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J.D. Vance Spends Weird, Low-Energy Speech Praising Diet Mountain Dew

https://newrepublic.com/post/184127/jd-vance-weird-low-energy-speech-diet-mountain-dew

Donald Trump’s vice presidential pick went off on a bizarre tangent about diet soda during a rally.

J.D. Vance Spends Weird, Low-Energy Speech Praising Diet Mountain Dew

J.D. Vance’s weird, anti-woke punchline fell flat at his own sleepy speaking event on Monday.

Vance held a rally at his former high school in Middletown, Ohio, where hundreds gathered to hear the missives of Donald Trump’s newly-minted vice presidential candidate. But, even as a hometown hero, the Ohio senator suffered some brutally awkward moments.

“It is the weirdest thing to me: Democrats say that it is racist to believe—well, they say it’s racist to do anything,” said Vance. “I had a diet Mountain Dew yesterday, and one today. I’m sure they’re probably gonna call that racist, too.” Around the room there were some scattered laughs.

90 comments

thisbenzingring

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Like Vance’s quip about diet soda, this approach to criticism seems to stem from having absolutely nothing of substance to say about a subject, but giving it their best shot anyway.

Overall, the Republican’s performance was so underwhelming that even Fox News stopped airing coverage of Vance’s speech in the middle of his remarks.

oh that is funny!

N0body

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Worst VP pick since Palin. He presents as your smartass alt right troll cousin that you think about skipping Thanksgiving to avoid, and his only real appeal is speaking out against the "elites," who were all inconveniently in the list of his personal contacts that were accessible to the public because the RNC forgot to set his Venmo to private while "vetting" their VP pick.

It's a clown show. The MAGA camp thought they had it in the bag for a few weeks and made some incredibly stupid, sloppy decisions.

Asafum

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I wonder if all the other options actually had backbones? I know the one supreme deciding factor for Trump's pick: "will you do as I say and deny the results of the election and anything else I ask you to do that isn't above board?"

I think there might be more pences out there than we think so Vance might have been one of a few on a short list that filled that criteria. Plus I'm sure Trump liked the look of him.

Chocrates

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Reporting was saying that Trump didn't like Vance and Trump's sons had to convince him.

Asafum

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Interesting. The only reason I'd have to not believe that is that it involves Trump listening to his children lol

Chocrates

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😂

CileTheSane

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There's also the factor that Trump's cultists wanted to hang his last VP, and Trump was okay with that.

itsgoodtobeawake

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I hadn't heard that venmo story, gotta love the self owns, here it is: https://www.wired.com/story/jd-vance-venmo/

Denalduh

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It's a clown show. The MAGA camp thought they had it in the bag for a few weeks and made some incredibly stupid, sloppy decisions.

You say that like MAGA and stupid, sloppy decisions don't go hand in hand.

CileTheSane

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Anyone publicly known to be supporting Trump is by definition stupid or sloppy.

dogsnest

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So far he's got the charisma of a soap dish.

AbidanYre

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That's more than Mike Pence ever managed.

TexasDrunk

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Hell, I was convinced Pence was a supervillain sitting in a swivel chair stroking a long haired cat for like the first year of Trump's presidency. I didn't like Trump, but I just thought he was a blowhard who would do absolutely nothing rather than trying to actively harm people.

Pence turned out to be little more than a neutered grapefruit with almost as much personality.

AbidanYre

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After Cheney that's an understandable assumption about the VP.

worldwidewave

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He truly is Trump’s successor, rambling about incoherent nonsense is a staple of a Trump rally. My favorite has to be his many rants about toilets not flushing.

fox2263

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Ew he drank DIET? Is he some weird LEFTY MARXIST COMMUINIST? Real Americans have FULL SUGAR

0x0

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Americans 👏 consume 👏 high 👏 fructose 👏 corn 👏 syrup

iiGxC

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My taxes subsidized all that corn, I gotta get my money's worth!!

SqueakyBeaver

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nuh uh According to my extremely conservative coworker, that stuff causes cancer and big soda is trying to kill us. Something like that

BossDj

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But then turns around to order snake oil and miracle pills from Infowars, then takes his daily hydroxychloroquine tab and rolling coal on some Tesla owner

fox2263

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And if you say maybe sugar should be taxed or banned, you’re a commie pedo

Corkyskog

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Diet Mountain Dew tastes like absolute trash. It's like they just replaced the pound of sugar in each bottle with an equal amount of bitter aspartame with no other recipe adjustments.

