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Autistic Literal Speech vs. NT seeking hidden meaning

Alyssa on Instagram: "Literally what even are the neurotypicals doing - good communication seems to me like saying what you mean, right? 😅 Original: @venusfrogtrap Transcript below for second half of video (I'm sorry I forgot to add captions!!) So the other day at work at one of my many jobs (#adhd) I had a feedback session, and they told me my communication wasn’t clear (which I don’t think I’ve ever been told before). And the example they used was that I asked “what is so-and-so’s job?”. And she said, “I knew exactly what you meant — I knew that you meant she’s not pulling her weight, why is she on the team, and why hadn’t we fired her yet.” And I was like, hold up! I asked what her job was because I didn’t know what her job was. And I wanted you to tell me what her job was. And she said, that wasn’t clear, and you should give more context when you ask a question. So I was like, ok — I don’t know what her job is… What is her job? #audhd #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #feedback #adhdwork #healthycommunication"

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsqfXTGonhJ/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

69K likes, 1,432 comments - alyssa.zing on May 25, 2023: "Literally what even are the neurotypicals doing - good communication seems to me like saying what..."

Alyssa on Instagram: "Literally what even are the neurotypicals doing - good communication seems to me like saying what you mean, right? 😅

Original: @venusfrogtrap

Transcript below for second half of video (I'm sorry I forgot to add captions!!)

So the other day at work at one of my many jobs (#adhd) I had a feedback session, and they told me my communication wasn’t clear (which I don’t think I’ve ever been told before). And the example they used was that I asked “what is so-and-so’s job?”. And she said, “I knew exactly what you meant — I knew that you meant she’s not pulling her weight, why is she on the team, and why hadn’t we fired her yet.” And I was like, hold up! I asked what her job was because I didn’t know what her job was. And I wanted you to tell me what her job was. And she said, that wasn’t clear, and you should give more context when you ask a question. So I was like, ok — I don’t know what her job is… What is her job?
#audhd #actuallyautistic #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #feedback #adhdwork #healthycommunication"

Instagram reel transcript: "So you know how autistic people just talk and we literally mean like exactly what we say?"

"So like I realized that when I'm talking to a neurotypical person, even when I'm saying exactly what I'm saying, they're looking for like, the meeting underneath it, which is nothing."

"So the other day at work...I had a feedback session and one of the things they told me was that my communication wasn't clear... And their example was I asked 'What is so-and-so's job?' And she said, 'I knew exactly what you meant. I knew that you meant, 'She's not pulling her weight. Why is she on the team? Why haven't you fired her yet?"

"And I was like, hold up. I asked about her job was because I didn't know what her job was and I wanted you to tell me what her job was. And she was like, 'Oh. Well, that wasn't clear and you should really give more context when you ask a question.' And I was like, 'Okay..?? so...'I don't know what her job is...What is.. her.. job?"

3 comments

DirigibleProtein

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“Say what you mean and mean what you say”. Why is that so difficult for normies to understand?

Deestan

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While more manageable by NT people, I think this is clearly a toxic workplace where people are taught to fear their work can't stand up to scrutiny. So anything that even counts as looking directly at their work is a threat, and any communication must be scrutinized for hidden threats.

lvxferre

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Literally what even are the neurotypicals doing

Conversational implicatures. It's basically the reason why plenty people say something, when they mean something else.

However what that coworker is doing is a bit beyond conversational implicatures, she's reading too much into what Alyssa said. That's clear because she then complained that Alyssa didn't give her enough context - in other words, there was no context to implicate anything, and yet she still saw an implicature there. I call this a "ghost" implicature, dunno if there's some actual name for that. But to keep it short, the coworker is likely the one to blame for the miscommunication, not Alyssa herself.