!copypasta@lemmy.ml
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!copypasta
@lemmy.mlπ Hello darkness π, my old friend π§βπ€βπ§, I've come to talk with you again π£οΈ. Because a vision softly creeping ποΈ, left its seeds π± while I was sleeping ποΈ. And the vision that was planted in my brain still remain π§ , within the sound of silence π. In restless dreams I walked alone πΆ, narrow streets of cobblestone π€οΈ. 'Neath the halo of a street lamp π¦, I turned my collar to the cold and damp π. When my eyes were stabbed πͺ by the flash of a neon light πΈ that split the night π, and touched the sound of silence π. And in the naked light I saw ten thousand people π€Ό, maybe more. People talking without speaking π. People hearing without listening π. People writing songs that voices never share π€. No one dared πΆ, disturb the sound of silence π₯. "Fools" said I π€, "You do not know silence like a cancer grows π. Hear my words that I might teach you π§βπ«, take my arms that I might reach you. π«²" But my words like silent raindrops fell π¦, and echoed in the wells of silence π³οΈ. And the people bowed and prayed π to the neon god they made π, and the sign π flashed out its warning in the words that is was forming β οΈ. And the sign said, "The words of the prophets π, are written on the subway walls π, and the tenement halls π , and whispered in the sounds of silenceπ€«.
Millions of years of evolution. Β Countless struggles and hardships through hundreds of generations. Β Blood, sweat, and tears...all to get your father's sperm to fertilize your mother's egg and create you. Β
Β All so you can drink from the Iron Man (TM) Coca-Cola (TM) can.
I wonder if this was the end game Columbus had when he boarded that ship...Gutenberg when he invented the printing press, Newton when he discovered gravity...those men who stormed Normandy and the caveman who chistled the first wheel. Β If they could see this...would Newton have burned all his notes? Β Would Gutenberg smashed his printing press, knowing what it would print someday? Β Would Columbus had turned his ship around? Β Would the men landing on Normandy have turned their ships around?
Is like how the man who shot Franz Ferdinand probably never imaged he'd help create anime...
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like βwhat the fuckβ and βcall the policeβ. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
"Hey man, can I get a hand with this real quick?"
Everything traditionally regarded as typical about James' posture, followed by his gait, followed by his usual diction and within reason his voice, would become deliberately unaltered within roughly the same duration occupied by the question in asking.
He somehow rose to an even taller stature than Mohammad could recall having observed anytime prior, before instantly walking with an efficiency that appeared swift visuallyβalbeit at a measurably slow rate of travel, in fact comically so, and having predetermined both the slow walk and the illusion of speed consciously. He began to close upon his general vicinity, or something approaching that. It was equally as obvious, as every individual detail respecting the inordinately abrasive and functionally instantaneous total abandon of his known self had just become, that he was not approaching Mohammad directly because he didn't want to. It became immediately self evident that the dominant, commanding authority, the unmodified presence of whom proved sufficient for the consumption of all attention made available to him, was James. The "James," with whom anyone then familiar to both Mohammad and James was familiar as well, was born from an exhaustive alternate persona of James' own design and the performance of its intended function. "James" did not actually exist.
All the while directing his gaze, continually, to the effect that his colleague remained barely outside the fringe of his vision, or barely within the periphery, or call it whatever you will, he⦠eventually⦠stood somewhat close. Within a single digit matter of seconds, James had effectively conveyed his true demeanor by demonstration. His overall physical presence, behavior, or what have you, had for all practical purposes been revealed as they were meant to be, at long last; his real character having been exposed, of his own volition, in the form of coherent analogy to some character embodied by some bad guy in some cartoon; his paces meeting the floor as menacingly as he knew how, and to that end, commiting adequate bodyweight to each step as slowly as he knew how to walk without standing still, simply because that's how the real James actually walked; the sundry of other minute details that wouldn't necessarily mean anything without supporting the rest of the act that's not an act⦠The assumption of the role of himself properly, regarded as a whole, served to facilitate the animation of the real cartoon villain James in all three directions through space. It was almost as if he were building a nearly self-aware level of suspense, just for maximum irony, only for the hyperbole of tension amassed to have set up no payoff at all climactic; just so he could finally deliver some theoretically eye-roll inducing monologue outside all existing context, just to describe his own relevance to the plot almost literally through exposition ostensibly unwarranted. No matter how much it may have appeared that way, however, I'm quite afraid that the twist is that there is no twist because, uh, yeah: that is exactly what happened.
