Yeah happened to me too in the late 30s. This is the real midlife crisis, trying to come to terms with existential nihilism, it's not buying a fucking red convertible..
I was dealing with some pretty intense nihilism after my beloved dog passed away. I had thoughts like "Why put effort into anything when in 100/1000/10000 years everything I love and care about will be dead, gone, and forgotten?" It's a terrible philosophy to have and live with, incredibly depressing. I was able to escape mine through meditation with some chemical assistance. Realized that just because things don't last forever doesn't mean they don't have meaning. The fact that we're alive and conscious, experiencing things everyday, means our lives have value. The cosmic odds of us existing here and now are staggering, we're so lucky to be alive! So, to me the value is in the experiences, in the day to day.
(early 30s, also bought sports car)
I have gone through the same thought process, and I like to think of it as positive nihilism. The fact that everything is temporary and nothing really matters means that meaning & importance are created in our minds. That can help to give yourself permission to spend your limited time on things that (for whatever reason) matter to YOU.
Edit: early 40s here. I got a fun fast car in my mid 20s. I plan to get another one in a few years, but my mid life crisis involved building a koi pond in my back yard and getting more family pets in general. It helps that I turned 40 in 2020 when there was a lot of time to spend around the house. It’s totally a “me” thing, and I love it every day.
I tried to lean into that as well, something like nothing matters so you can do whatever makes you happy! I couldn't quiet get it to work for myself, but I know several very happy people living by that philosophy.
The koi pond + pets solution definitely sounds like the right move! Having pets during the pandemic kept me sane.
If you don't mind me asking, what kind of fun car did you get and what are you thinking of getting? I'm a big car guy and love hearing about people's cars :D
Absolutely! When my sensible reliable used ‘99 Honda Accord sedan(with a 5 speed!) blew a freaking cylinder valve on a road trip, I got myself a 2006 WRX. Damned good car. It kept me safe when it got totaled by some asshat in a pickup truck, and got replaced with the family SUV. But we have a 2012 Mazda 3 too, and that’s what I drive on my back country road to work!
My next car, once I’m ready, I hope to essentially be the electric upgrade to the WRX. The best example right now is probably a Tesla model 3 performance. Basically, dual motor AWD with the instant low-end torque and super car 0-60 of ~3 seconds — if that can be part of my daily life for normal-car-ish cost (given that I am also into cars) it seems like a loss to not have that experience in my life.
There are already some great alternatives out there, but given the changing market right now, whichever car I get might not even exist yet.
Nice! I had a 1995 Accord coupe, a 2005 Accord coupe, and a 2015 Accord coupe. Loved those cars, amazing daily drivers that had a splash of fun and style. It's truly a tragedy they discontinued it.
WRXs are rad, excellent choices! A friend of mine rented a Model 3 Performance and took me for a ride in it. The acceleration is absurd!
Why put effort into anything when in 100/1000/10000 years everything I love and care about will be dead, gone, and forgotten?
I had a slightly different question: what's the point of doing anything if it'll end? In other words: anything achievable is not worth doing.
I haven't really found an answer to this, it just stopped bothering me, though one potential answer was: happiness and wisdom. Wisdom is unachievable because there's always more to understand, and happiness is not a stable state since we're hardwired not to be perpetually happy because we wouldn't do anything if we were. Thus those two things can be chased always, they don't end, and then you die. After that you have no more problems.
(Mid 20s, don't like driving)
Do you too have a letter from the municipal that you need to open but keep stalling because you somehow know yet don’t know what’s in it ?
The hot take I've heard is that our ancient ancestors had a much higher chance of being killed by predators, so being on edge was an evolutionary advantage. According to this idea, the fear and dread of today is a remnant of our past.
Nah, I think that overstates the extent to which our ancestors were the hunter more than the hunted and ignores the social dimension. An early human might have been at risk for predators when they were out alone hunting or gathering but when you're with the group I'd think that's a much smaller threat. Having to deal with social threats from within the group, now, that's ever-present. And still present today!
