I’m a fan of this method, lol.
When I can muster it, I treat small talk like a game rather than something to try and get out of. I have to listen for any clues that tell me how I can take the conversation from the tutorial stage to the next level. Once I think I’ve got a clue to go off, I can ask another question about the topic to see if it gets the other person talking about something deeper.
But it’s a tough game to play!
I was able to skim this while taking a break from something else and I'm very excited to give it a thorough read. Thanks for sharing this!
That's a bummer that you get unwelcome judgements for thesesorts of things!
That happened to me a lot in school, as I had clothes I'd wear on specific days of the week and would also often eat the same stuff for lunch every day. Some folks got it (hey, friends!) and some were just nasty about it.
In my current workplace, while there are questions sometimes, I'm thankful there aren't unwelcome judgements on both my clothes and my eating habits. Though, when someone asks or comments on my current wardrobe (which consists of multiples of the same black pants, black t shirts, and flannel shirts), I've started just saying "I'm in my final phase as an adult goth kid", as that often turns the conversation around to talking about what sorts of non-typical clothes folks wore in their youth.
It's a neat trick and I'm glad it fits for my clothes and my personality because it really helps take some of the conversational pressure off that sort of thing.
I'm rambling. I just wanted to let you know that I understand and also I hope that those unwelcome judgements happen to you less frequently as time goes on.
I’m really into this. I recently dropped out of a campaign and have been thinking about trying my hand at DMing. Reading through your post, it suddenly doesn’t feel so overwhelming lol.
Thanks for sharing!
This is awesome! Thanks for sharing. I’m building up my resources for communicating and this is a fantastic resource :)
There’s tons of good comments here. Mine will echo some! I just wanted to share my experience.
I have three hobbies that I’ve explored since moving to a new city in my 30s - axe throwing, pinball, and making music.
I found a local axe league and joined for a season. One season has become four :) The people I throw axes with are wonderful and varied. While we may not have crossed paths otherwise, they’re fine folks and I consider many my friends.
I went to a local pinball bar for a casual tournament and have been going every other week since. It a supportive community and I’ve had a great time learning about the games and learning about the folks on my various teams.
I answered a Craigslist ad for a band looking for another member. We’ve clicked quite well and have practices together, go out together, record together, and even play shows!
Exploring your own hobbies in some sort of structured way might be a good step in your own quest :) Good luck!
I’m a mutterer too! I was having a hard time in a crowded store the other day and began muttering to myself but in some sort of eastern-european accent and, i gotta say, it vastly improved my time at the store. People that got too close certainly didnt linger, lol.
@handofdumb
@lemm.ee