediately threw up into it. He groans, pushing the now refilled bowl forward and the other man says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."

They where to large for the british museum