it ain't the herps, I swear

A big brown dripping hot sausage. 😈

This, legitimately, is what would happen to me. This kind of shit comprises the vast majority of my life story.

Fuck

Could be worse, could be burn from hot candied nuts. Try explaining that one

If the sausage grease is boiling hot, someone might need to see a doctor...

Don't use your teeth!

It's not the herp, it's the derp.

I always poke them with a fork first to relieve pressure

"Is that a blister or a coldsore?"

> I got it by getting squirt by a hot sausage.

"Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?"

You people bake your sausages?

So "hot food". Problem solved.

Amateur move! Gotta be careful around hot sausage splooge.