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Further adventures in reporter voice by new york crimes

the_dunk_tank

!the_dunk_tank

It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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This is beyond passive voice

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Sneering voice. They know.

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Evasive voice? Complicit voice?

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I hope a huge crater appears around NYT building after Russia says it struck a militant center with an Avangard glide vehicle

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woops! we just put these two completely disconnected events in the same headline! how clumsy of us!

GoodGuyWithACat

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"Crater develops in Gaza after kinetic incident."

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That might only get the silver medal in today's Most Despicable NYT Article competition. This one implies that every bombing of a school is justified:

Unwilling to Be Human Shields, Some Gazans Turn Gunmen Away From Shelters

(Different headline in the archived version, but that's what it says on the front page right now)

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Man those craters just appeared like that? Crazy

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Could have been meteors, could have been the bombing, who's to say?

SacredExcrement

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The Earth just does that sometimes

john_browns_beard

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Hamas made the craters with their tunnel-digging shovels, as a joke

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BREAKING: Activity recorded at astronomical observatory days prior to devastating meteor strike now linked to Hamas

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"to target a militant center" brow

Yeah, for sure.

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God the "militant" is such ratfuck wording. "Military center" implies an official organization. "Militant center" implies Palestine is training civilians to do terrorism.

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Actually it makes perfect sense. If you don't recognize your adversaries as legitimate states, then they don't have any official organizations, meaning any fighting back is automatically terrorism.

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Military age male

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who-did-this

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Imperialist passive voice.

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Unrest At Army Base

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Two buildings reportedly fallen, according to new york mayor. saudis claim to target cia hq

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FAMILIES MISSING AAAAAAAAHHHH