My parents have never helped me. They've never been able to. On the other hand, we've given them a fucking car to make it easier for them to help us out with watching kids and running them around. Then my dad bought a Jaguar. And he has a boat. And a truck. But they didn't have air conditioning for about a decade because they couldn't afford it.
I love them, but they are selfish and stupid when it comes to money. As long as they leave my sister (who is disabled and unable to work) some extra money when they pass so I don't have to pay a bunch for her, too, I'll be happy.
I don't understand the Jaguar at all. He keeps it in a storage facility and I've never even seen it. Whatever. I never counted on any kind of inheritance from them, so I guess they can spend it up however they want, but I've been out of work for three months now, chewing up the meager retirement I've managed to save just keeping bills paid, and it's just frustrating.
One of my friend's life ambitions was to own a Jaguar, and he finally managed to buy a used one. He called his insurance agent to add the car to his policy. The agent was like, "Oh, a second car, a Jaguar, no problem. How many miles do you think you'll be putting on it each year? Five thousand should be plenty, yeah?"
And my friend is like, "No! I'm fixing it up and driving it everywhere! I need lots of miles!. and the insurance agent is very quiet and then suggests starting with 5k miles and see how it goes. Whatever, my friend thinks, this guy just doesn't understand the allure of the Jaguar!
He fixes it up, gets it running, here about three blocks from the house and it breaks down. Pushes it home, fixes it up again, gets about five blocks. This goes on for months.
Eventually, my friend changes his car insurance back to 5k per year, and acknowledges that he'll never ever ever reach that much. It's mostly a garage princess, not (entirely) out of a desire to keep the body fresh, but more because it constantly needs babying.
I'm not sure your dad's Jaguar is any better.
My divorced parents are selfish, materialistic, and they will steal from me if they had even my address.
So quite the opposite lol
I grew up poor and I think a good measure of whether someone is poor or lower middle class is “Did your parents help you financially or did you help them?”
I never thought about this topic like this. FWIW I've done both. Always got financial help (Dad payed for my car, stuff that was not covered by scholarships, vacation, extra curricular classes or interests, etc.) and then when he lost his job I helped financially for a bit while he got up on his feet again. I miss him everyday ❤️
Yes because nobody will hire someone with disabilities and finding a job is incredibly difficult without disabilities.
My parents are retired from jobs they had most of there life. I only ask out of necessity though.
Fuck capatilism
Yes because nobody will hire someone with disabilities and finding a job is incredibly difficult without disabilities.
Same boat here. Maybe it helps to know at least you're not alone. Fuck capitalism and fuck ableism for making it so hard for us to participate in their world.
Yes.
It's not that we're particularly fucked financially, we're doing enough to keep our heads well clear of the water, but we're not wealthy by any means and either parents have helped us by stumping up an initial outlay on something, and we've paid them back.
Kind of. I live with my mother so the house expenses are shared - sometimes I'm short on money and she covers it for me, sometimes it's the opposite.
Sometimes either of us cover my sister's financial arse too, even if she doesn't live with us.
Somewhat the opposite. My mom started "borrowing" money from me when I was a teenager. I was too trusting, but eventually i learned to say "no".
Fuck, I haven't thought about any of this in a long time. My mom was awful.
Edit:
I forgot to explain why borrow was in quotes. Most of the time I never got paid back. I still believe she intended on paying me back, but was never able to get ahead financially enough to do it. In general if she borrowed less than $100 she'd get it back to me and pretty quickly. Over $100 it would take her too long to save it up and she'd forget about it.
So sorry your mom behaved like that. Mine would say "Oh you got birthday money from grandpa? Here, I'll save it for you" and of course when I wanted it back, she would get bent out of shape yelling that she had given me life and she wasn't expecting anything in return So why should I. Awful all around.
Yes. A lot to be honest and I'm eternally grateful for it. Lots of nice memories of nights out with friends that I wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise.
I was always jealous of the kids in high school and college who were able to do this. It was 100% down to whose expenses were bankrolled by their parents. Not your fault, but it's left me a little bitter.
Didn't mean to brag about it. We weren't exactly wealthy, but my parents put me and my brothers first.
HahahahahahahahahahhaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
No, see, I owe them, because they decided, 36 years ago, to have another kid. And now the burden of love falls on my shoulders, after being kicked out at 17 for 'talking back'? Nah brah, I'm good.
They can both go fuck themselves entirely.
I like to not imagine them either!
I'm doing really well now despite it all. Got some great inlaws.
I help my mom financially a bit. In return she helps me indirectly financially because i can live at home and eat, use water, electricity and so on. I kind of pay a small rent.
Quite the opposite.
Though, TBF, my wife's maiden aunt sends us a fat pre-inheritance check every other year or so. We usually put it towards a trip to visit her or fixing up the house.
Not anymore, since I finished grad school and started a relatively lucrative career. They did help quite a bit during my undergrad and grad years though... which now drives my guilt about not really interacting with them despite them being unpleasant people overall.
No we don't talk because they're crazy.
When my grandmother died, she has willed most of her fairly sizeable estate to one of my aunts, and gave my mother and other aunt each just 25K. I don't think you could tell your kids that you loved them less than the other than that. I assume my parents will leave me a penny. Which I am fine with.
Probably much more than is comfortable to admit but importantly, it was always understood that its gravy and I need to manage my affairs assuming they weren't in the picture.
Had some slipups but I take it very seriously when I borrowed and would always sweeten the deal by helping out with whatever they needed a hand on and taking care to demonstrate there is an upward trajectory (it wasn't pissing money down the gutter) and lessons were learned.
I'm really glad for the approach because financial responsibillity was not modelled by the other half and even worse, they used their irresponsibillity with money in combination with abuse to deprive me of control against them and experience in managing that crucial aspect of one's existence.
My relationships with them is much stronger because its fostered better communication and prevented anything to catastrophic from happening.
No, but my dad does often drive me to doctor appointments I'm not allowed to drive back from if hubs is still at work and can't take me