Oh shit, is that a sign of ADHD? This happens to me a lot and it's really tough to overcome, I end up jumping between tasks to do something else, remember the important scary thing, stare at it for a bit then task bounce again.
ADHD: Your memory is now crap and little shots of dopamine hit with new things, causing concentration to change unwillingly.
GAD: Notice all the things and above all fear everything, especially what will interrupt me next
So it's certainly a sign of anxiety but not necessarily ADHD? That's what you said there. It's not necessarily either.
They often present together, and definitely have a positive feedback loop between them.
Which is why the distinction. Just like sniffles are not necessarily a cold and coughing isn't necessarily covid.
I am not sure if laziness really exists. But there are countless reasons why someone can have this issue. Additional ones are: a physical lack of energy (nutrition deficit, sleep deficit, etc.), decision or option paralysis, problems handling emotions, trauma, .....
Idk, my parents and teachers were 100% sure it was laziness for years, they didn't seem confused about it at all. It wasn't until I was diagnosed as an adult in college that there was any confusion.
That reminds me: isn't it weird how Confucius seemed so certain about everything? Much moreso than most neurotypicals, even!
Well, they were wrong. They may not have felt confused. But they were confusing laziness for ADHD.
Sign of executive dysfunction, which can arise as the result of ADHD, anxiety, or other disorders.
I'm really liking the posts along these lines because there's so much associated with ADHD that I haven't been aware was part of it and it's so accuratly described here. There's kind of this sense of living like a double agent or something, except in that scenario the person knows what it is they're hiding. I've gone through life having unconsciously learned that the actual reasons I do things aren't acceptable or at least not explainable so I'm always having to improvise something more plausible or different. It's sorta like lying, but not exactly, but there's the ever present fear that I'll be exposed for... something.
I almost feel like this life time of training would actually have helped me really be a secret agent if only all the other symptoms of ADHD weren't completely debilitating and would sabotage such work terribly.
It's sorta like lying, but not exactly, but there's the ever present fear that I'll be exposed for... something.
I think what you're looking for is "masking."
I prepare 45 minutes before, then 15, then 5 and then I'm late and my prep was useless.
One day though I'll be a star
I'm so lucky that rarely had to work in an environment with daily stand ups. One time I did and I kinda managed for a few months until one day I just had "an episode" and got up and walked out saying "sorry, I can't do this". I was also very lucky to be working for an employer who supported me through the following weeks of "sick" leave and a role change.
That's amazing, I'm so happy it turned out ok.
Since my current team's timezone is all over the place, we do our standup async via text, so it's not so bad. But still having to explain "What did you get done yesterday?" to the Slackbot at the beginning of my day is not always a great feeling.
This is pretty good. I remember seeing it a while ago.
Realizing I had all this wall -- emotional stuff -- in the way was a help. I could see what problem I actually had to solve first.
I find it helps to analyze what I am feeling and why and kind of talk through it.
And sometimes looking at the initial steps of getting started helps. If I can get started on one or two simple actions it is often enough to get over the hump and keep going.
E.g. I have this report to write ugh ..but let's see.... The first thing is I just need to open Visio and then the next hard thing is to find the architecture diagram...so maybe just open up that one team website cuz it might be there. So I go and do that and now I'm locked into finding the diagram, then starting to work on it for the report, and I can go step wise from there.
A big problem is just having the "juice" to start. If I haven't exercised in a while and am falling into depression, forget it. It's almost impossible. Whereas it is much easier if I am feeling good due to regular exercise.
My Rx helps, especially in the morning about 20-30 minutes after taking it. If I don't waste it on goofing off lol.
90% of the posts I never actually post are because I spend half an hour explaining my thought process and then I see the huge wall of text and then go "ah fuck that."
I don't know if it helps, but this is not really a lie, and you shouldn't feel bad about saying it. You have your own reason for not being able to do something you committed to. Someone else might have a different reason that is equally personal that they don't want to share. "I forgot and I'm sorry" is a socially acceptable way to take responsibility without sharing specifics and potentially making someone else feel confusion or pity.
You can still work on the "why wasn't I able to do the thing I felt I needed to do" without worrying about "why wasn't I honest about my reason".
Just my two cents though.
Sorry but the anxiety that accompanies my add says that your two cents are good in all cases but mine because my contacts will both know I'm lying and care deeply
Yeah! Duck contacts! Let's put our phones on silent under the pile of unopened mail! I'll never find mine there
Why are you looking through my windows at my piles of important mail I’m going to sort through and shred in 6 months? Get off my lawn!
basically no symptom of ADHD is exclusive to ADHD. But as a rule, executive dysfunction as described here will happen much more frequently and for much more mundane tasks for people with ADHD when compared to people without.
It's not exclusively an ADHD, neurotypical, OR neurodivergence trait. Severity and effects on life matter. It can be a trait associated with a myriad of executive dysfunction disorders (e.g. Autistic Inertia), ADHD, anxiety, and some personality disorders as well. Finally, an otherwise mentally neurotypical person will behave the same way given a big enough stressor.
Severity and effects on life, that's the first measure to look at before asking "But everyone is like X or Y, sometimes".
I get like this with some spesific tasks. Other related tasks I breeze through quickly, but when I get reminded about the one I struggle like this with I just freeze.
As far as I know I am what they call neurotypical but I do wonder if I have some attention defisit at times.
Attention is really another aspect of executive function along with self motivation.
No doubt everyone sometimes struggles to get motivated to start something, once in a while. And no doubt people sometimes find it hard to focus on a thing. Or have trouble shifting their focus from one thing to another.
