I’ve been sent dick pics before, but being a lesbian they were very unwelcome. If someone sent me a painting of their boobs, though, yep—seems like that would work.
I would honestly feel obligated to marry any girl who sent me a painting of her boobs. That's a lot of work. There's no way you don't look back and regret missing the girl who SENT YOU A PAINTING OF HER BOOBS ON IVORY.
Beauty Revealed is an 1828 self-portrait by the American artist Sarah Goodridge, a watercolor portrait miniature on a piece of ivory.
Goodridge gave the portrait to statesman Daniel Webster, who was a frequent subject and possibly a lover, following the death of his wife; she may have intended to provoke him into marrying her. Although Webster married someone else, his family held onto the portrait until the 1980s ...
Imagine holding on to the nude pic that dad's old crush sent him.
Goodridge, aged forty when she completed the miniature, depicts breasts that appear imbued with a "balance, paleness, and buoyancy" by the harmony of light, color, and balance.
There's no way her tits looked like that at 40. No sir, I'm not buying it. 🐴
I like to think that the drawing of the giant naked dude in the English countryside that was made by Paleolithic humans was the first dick pic