JaymesRS

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Baja Blast and Code Red are the exceptions to that, otherwise hard agree.

Corkyskog

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I wasn't aware they made diet flavors of those.

thisbenzingring

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and if its only 1 soda a day, just drink the regular one ya fucking loon. Vance is younger than me, I don't drink soda very often, and when I do enjoy a regular Mt Dew. Stuff is fuckin good!

anon232

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One bottle has 77g of sugar, even one a day is an incredible amount of sugar for the average diet, thats in conjunction with I assume other sugary foods too.

Most drinks in general just have way way too much sugar.

vaultdweller013

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Counter point Mt Dew gewd. Ill stop drinking when my organs hurt... again.

vaultdweller013

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Actual leftists prefer Code Red.

b161

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Freedom is consuming the sugary chemical water of the megacorporations.

crawancon

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that's hexabear for you

AbouBenAdhem

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“They keep saying I’m a racist no matter which soda I drink—it’s almost as if they reached that conclusion on some other basis altogether!”

Asafum

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"They're never satisfied, I mutter the n-word while I drink coke, racist! I mutter DEI n-word while drinking Pepsi, racist! I put my foot on the throat of my black maid for fun while drinking sprite, racist! The left has lost their n-word minds! Oops they'll call me racist for that too! Unbelievable!"

solsangraal

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LOL he wrote a whole book blaming uneducated southern bumpkins for their own generations-long problems, so now he's trying to win back the ones who hate his wife but are going to vote R anyway. because of course they guzzle mountain dew by the 5gal bucketload

1000 years from now, historians are going to base their life's work on trying to figure out how americans fit so much pants-on-head stupidity into so few decades

Passerby6497

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1000 years from now, historians are going to base their life's work on trying to figure out how americans fit so much pants-on-head stupidity into so few decades

Leaded gasoline is my guess. We put so much brain damaging shit into the air that decent portions of a couple generations have mental issues like this.

A good percentage of the current republican politicians are too young to have directly had their brains damaged by that, but their parents and the constituents they're trying to woo all had the damage, so it's likely either they were traumatized by their parents or they're just being stupid to seem more relatable to the constituents.

pezmaker

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I'm beginning to wonder if micro-plastics aren't going to be our leaded gasoline. If they really do cross the blood brain barrier, I can't imagine that they wouldn't be impacting us long term with cognitive and behavioral variances.

Thassodar

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Don't forget the forever chemicals, too! We fucked humanity so we could have non-stick coatings!

CitizenKong

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Also Covid. Every infection can reduce the IQ by a couple of points.

zephorah

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Ok, I’ll bite, what’s the problem with Vance’s wife? Is she black or Jewish or something else not white evangelical?

CaptDust

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Daughter of Indian immigrants, consulting the chart- she lands just under the red line.

NielsBohron

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Indian, I think

zephorah

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People are shits.

MagicShel

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Diet Dr. Trump, brought to you by Pepsi.

Yes, Mr. Pibb would be better than implying Trump is in any way smart enough to be a doctor, but I think lacks the meme power of Dr. Pepper.

anon_8675309

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Mr PAB.

TrickDacy

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Phat Ass Bitch?

MagicShel

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Pedos and Betas?

imPastaSyndrome

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Honestly surprised he hasn't tried to sell a soda yet

CaptDust

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As he started defending diet mt dew, I knew he was unelectable. Massive miscalculation Vance.

Zipitydew

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I've joked for years drinking diet mnt dew on purpose is a cry for help. This only confirms my position.

MSids

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Please drink a verification can to continue campaigning

henfredemars

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Can-paigning

CileTheSane

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Oh god, are they actually selling product placements in their speeches now?

isgleas

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Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho enters the race

orclev

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Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho was several orders of magnitude a better president than any of these chucklefucks could ever hope to be. He saw his country had a problem he didn't know how to solve so he found the smartest person he could, asked him what to do, and then did it even when it sounded crazy to him and his entire cabinet. We would all be a lot better off if we had more presidents like Camacho and less like Trump.

