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The soft life: why millennials are quitting the rat race

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/apr/02/soft-life-why-millennials-are-quitting-the-rat-race

Ambition once came with a promise: a home, a salary, progress and fulfilment. What happens when that promise is broken? Meet the women who are turning their backs on consumerism, materialism and burnout

The soft life: why millennials are quitting the rat race

116 comments

givesomefucks

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Completely ridiculous that they quoted Kim Kardashian...

The soft life approach is not without its critics. In 2022, Kim Kardashian infamously claimed that women need to “get your fucking ass up and work” as “it seems like nobody wants to work these days”. She was forced to apologise – after it was pointed out that coming from a rich, already-famous family in LA would have its advantages in the job market.

But I never liked how this movement picked up the name "lazy girl job". Bros can be lazy too...

I could have pulled in 6 figures after the Navy, but it would have been a shitty job that I fucking hated.

So I went back to school, got a degree that interests me, did that for a few years, then got a cushy decently paid office job that didn't care what my degree was about.

I'm not maximizing my income, but I also essentially get UBI because I'm a disabled vet.

I'm basically living the progressive dream. And if everyone got the stuff I did, we'd be happier and more productive as a society. Along with a shit ton less crime, because people have something to lose.

Our current hyper capitalist society only works for people like Kim Kardashian that start out wealthy and connected, and those idiots constantly insist the only reason they're wealthy is they work harder. I was doing manual labor before I was a teenager. There's no way in hell Kim has worked a single day harder then I did as a child, but she legitimately believes she busts her ass, all the wealthy elites do.

Because they're surrounded by people they pay to tell them what they want to hear, and everyone else is a "hater".

phoneymouse

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Kim Kardashian is only rich because she sucked a dudes dick and made a sex tape of it, pretty much with the hopes it would be leaked and make her famous.

givesomefucks

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It wasn't even her plan...

She was Paris Hilton's assistant (still no idea why she needed an assistant) when her sex tape legitimately leaked, and Kim saw her go from an fairly anonymous rich girl to nationally famous overnight.

And wanted to follow suit.

EatATaco

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She had a fairly popular reality tv show at the time and was already pretty well established as an it girl and model. Im hard pressed to say she was fairly anonymous. That's what made the sex tape such a big deal was because it was of someone famous.

Don't get me wrong, I buy your story that kim saw the value of the leaked tape. Just having lived through that as a horny young man, I'm not sure I agree with the characterization that she was fairly anonymous.

seriousconsideration

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It wasn't Paris' plan either. It was Kris Jenner's plan.

whereisk

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To be fair, plenty of sex tapes have leaked or "leaked" with a lot of noise over the years, very few people have translated them to massive wealth (games, reality shows, modelling, branding, appearances etc). Whoever is managing them (their mum perhaps?) is very smart in at least that they know how to leverage opportunity, and they're smart enough to listen to that person.

whoreticulture

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Yeah, Kris Kardashian is known as their "momager"

ChrisLicht

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Her father was also one of the highest-earning crim defense lawyers.

BakerBagel

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Who became famous for being a defense lawyer for the most watched murder trial in history.

whoreticulture

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She's famous because her parents were famous, and her family made a pointed campaign to continue making money off of reality tv and being proto-influencers.

Like it or not, a lot of people genuinely enjoy reality TV as entertainment and having characters to watch and gossip about. Kim K is in the entertainment industry.

Whiskey_iicarus

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Same ship, different service. The safety net affords me the ability to find what I really want to do without tying my life to a single job or place.

I also think that it can be brought to other citizens through other community activities. Why don't we offer similar incentives to teachers? 10yr of teaching in exchange for UBI. Or doctors. Or rebuilding the crumbling infrastructure.

I'm guessing that your VA/service income doesn't just go straight to savings either. A lot of it goes right back into the economy through purchasing and associated taxes paid on those things. At least mine does.

The US military is the largest socialist organization in the world and I wish they would extend that to the rest of its citizens without the downside of PTSD, death, and a lifetime of physical and mental ailments.

givesomefucks

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Yeah, it's essentially BAH lol.

Every year it goes up, and every year I make it my new monthly payment for my mortgage.

The US military is the largest socialist organization in the world

I say this all the time, it's 100% true.

The vast majority of our issues would disappear if everyone got that stuff. And we could pay for it all just be taxing the 1% of wealthiest people and corporations.

The only reason to not want it, is if those wealthy people give you a shit ton of money to not want it.