"Before either of us say anything else, I'm going to lay down a very specific set of ground rules that shall, beginning this instant and withstanding incessantly for as long as time should persist, usurp all accountability and oversight but their ownβnot only on principle, but more importantly because they have to if only as a technical matter. The conditions I hold imperative are as follows: that we, including you and also including me, are to actively avoid the violation of anyone's privacy to the extent that's realistically feasibleβagain, not only on principle, but more importantly because we have to if only as a technical matter. Moreover, it should further stand to reason that neither of us, to the exclusion of both you and me, are ever at liberty to affect anyone and/or anything, in any way illegal under normal circumstances, unless and until said person and/or the owner of said property shall have explicitly requested execution according to such procedure, and particularly described the intended result thereof with a level of precision that is objectively reasonable given the nature of said request, and likewise the exact methodologies requested for the production of said outcome, and so on and so forth, and whatnot. Are all of the aforementioned conditions heard, and understood, and acknowledged, and mutually agreed upon without room for exception β¦Mr. Wang?"
Mohammad paused for just long enough, while simultaneously not pausing for too long by any means, in order for the total length of his pause to subsequently deliver his response behind the closest thing humanly attainable to perfection in terms of comedic timing. He then saidβat an amplitude subjectively perceived by the listener as roughly half-way between that of screaming most highly corrosive against basic sanity, and that of whispering barely intelligibleβand with no tone whatsoever, and without so much as an inflection that would've meant something in a conventional senseβ¦
"Bruh."
This morning at 5:40am my desktop metamask was hacked and drained of all funds and NFTs.
The only thing I did differently was charge a brand new dildo on my computer and installed the app.
Still trying to wrap my head around this but I think I was just hacked by a fucking dildo.
I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE FUCKING CODE! i just want to download this stupid fucking application and use it https://github.com/sherlock-project/sherlock#installation
WHY IS THERE CODE??? MAKE A FUCKING .EXE FILE AND GIVE IT TO ME. these dumbfucks think that everyone is a developer and understands code. well i am not and i don't understand it. I only know to download and install applications. SO WHY THE FUCK IS THERE CODE? make an EXE file and give it to me. STUPID FUCKING SMELLY NERDS
Imagine Harry out in the woods, wearing his invisibility cloak, carrying a .50bmg Barrett, turning Deatheaters into pink mist, scratching a lightning bolt into his rifle stock for each kill. I don't think Madam Pomfrey has any spells that can scrape your brains off of the trees and put you back together after something like that. Voldemort's wand may be 13.5 inches with a Phoenix-feather core, but Harry's would be 0.50 inches with a tungsten core. Let's see Voldy wave his at 3,000 feet per second. Better hope you have some Essence of Dittany for that sucking chest wound.
Thank you for adding /s to your post. When I first saw this, I was horrified. How could anybody say something like this? I immediately began writing a 1000 word paragraph about how horrible of a person you are. I even sent a copy to a Harvard professor to proofread it. After several hours of refining and editing, my comment was ready to absolutely destroy you. But then, just as I was about to hit send, I saw something in the corner of my eye. A /s at the end of your comment. Suddenly everything made sense. Your comment was sarcasm! I immediately burst out in laughter at the comedic genius of your comment. The person next to me on the bus saw your comment and started crying from laughter too. Before long, there was an entire bus of people on the floor laughing at your incredible use of comedy. All of this was due to you adding /s to your post. Thank you.
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the π«΅ awwivaw of commodowe pewwy: looks at you in 1853, commodowe matthew p-pewwy of the π«΅π€ x3 unyited whispers to self states πΊπΈ a-a-awwived in japan πβ©οΈ with a fweet of wawships, owo. This event π«π«π« eventuwawwy wed t-to the π«΅ x3 openying π of japan β©οΈ t-to foweign twade and the π«΅ x3 cowwapse of the π€ x3 tokuwgawa s-shoguwnyate.