As I write this, I unironically have a gentle stream of warm water cleansing my balloon knot.

Edit: just wiped to dry, no poop. Also, it primes the warm water line for when I wash my hands.

Bidets are bad because after you get one you will never want to poop anywhere else again

Reported for sectarianism. Not cool.

Nintendo Poopcube

Absolutely not, no fuck you, I need to be clean

EDIT: I'm sorry I said fuck you, I know this is just a shitpost

thesis: bidets are good

antithesis: bidets are bad, compost toilets are good

synthesis: compost toilet WITH a bidet

now i have to pee on someone else's poo because of woke

I'm going to set up a compost toilet on my balcony

Why not a bidet to minimize toilet paper use and a compost toilet to recycle your doodoo?

I got a portable bidet just this week because of how insufferable it is to poop anywhere outside my home.

My new bidet just arrived, installing it in a few minutes. Will be taking luxurious poos by the end of the work day!

Retvrn to ovthovse

Where is the drinking faucet on that box?