Whiskey_iicarus

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I've thought this for a while, but maybe our service to country isn't done with a DD214. The current situation in the US and world at large makes me think I can still do some good. Maybe politics needs more people who think like you and me.

givesomefucks

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I got told once in the military:

If you don't want to be in charge of a bunch of idiots, one of those idiots is gonna be in charge of you.

And it's pretty accurate, even on the civilian side.

hibsen

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Politics definitely needs people who think like both of you.

whoreticulture

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They quoted Kim Kardashian as a foil in this story haha

skittle07crusher

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Oh thank god somebody had said it

whoreticulture

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all I want is basic media literacy lol

Asafum

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But but but HaRd WoRk DoEs NoT EqUaL VaLuAbLe wOrK!!!

-Bootlickers

corsicanguppy

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But I never liked how this movement picked up the name "lazy girl job". Bros can be lazy too...

This article isn't about men. "Meet the women who..", it says.

We must have achieved peak equality if the 47% minority are cut out of the piece because we're not relevant.

0xD

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Cry more because of one article focussing on women, lmao.

stoly

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My biggest regret in life was working hard for an employer who didn't care for me. I now work in public sector and know that I am making the world a better place, and that pleases me. I got out of the rat race and now have some level of comfort.

AnarchistArtificer

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I'm glad to hear that you're doing better. I've found that public sector can be more stressful in some domains, because of how overstretched services are nowadays, but like you say, at least you're striving for more than just lining someone else's pocket

stoly

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I am also in a good position--I work in higher education, so not quite the same as state or local government, which has different challenges.

SharkAttak

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Why run if there's no more a carrot dangling from the string?

MrFunnyMoustache

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And the treadmill is accelerating on top of that as well.

BarrelAgedBoredom

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And there was never a carrot in the first place. It was a turd painted orange

CaptKoala

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I think describing former US President Trump this way would cause offense to the turd.

WhatAmLemmy

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It's multi-pronged:

why put in effort for companies that will run you into the ground to save a fraction of a %, give you "raises" that don't even cover inflation and never adjust to market rates, or will fire you at will?
why work hard when the social contract has been severed; when the entire system is designed to funnel wealth to the richest, and return the working class to a feudalist underclass of renters.
why save for a future family when you can't ever have housing or economic security, and the system is hellbent on maintaining the status quo despite the fact it may create a lifetime of famine, war, and suffering for the children we already can't afford.

stoly

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why work hard when the social contract has been severed;

There never was this. We had strong unions from the 1930s until the late 1970s. Since then, it's been non-stop capitalism fests.

Ultragigagigantic

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That's because the job wasn't finished. People thought we could negotiate with capitalists.

Sure you can get a peace deal, just like you can get one with putin. The 1% kept soaking up the stolen surplus labor value, and have used that power and wealth to take us right back to the gilded age. when the time comes, no reforms... just a new way of life. We tried reforms yall. It did not work

dumples

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I think millennials and zoomer are just being open and honest about things that always happened. We love labels and with the Internet talks with other like-minded people. There have always been people who worked 9 to 5 at a job and prioritized stability over money. We are being open and bragging about it. We just want to break the hustle culture that was always a loud subset

For example my dad a peak boomer worked at the same company for his whole career and turned down "promotions" that gave a manager title with little more money. They have always been there

Sc00ter

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The problem is, you used to be able to comfortably live that life. Now if you stay at the same company, your wages won't increase at a rate to sustain your life style. Companies care way more about acquiring talent than retaining talent, so you need to move around to make enough money

laurelraven

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And this is why being part of a bargaining class/union is important, none of this making less than new hires doing the same thing, your wages go up with the cost of living so even if you don't get raises, you still don't fall behind inflation

dumples

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I know. But that was the equivalent of jumping every few years to a similar but slightly paying more role. Not grinding to get the biggest promotion and title as possible.

stoly

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At some point, you end up wanting some stability and the constant jumping gets old. Perhaps you finally hit a target salary that makes you go "well I guess that's enough".

BakerBagel

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Except that you wont get eaises to that salary to maintain your current atandard of living. Getting a 2% annual raise with 4% annual inflation is an annual pay cut. They only way to maintain the current standard is to get a new job every few years, or just quit playing the game.

stoly

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Yes, but are you really going to dedicate 40 years of your life to having 20 jobs? At some point, you'll have to give that up.

