Am I too ripped?

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You should really think about penis reduction surgery.

I think that might kill me

If you still have your Christmas tree up in March, you might be the kinda guy to paint abs & penis onto your skin

When you're this well-endowed, it's always Christmas at your place.

Bro is cut like the wither

I don’t think that’s an approved use of the Ab Abber 2000.

No