Also, after reading a book about the evolution of agency that suggests the evolutionary innovation of humans is that we're a goal-seeking system that's able to function as a part of a larger goal-seeking system (collective action)... I wonder how much that can account for existential dread. We have a diffuse drive to be part of something greater than ourselves but it's not always clear what that should be.
I wouldn’t read too much into that, evolutionary psychology is a pseudoscience: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Criticism_of_evolutionary_psychology
Psychology is already a field full of rough concepts, bad statistics, and low certainties, we mostly have no clue why we’re doing things right now. Adding millions of years and unprovable speculation surely doesn’t help.
If evolutionary psychology is pseudoscience (which is debatable to begin with), it's that way not because our evolutionary history doesn't inform our psychology but because our understanding of both those things is too immature for the questions most people are are trying to answer. But that in itself depends on the questions and the level of answer one finds acceptable. I've found Michael Tomasello's book "The Evolution of Agency" perfectly proportionate in the kinds of questions it seeks to answer given the information it has, and I think the wild speculations I extrapolate from it are totally fine to share in random internet conversations.
Climate change is going to kill us all reasonably slowly, but it's OK because we're in the brink of nuclear war which will kill us quickly... Unfortunately, where I live isn't a historic nuclear target, but areas around me are, so I'll not be vaporised, and have to endure the chaos...
But... It's pizza day tomorrow so there's that.
Damn dude...
It's pizza day for me today! About to go pick it up right now actually. Stay strong 💪 thru the wait!!
Cheese pizza, pan crust, jalapenos, extra cheese, well done.
Was delicious and they actually baked it extra for once, even tho I ask for it ever time.
If there actually is nuclear war the fallout will affect the whole world. Even if you aren't near the blast you'll get a nice dose of radiation on the wind.
Nuclear weapons are big and devastating but... An hour away from a modern weapon detonation - I give you good chances.
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/W1xwTqgzQ_g?list=PLIILL6veL7802G94eulr2fzj0wz7CwKqh
https://piped.video/watch?v=3b--bevX0zc
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Oh wow. YT could not have been ready for me to play the little theme tune. They usually expect things more like eps2.4_m4ster_s1ave.aes
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=rbN8YHOEebs
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
People are worried about getting the tops of their heads cropped off. Its become an epidemic.
I have anxiety. It's funny because I don't feel anything until it happens.its like my brain remembers "hey you should feel bad" and it happens, otherwise I'm cool as a cucumber
Does yours feel like an unwanted guest arriving in your consciousness? Like you feel it arrive before you even start having anxious thoughts?
I definitely do feel it arrive. I'm not sure how to word it except it feels like everything is going to turn out bad and I have to talk myself manually that everything will be fine. This goes for things as simple as a haircut , meeting or any kind of socializing.
Yep, that lines up pretty well with my experience! Glad to know I have a kindred spirit, haha
I, for one, almost died at a mass shooting.
My body has left in a permanent state of pain and suffering, where every few days the pain intensifies and there is next to nothing I can do about it.
What about you?
I'm in a permanent constant state of pain everyday. My entire existence is pain. I'm not sure what else you need me to go through to prove my existential dread.
Existential dread by definition has no specific definable cause. That's not existential dread.
I don't know why you're gate keepint existential dread, but here is the APA's definition: "a profound, deep-seated psychic or spiritual condition of insecurity and despair in relation to the human condition and the meaning of life."
I'm feeling plenty of despair to the human condition and the meaning of life. I wake up everyday and ask myself why live and exist at all when existence is nothing but pain.
Why is everyone so anxious nowadays?
For me it's financial, though as a middle-aged person I am nowadays also plagued with metaphysical questions.
About the financial part, I'm actually very well-off but the world has become such a complex place (or it always was and I am only realizing it now at my age) and I have little to no control over most aspects of it. I don't want to lose what I have worked towards because of geo-politics, climate change impact, global recession, or such things. It's not an existential crisis for me but there is some amount of anxiety and dread that I previously did not have.
Dread is a Reddit-like dark web discussion forum featuring news and discussions around darknet markets. The site's administrators go by the alias of Paris and HugBunter.