Viking_Hippie

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While those are all excellent points, you're kinda leaving out the point where he ordered his secretary of the interior publicly executed for not solving a multitude of seemingly impossible problems fast enough..

That's more of a Trump cult kind of thing.

orclev

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I mean, he was a moron. He ordered him executed because he thought everything he had suggested failed and it caused a major problem (he tanked the value of Brawndo leading to an economic collapse), not realizing they just needed to wait a little longer to see the results. He was very short sighted, but he at least tried to do the right thing. He also pardoned him as soon as he was shown evidence that the problem had been solved.

isgleas

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vaultdweller013

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Diet Mountain Dew tastes like shit. Either drink classic, Code Red, or Baja Blast. Fucking tasteless profligate. I already hated him but now I wanf to feed him battery acid.

DogWater

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Fwiw zero tastes a lot better than diet. Not a substitute for the OG but passable if you need to save calories

Kolanaki

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They may use different sweetener alternatives to sugar, but they all taste the same and leave the same awful aftertaste and feeling in my mouth. Aspartame, suclarose, stevia extract, etc.

I hate it when they use them in juices even more; I would rather have the sugar free version simply not have any added sweeteners at all. I mean, the ones I am thinking about are still actually juice and coconut water, so the sweetness of the juice from its own natural sugars should be enough. Putting in the sugar substitutes just makes it gross.

DogWater

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If it's not carbonated I can't stand it. I got a hold of some 0 cal Snapple the other day and my lord that shit was unbearable.

ILikeBoobies

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If you need to save calories go with water

It’s a market that shouldn’t exist

5C5C5C

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As someone that has never had soda my entire life (my parents were normal soda-drinking people, I'm just weird and was never interested in trying it), maybe I don't know what I'm missing out on, but water is soooo gooood. It's so refreshing and delicious if you're thirsty. I don't comprehend why these drinks even exist.

If you live almost anywhere in America or another developed nation, you get dirt-cheap clean water delivered right to your home constantly, and it's so great. Why does anyone spend money on garbage that's going to give them diabetes? And then the people who are sensible enough to try to avoid the diabetes just drink some other garbage and complain about the taste..??

WATER IS DELICIOUS YOU FOOLS

DogWater

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That's obviously the best answer, so much so that I got a soda stream off FB for cheap and I make soda water with it.

My brain is addicted to the carbonated part. Not the syrup. I drink so much more water now that I can carbonate it.

But yeah, for people who are addicted to sugar soda, my point still stands.

BetaBlake

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A diet drink? Wow that's very woke of him!

suction

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So brave of him to admit to like unmanly sodas!!

Pretzilla

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It's because his diet daddy Trump exclusively drinks diet coke - but jd didn't want to be to obvious of a kiss ass so he went with diet dew

Chakravanti

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It's all about the caffeine, not the sucralose.

JaymesRS

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What’s the over/under on him getting asked to withdraw as the VP now that it’s Kamala instead of Joe since he doesn’t really bring anything to the ticket than more smooth talking MAGA talking points?

qarbone

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“I had a diet Mountain Dew yesterday, and one today. I’m sure they’re probably gonna call that racist, too.” Around the room there were some scattered laughs.

...smooth-talking?

JaymesRS

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Yep. He is dialed in to the right-wing grievance politics message. You and I may think he sounds like an idiot but to the “my gender is attack/helicopter” crowd he generally hits all the notes perfectly.

But that’s the problem. He doesn’t bring anything outside of those who are already 100% tuned in.

CaptDust

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I'm of two thoughts, I think GOP is thinking they'll need to replace him because he is a direct double down of Trump, but their options are poor. It basically would have to be Haley or Scott. Anything else is just "MAGA white guy" and swapping one for another won't have an impact.

JaymesRS

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Rubio or Bergrum still have their draws, Rubio to appeal to the Latino crowd that are already heavily Trump leaning and Bergrum has his money.

CaptDust

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Yeah idk still think Bergrum, may as well keep Vance, he got that those SV backers for money. Big T and Lil Marco though now that's a ticket. Sorry I can't take this party seriously lol