CaptKoala

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I'm not even 30 yet and I've had 10+. Granted my current gig pays a bit less than the last few, but it pays the bills and it's 9 days out of 10 a very chill time, but when it's shit, it's SHIT.

I will update my CV as many times as it takes to find a job that suits my lifestyle and temperament, however, I won't keep working at a job I hate just to pay the bills, I'll find another.

whoreticulture

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You can get stability through community and friendship. The idea that you need a big salary makes sense because of how we have been raised, to live independently in little units, and it's scary to switch to a less independent life, but it is possible.

Dkarma

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Show me how to pay a mortgage with friendship or shut the fuck up.

whoreticulture

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Oh my friends were talking about this the other day. You can go in on a loan for a pretty big apartment complex together, and it can actually be more affordable than just buying a single family house. You can incorporate too.

Co-op housing has a rich history!!

Are you gonna shut the fuck up now :D

Thetimefarm

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You are still paying a loan though, it might be more affordable but it's still a monthly payment. Pooling funds can allow more flexibility for individuals but it still needs to be paid. As long as real estate is treated like a commodity that can be traded and speculated on normal people will eventually be priced out.

I don't see a meaningful difference between what you described and a condo other than maybe some tax benefits if you incorporate.

stoly

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I think millennials and zoomer are just being open and honest about things that always happened.

This is partially true, but things are actually worse than they used to be in some ways and better in others. I think that, more than anything, the conditions have accelerated a bit more.

I was born in 1976. I remember managers being completely toxic assholes--that was just how it was. But, when I was a kid, there were still pensions--you worked 40 years for a company and they took care of you. I think that both of these things are gone--managers can't really get away with being as cruel as they used to, though I know that's out there. Also employees don't expect a graceful exit at the end of their career.

whoreticulture

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Millennials and gen z know things are worse, and that's why we don't feel like it's worth it to give everything to a company. We don't have to pretend because we know the employers know things are bad.

stoly

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I wonder if you meant to say "millenials and gen z"?

whoreticulture

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👍🏻

Darkard

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Companies expect you to slog your guts out for the false promise of a reward. But being a hard worker, at least in my environment, just means you get the hardest work.

I've had the biggest pay rises by changing job. There's no reason to be ambitious and stay loyal to a company that will run you ragged and offer very little in return.

Asafum

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Unfortunately that's only really true for white collar work. Most factory/trade schmucks like myself get massive pay cuts when we move jobs...

I've been in the same cycle for almost 15 years now... Work 5 years, get raises, have to move, huge pay cut, work 5 years, get back to first exit salary, have to move, huge pay cut, etc etc...

I get sooooo bitter when I see already well paid people talk about getting 30-40% more when changing jobs... Like good for them, but man are things not even in that respect at all. :(

Krauerking

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It's also really hard to jump when you work a niche job. The pay is basically flat no matter where you go and there isn't really anywhere to turn.

PriorityMotif

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It fucking sucks until you've been somewhere for years or get into a maintenance or supervisor position where you can hide most of the day. These employers want you to have experience with the exact machines they have in their plant when the machines are custom made for their exact process. Then there's the employers with absolutely shitty benefits. I just turned down $25/hr because the benefits were complete shit and my initial contact with hr was just blowing smoke up my ass about how good the job was. My advice is to embellish what you did at your last jobs and keep looking and applying. I look for jobs every day during the morning meeting.

corsicanguppy

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stoi

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Source?

mriormro

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Asafum

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I've never been in a union though

Cataphract

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I would love to see comments like this result in a permaban. Fuck, scour the ip's and any connected accounts, torch everything and anything for this user. Tolerance for this kind of deception is half of the worlds problem and why fascism is taking over while we continue culture wars instead of class wars. Take a cue from the Germans and silence these fuckers.

There is no excuse, rebuttal, or "Well actually" from this users statements. Pure, unequivocal propaganda and misinformation being spread on Lemmy. We should be able to do better than "X" at the very least.

sexy_peach

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I don't think that people voluntarily give up, I believe that they are more burnt out etc than ever

octopus_ink

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Once again this X-er is cheering for how aware Millennials and Zoomers seem to be compared to how oblivious I was through my first several decades. Trying to figure out a (non-catastrophic) way out of the rat race myself.

stoly

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Speaking as a child of the late 1970s, this was my experience. We had nobody to look at or talk with this about, it was just Boomers being Boomers and pretending that 1995 was no different than 1975. They really just expected us to hustle and get ahead, when THEY WERE THE ONLY GENERATION IN HISTORY THAT THIS WORKED FOR. It took the 2000 and 2008 crashes before people could actually speak about it.

