Not me usually, but if I've been hoarding an item for years and throw it out, you better believe I'm gonna need that item a week after I toss it
I have a strategy to avoid this. You might find it helpful also.
I go through stuff and set aside in boxes anything that I think might be useful, but I don’t really want or need. This brings that item into my mind, the same way throwing it out does. I label the boxes with the date, and either donate or trash, and put stuff in accordingly.
If a box sits unopened for 6 months, I toss it or donate it without opening it and seeing what’s inside. If I open a box to use something, I put the new date on it and reset the clock.
Then there’s no pain from actually getting rid of stuff. There’s no “man I just threw that out!” regret.
How does "had" add anything? how does one "had better." how is that grammar, how is it semantically useful. Its just an extra verb someone decided sounded good in middle english that weve been lugging around all this time. Its also not the correct tense for that sentence; for the future perfect tense in which the sentence was written, shouldnt it be "you've better?" or perhaps "you will have better?" even that isn't grammar though, and it doesn't actually semantically mean "you would be better to believe..." which is what both "you better" and "you'd better" are intended to be understood as. In my opinion.
tl;dr:
you* better believe
It's more of a collocation, with the implication being "you'd better believe it (or else)". But it's not obligatory, I agree. More of a variant.
Yep, I'm an inveterate purger. I have tried to control the purging with a policy of hanging onto things such as power tools for one year past its last use. And almost invariably, about two weeks after I finally got rid of the thing, I need it again.
In my case, I have a very small living space, so hanging onto things just means they're in my way. But I was like this even when I had a large house.
Well, the original post says throwing away stuff you need, while the person you replied to says they don't throw stuff away at all, so there seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding...
Yes, my mother is one of those people.
She was freaking out about all the stuff I had left in her attic when I moved out (and overseas) years before. I was confused because I didn't leave that much. And sure enough, my brother looked up there and all that clutter consisted of three small boxes sitting in the middle of a totally empty attic.
Every few years she throws out or gives away anything she considers unused or unwanted, including things that to others would have significant sentimental value. And often she ends up having to buy new items because she threw that same thing out a year before.
She is the anti-hoarder.
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That’s how many of us start in the direction of hoarding: “this can be fixed, it would be a shame to just throw it away”.
You could argue it’s just too cheap and easy to buy a new thing, so old things are no longer worth fixing, and guilt at throwing out is vestigial
I will hoard things but not to the point that some Americans hoard too that even pay for extra storage because they don't have more space at their house. That's excessive hoarding.
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Yeah, storage units have become a huge industry. While they serve legitimate needs, such as people temporarily between homes, I do have to wonder if most of their business should go to therapists
Yes. My parents run a storage place. Can confirm a LOT of the units are full of junk. The price of storage very quickly exceeds the value of the stuff in the units and then the people just keep paying for them for years, never actually accessing them a lot of times.
Plenty are businesses storing records, or a lawn company storing equipment, plenty between houses, or homeless people renting a small unit to keep their stuff safe. Some are like an extra garage to store vehicles.
Lots are just junk, maybe with one or two things of legitimate value, and then 10 feet of junk. Some piled to the ceiling. One lady had 7 units piled to the ceiling, stuff just shoved in there. She was paying for this storage for like a decade. In the end it's like she paid off a small house just in storage fees. My mom felt so bad, and constantly tried to convince the lady to just let the stuff go. She just needed an actual therapist :(
Oh yes of course for that kind of stuff they are great but just to hoard stuff its just insane to me.
I'm a condo superintendent and I've made so much money on the good stuff that these upper middle class people throw away.
I've thrown things away that I know I could fix because I simply didn't have time. Working long hours to get by, and investing time in family and friends was more important, so it would take so long to get the thing fixed that something else about it would have broken just from waiting around. Eventually, I decided I can live without the thing or it's too important to daily life to go without is as long as it would take me to get it going.
Even more extreme, actually. I knew one person who was actually, honestly, voluntarily homeless. For years. Living on the street, no car. No obvious mental health issues, had family who would have been happy to take him in, strong social network, active in the community. Didn't want to be tied to all of the things ownership of stuff brings, and was willing to make the many and extreme sacrifices that entails.