With ADHD, these and the many other symptoms tend to manifest quite frequently and have a significant impact on all areas of your life. Your career suffers, your relationships suffer, etc.
as someone whose diagnosis focusses on ASD with no specific reference to ADHD, this is still familiar.
My coverup is "I couldn't find the opportunity" to people who know, and "it left my mind" to outsiders
Normalize not demanding explanations, and start accepting 'I just couldn't' as a valid answer. Don't let normie neurotypicals define what is "Normal'.
Competent at what specifically? Basic daily life like chores and dishes? External motivators are way better than internal. I never clean "for myself". I clean because my wife needs it for her emotional well-being, and I clean because it would be embarrassing for guest or maintenance to see it.
Other potential options are therapy and medication, but I acknowledge the privelage of having them and that many people dont have that as an option. And obviously I'm just some dude so take it all as anecdotal evidence.
But for me it comes down to I will rarely do things for myself, so mentally framing them as for other people makes it easier
You're very right, I'm very good at doing stuff for other people. Weird isn't it. It's probably the only method that's ever worked.
That's not really an answer.
The things that make people feel/act this way are typically the really important stuff that has to get done or else there are consequences.
We can't just accept 'i just couldn't' in many of these situations.
But sometimes "I just couldn't ' is the answer. You dont mad that a fish can't climb a tree. First you ask why the fish needs to be in the tree. And then if it really does, you help the fish get into the tree. Standing behind it shouting words of encouragement or tgreats mean nothing when a fish can't climb. Far too often people get caught up so much on blaming and shaming people for mistakes or failures that it turns relationships sour and the original problem still doesn't get solved.
You're not the only one. My shrink says it's pretty common for adults to break down and cry after getting their diagnosis, because it's confirmation that there's something actually wrong and they're not just a lazy sack of shit.
Also why, despite how weird it is to neurotypicals, people celebrate being diagnosed haha
Yup. Wonderful memories of childhood when people were asking me "what are you trying to achieve" and I'm just sitting there thinking "I just told you I can not function like you want me to".
Currently trying to get the relevant Government Agency to stop calling me about my mental health issues and just e-mail me instead.
I think I may have ADD. But I think I also have autism. Now I've read about PDD-NOS, but is that still a thing? And how easy would it be to diagnose my cocktail of things?
ADHD is usually fairly easy to get evaluated for, depending on where you're located. Getting evaluated for autism as an adult is usually much more difficult.
Pretty sure it's been changed around a bit lately but for shits n giggles, look up NLD (Neurological Learning Disorder) and see if that fits as well :p
It's more helpful to think of it as one thing, your thing. Better than collecting diagnoses as some people are fond of doing. All these conditions overlap because the etiology overlaps.
Personally I was diagnosed with NDD-NOS, basically the same as what you're describing, with the understanding that it most closely matches ADHD-PI in terms of specific disorders.
I agree. One single diagnosis in which stuff fits is probably better than multiple seperate ones.
Interesting, I did not know about NDD-NOS. I'll have a read. Thanks.
The 7 stages are:
shock and denial. ------ You are here
pain and guilt.
anger and bargaining.
depression.
the upward turn.
reconstruction and working through.
acceptance and hope.
I dunno if there's anything to "self diagnosis chambers." I can only speak to my experience.
I'm an adult woman with late diagnosed ADHD. I became belligerent when diagnosed 4 years ago and refused to believe it (skipping ahead in the story) and now I hang out in ADHD spaces online because it's always helpful to feel like you're not alone. And because women tend to present with inattentive type, and largely went undiagnosed as children (since our suffering tends to be less disruptive and thus, easy to ignore).
You read like a neurotypical coming into our space like you're welcome and lecturing people who have a learning disability like anybody asked. Buzz off.
ADHD is considered a disability (in the US) under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Which is why a person with an ADHD diagnosis is allowed to ask for reasonable accommodations.
The more you know.
Bonus reply; I would know. I work for the Department of Developmental and Intellectual Disabilities caring for disabled adults. Knowing the ADA is actually my bread and butter.
But go off on why it's not a disability.
How about instead of your obvious personal problems with this very real disability that I, and others, suffer from, why don't you provide me with a scientific paper? A peer-reviewed study? Literally anything other than stating your feeling as fact?
I tell ya what. Tell me what country you're in and I'll provide evidence that it's considered a disability there.
In many different scenarios I'd be right there with you, but I think you might be missing the point here.
People who are raised by people who don't struggle as much (and consequently are unable to relate or empathize meaningfully with ND struggles) are likely to grow up thinking they are broken and that they must hide who they are to avoid inconveniencing others. This might seem quaint, but think of it in terms of survival - not politeness.
When you see people commenting things like "omg I thought it was just me" or whatever, it's possible that this is the first time someone has ever felt like they weren't fundamentally alone. Once we get to this point, we can start to feel a bit more confident about learning more and/or seeking help.
And finally... your argument, "it's just less", is really fucking stupid. How is magnitude not relevant? Did you think before you wrote this, or are you just embarrassingly confident by default?
I wanna show this guy that 79-year-old lady's post screaming, "You mean laundry isn't supposed to be agony?"
Jesus. What privileged behavior.
They really don't
I see people say shit like "every person does this" a lot of the time on adhd posts, but then people also wonder why I'm "so weird". Maybe it's because I have a condition that a neuropsychologist diagnosed me with and it's how it affects me? And that I'm actually different and not just "making it up" because it's an invisible disability?
Just because you don't see it doesn't mean it not real. Or because you yourself are not as neurotypical as you might think.
So now you do admit it's a disability, and instead of fucking off, you move the goalposts to how everyone here should verify their medical history for you?
Get bent. Seriously. Nevermind that I just replied to you upthread, I'm done with your ass.