Make no mistake: the world is now a better place BECAUSE people are talking about this.

jkrtn

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They didn't even hustle. Boomers grew up in basically the only industrialized country that hadn't been bombed to fuck. Good jobs fell into their laps.

corsicanguppy

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Well said.

stringere

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Thank you for giving voice to years of frustration from feeling like I was screaming into the void.

Not sure where you grew up but the suburban midwest was/is a nightmare for thinking, rational, empathetic humans.

stoly

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Suburban south Puget Sound. It's filled with angry alcoholics who never had a life or a real chance and just vote Republican.

I now am in a nice apartment in one of them there anarchic cities of whatever they were called during Lockdown, working for a university and living a life that my family hates.

stringere

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I miss Seattle. For 9 years I finally got to feel sane.

Moved back to the midwest for good reasons but believe me we're getting back out as soon as we can.

You really described it well:

t's filled with angry alcoholics who never had a life or a real chance and just vote Republican.

And no amount of reason or logic will get them to believe they're being duped.

stoly

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And no amount of reason or logic will get them to believe they’re being duped.

Worse: they have been trained to act in their own disinterest, dressing it up in terms like "personal responsibility". They are basically the monkeys dancing by the organ grinder.

Sabata11792

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My job is cozy and not too stressful. Its a shame I will have to quit in a few years once inflation catches up again. I'd stick around if wages stay livable but that's a strech.

Still living paycheck to paycheck but it seems best I can do. Worse, im afraid if getting pushed up to the bosses seat. Im not trying to move up unless its life changing money. I don't know the pay, but I dealt with being on call before and that was hell. Last thing I need is to burn out , I don't know if I can live through that again.

HubertManne

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yeah I hate the bs of trying to push management stuff on ya when its not part of the job you signed up on. Certainly aint doing it without a hefty pay increase. Why do all the bootstraps folks not want to pay for anything. I mean I know why. They did not get rich by writing checks.

stoly

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That's when you say yes, pad your resume, and the find an actual managerial job with the extra pay. Think of it is free training, but only take it if you either want it or plan to leave.

HubertManne

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training. lol.

Sabata11792

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I may do it if the pay is impressive but seems the intention is to move me up. I dont even know if I can actually pull off the job without looking like a clown.

HubertManne

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thats like all jobs really. at least in tech. go from feeling like an unstoppable god to being the biggest fool that ever failed to fool a fool.

Sabata11792

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Potentially to sysadmin for the building, from being just the tech guy that kinda stagnated. Not much I been learning on the job other than the setup. I don't know if I could even manage to land it though.

Over an entire life worth of experience difference between me and the boss.

ChunkMcHorkle

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deleted by creator

Sabata11792

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Holy crap, man.

stoly

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I found my "level" and just stayed there. Am comfortable and don't have to hustle. I could do or earn more, but I don't think it would be worth it to my life.

Sabata11792

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I'm afraid I'm going to get pushed forward just to make ends meet, get stressed, and become miserable again.

stoly

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I suffered through decades of poverty. Managed to get through a bachelors and then a masters, and now work in a comfortable position that I enjoy. Sadly, you have to get to that masters level to really get ahead and that, for the most part, is only available to the children of upper middle class parents. Either you need to force your way through it or just get by for life.

beeple

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Military service is another "fantastic" way to get higher education

HubertManne

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wasn't the Xer stereotype a slacker that did not really run the race?

stoly

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This is because the parents of Boomers invested in their children but Boomers did not invest in their children. We were shat out and expected to get a job and "just do it" without support.

HubertManne

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Xers tend to have the silent generation as parents unless they are younger ones. 20 years seperates generations which is getting to the time when folks have kids and boomers were the first to start putting it off till more like 30 than 20.

stoly

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Boomers produced a great number of Millenials even though the majority surely came from Gen X.

HubertManne

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basically X started in the 60's so if they were impregnated before 80 it was likely illegal. Im sure though that plenty of older Xers had kids in their 20's though.

mmcintyre

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Yeah, but that stereotype was only because we didn't have families or places of our own to take care of yet. We got older and almost all of us (not me, tho) joined the race alongside everyone else.

octopus_ink

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Yep, but it's been pretty hard to exist while also remaining true to that ethos. Never been a ladder climber, but I have a corporate job working for a good boss at a good company that still sucks my soul away.