To be clear, this is not the normal homelessness experience. I've known too many homeless people, and the right-wing conspiracy theories of middle to upper class panhandlers on every corner are utter nonsense. Ideologically motivated self justifying cruelty inspiring bullshit. Even when homeless people I have known said it was by choice, I usually knew enough about their situation to recognize it as a face saving salve to their pride (a hard thing to come by in the lower rungs of society, and very precious). But there was that one.
I have become one. I lost everything in my life four times somewhat involuntarily. The fifth time I did it intentionally.
Yeah after loosing everything multiple times I developed an anti-attachment kind of feeling to things and people.
It's a boring just surviving type of life now. I do what I need to to survive but have no intentions of ownership on anything and don't feel like investing so much time in relationships.
But almost two years ago I bought my first car (I was 44) and I don't want to loose it as I love driving around aimlessly, it keeps my mind busy has a great sound for music and I control the climate. (It's always too cold or hot at work and too cold at home). If it was not for the cost I would spend most of my time driving but I have to preserve the vehicle as long as possible and don't have much money for maintenance amd gas.
It's weird how I could loose almost anything and would not be phased by it. But please let me keep my car, it's the only reason I wake up to go to work and have some hope for the future. But my insurance got raised by 25% last year apparently because other people are bad drivers (I was told too many claims cost insurers too much but I never made a claim, so cause of too many bad drivers I have to pay for them, fuck them charge them or don't let them drive why me !) , gas and parts and everything necessary has gone up and if I don't get a substantial raise I won't be able to keep up.
I live in my car. I love being on the road. I spent the winter around Tucson but I am itching to get back on the road. People are getting to be terrible drivers, new cars are outrageously priced and my insurance has skyrocketed too.
I have learned to sit in my car rather than moving. That helps. I have learned that I can buy coffee at a coffee shop for less than it costs to drive around, so I treat myself.
the need to purge belongings is a form of clutching for control over your life, usually with the idea that one is starting anew in some way, and can be a symptom of borderline personality disorder in my experience
i wouldn't compare it to minimalism
Yeah, there is a whole lifestyle around that. Or well, maybe it's more like a religion. It's called minimalism.
I live that way. Religion is on point for some of the people in the community. But most people are chill and just don't want to feel bothered by having "stuff" around they haven't used in ages and that just catches dust. For example I love reading books. Most of them I sell or give away to charity afterwards, if I'm sure I will not read them again, so that others can read them too and a new one doesn't have to be produced.
Me. I come from a zero waste family. I hate buying stuff and use as little of things as I can. Don't really sell stuff but own as little stuff as I need
But not everything sparks joy tho, some things you keep around because they’re a necessity (like cable adapters and shoe salt stain removers)
I unironically use this one all the time, because it captures both sentimental and practical value for me. I just compare the thing itself with the joy of having that much more clean empty space.
Yeah my mate used to throw out all his spare computer cables or excess material from a home repair job. He's since learned to keep them
It's worth keeping old computer stuff, just in case. But ever so often you have to get rid of the truly obsolete stuff. I tossed out several kilos of old analogue cables a few years ago.
To the chagrin of my dad, my mom. We went through a period of time growing up where things like a waffle iron, ice cream machine, or bread maker were bought by Dad and discarded by Mom like 3 times in about a year "because you never use them."
My ex wife was like this. Would throw out kids toys and get rid of 'extra' kitchen knives without any communication.
My friend buys a boat, uses it twice, then sells it. A couple months later he buys a boat... This has happened for years. Either he's really picky about the boat he wants to fish on, or he actually hates boats and fishing but can't admit it to himself.
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My thought as well. If he can buy it used and sell it for pretty close to what he paid, this might just be a more complicated yet flexible way of renting a boat.
I wish I were like this myself.
A couple summers ago I list almost everything I owned, due to being unable to pay the bill on a storage unit.
It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve never felt more free and whole.
I had a friend who lost the family house (100+ year old farmhouse) with 4 generations worth of heirlooms and antiques and so on in a bushfire a few years ago. He will never ever admit it to his family but he swears its the best thing that ever could have happened.
He never could have sold great grandads dining room table he built with his own 2 hands it was the size of a fucking snooker table and weighed about the same and took up the biggest room in the house... now its just gone