::: spoiler (CW: Transphobia)
Just got a text from my father and I read it while I was still working and it kinda fucked me up, I was struggling a bit to do the last bit of tutoring for the day.
Context is I had said I could probably meet up for lunch Sunday if I'm not collapsed on my bed due to work. Since I have a 12 hour outdoor work day on Saturday and this week is also just long in general. And he knows that. Oh and during our call Sunday my mother yelled at me over his phone again and tried to gaslight me about how she had told me that she wants me homeless when I brought it up. So this is coming right after that. Fun.
"OK, Sunday, choose the place and stop whining, you know that there is still a place for you here and that your life would be easier if you were ready to wait a few more years for your transition."
Just. I know it's not the absolute worst thing I've gotten from either of them about it. But it just hurts so much more deeply for some reason. I want to just get into bed and curl up to cry but I need to shower and eat first since I only just got off work so I'm gonna have to zombie through that for an hour or some such before I can let this emotionally settle and that sounds fucking awful right now.
Oh and he has literally never once called me by my name. He compromised by saying he would switch to my old nickname which I was fine with, only to then immediately stop using it and go back to my deadname.
:::