Recently I've realized I'm old enough that the end of the road doesn't feel so far away as it once did. Would be good to be able to just enjoy my family, but there's the little problem of being able to afford to live during retirement. :)

HubertManne

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im there and even feel I do a good days work with my job but I work at my pace and at my current compensation 40 hours and no more.

stoly

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This is why I work in public sector, with a solid retirement plan, and put in an additional 15% into retirement. I'm not making the big bucks now but am saving them for later.

prole

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As those people have gotten older, that has seemed more and more aspirational than the reality.

Hackerman_uwu

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Gen X and you’ve never heard of Slackers?

Bruh.

octopus_ink

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Not sure where you are getting that from. It was a movie, not a blueprint for my life. :)

IME even the folks I knew who fully fit that stereotype were still not as aware as what I am seeing from Millenials and Z today. (some were I'm sure)

Asclepiaz

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Getting laid off from my tech job was both the scariest and most freeing moment in my life. It's been over a year now and I've transitioned into doing just a few hours of contract work.

dhork

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It's really all about defining what "success" means. And "Ambition". I've always looked at "ambition" as a negative trait, at least among my peers in the workplace. Someone who is ambitious will not hesitate to step on me if it gets them further up the ladder. But someone who is happy in the role they have, and doesn't always have their focus on the next thing, will be a much better team player.

That doesn't mean having no goals whatsoever, or never learning anything new. But it does mean establishing your own goals, that bring you your own fulfillment. And if they don't coincide with what your boss wants, that doesn't make you a bad person, it might just make the job a bad fit.

seriousconsideration

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The social contract was broken decades ago. What is the point of trying to build up society when that society is constantly moving the goalposts? Society wouldn't be able to function if everyone was a doctor or lawyer or hedge fund manager, why do we act like people who earn less than 100k a year don't deserve a house, access to education, access to healthcare, and access to healthy food and clean water?

nexguy

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Just make sure to save enough for retirement as well as bare minimum bills. No need to hand millions in retirement but something will go a long way.

corsicanguppy

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I'll be sure to pay into my retirement fund from my nothing left surplus; or dip into my avocado toast and rent fund after that. :-D

nexguy

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Simple, just multiply nothing by 15% and put that away for safe keeping! Multiply by 7% every year and you will really have something!

Ultragigagigantic

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Intentional heroin overdose.

doublejay1999

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The good thing about this plague of pieces that begin with “<insert generation> are <insert lifestyle> “ is that you immediately know they are not serious

moitoi

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People should forget that millennials are born in the rat race. It changes the whole perception of it. It makes it easier to quit it as they never experienced something else.

We are at a systemic change of civilization. We passed the edge and can't go back. Whatever people can say, we are in a run to something new. Whatever people will do to stop the change, it will fail. These type of change aren't linear either and last for a certain amount of time.

Millennials are at the front of this as the first gen to enter the change followed by the gen Z.

beefsquatch

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https://youtu.be/VsVcSHGcmUQ?si=UspEHLrt53QdArwh

Ultragigagigantic

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What's this link? Try to describe it. I used to make this mistake when sharing links

Hackerman_uwu

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Bit late to the Slacker party there millennials. But ya, keep believing everything that happened to you has happened for the first time I’m in history.

Ultragigagigantic

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It's the 1% vs the working class, n9t generation vs generation.

Don't let this main stream media conglomerate tell you what to think. Don't let me tell you what to think.

Skkorm

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I think your boss needs his nob polished again, get on it

Hackerman_uwu

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Like, whatever man.

nutsack

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my time is more valuable than a boat or a new car or whatever

melpomenesclevage

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nutsack

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thank you Steven

mrcleanup

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Will that's not a very constructive comment, is it? I wonder if you wanted to try it you could actually add something meaningful to the conversation?

Hackerman_uwu

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It’s a very constructive comment if you consider that the author of this piece has failed to learn from history and will continue to do so, you’re welcome.

Mobile

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You are unfairly criticizing all millennials by using this author as the sole representative.

Hackerman_uwu

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Have a poke around at the pissy ass responses I’ve had to this comment then consider that Reality Bites was a love letter to an entire generation who felt this way twenty years or more before this article came out.

Failure to recognise history is the very DNA of the millennial. Bite me.

melpomenesclevage

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No? Robert bonnot had it close enough to right way before you did.