The trick is to have the things obstruct the door, so you're forced to become consciously aware of them as you leave. Nothing short of that (or a spreadsheet for packing if you're going overnight) works for me.
Next time I'll leave a note describing why the thing is blocking the door on the thing.
But wait, you forgot your coffee. Go back inside, set the important thing down, get your coffee and lock up.
I swear ADHD is like life in hard mode sometimes.
There was a meme I saw on Lemmy a while back that said undiagnosed ADHD is like having life set to hard mode but you and everybody else think you’re set to easy mode.
Getting a diagnosis and/or treatment doesn’t change the fact that you’re on hard mode, but at least you know what you need to tackle.
I bring a satchel with me when I leave the house. I leave it in the car 99% of the time, but it has my sunglasses, sanitizer, umbrella, etc. in it. So, it's helpful to bring along. I toss my keys in it and whatever the important thing is. If the important this is too big, I wrap the strap of the satchel around the thing or wind the strap around some part of it. I still forget things sometimes, but this has helped me significantly.
That'll be the one time I decide to use my front door instead of garage door on the morning lol
This is why I have magnets on my door. So if it's something like a form or an envelope to mail, I can stick it right over the doorknob
I always put my keys on anything I need to remember, since they're the last thing I grab before I head out, and I can't lock the door or start the car without them. If it's more of a concept, I write it on a post-it, then put the keys on that.
I'll never forget the day I went out to the grocery store a couple blocks down and thought it was a good idea to also take the trash out.
I took the trash to the grocery store.
well if it's any consolation, I just laughed for a solid minute straight. So it wasn't a total loss. I really appreciate that.
My husband (the adhd-ee) keeps leaving the trash at the top of the stairs. Because he'll "see it on his way out".
I have never done this before. Now that you've said it, it will happen to me and dozens of others who read this.
This is relatable. In my experience, the only way to prevent is to make it literally impossible to leave for the place without bonking into the thing. Like don't put the thing next to the door, put it in front of the door.
Just put it in your car. Worst case scenario you can get it from the car really quick if you forget.
For real. I have sometimes put important things on my jacket, and my jacket in front of the door. That works. And I still tend to pick up my jacket so the thing I was to remember falls to the floor because it somehow still doesn't occur to me that I put my jacket on the floor in order to remember something...
Gets to the door. "Ok, I remember there was something I HAVE to bring ... ... What was it again?"
Put thing in front of the door, not beside it. Make yourself have to move it away to move on without it.
Yesss, I feel so seen!
Don’t put the thing in an easy to remember spot, or an easy to find spot. Put it in an inevitable spot. It has to be physically impossible to leave without it.
Small items can go in front of the door, or put the keys with them, ideally clipped on with a carabiner. Large items have to either block the door, or go in the car ahead of time immediately when I think of it.
Combine this with a wife who is a pro at losing things, and if something is in her way she’ll move it to the nearest open flat surface with no time or reason.
I swear more than once I put a thing resting on the door so I would have to take it when leaving but I somehow moved it and left without...
Is this a case of everybody just saying that it's ADHD or nah? Because I don't think I have it but this is pretty familiar
Adhd-ers aren't living in alien bodies, we're all uniquely human. The problem with adhd is in the executive function of the brain. So we make certain human mistakes others (can) also make to the point where it becomes a disorder. In this case to all the things that have to do with executive functions. Looks different for everyone and there are many different expressions of the disorder.
So you can relate? Okay now imagine this happening everyday multiple times a day with things big and small. The other day I wanted to put lotion on my face so I put toothpaste on my gf toothbrush. It's harmless and small most of the time, but it's constant and you have to work hard to overcome it.
There are a lot of things ppl seem to ascribe to adhd that aren't (and also it often depends on the severity/frequency whether it's normal or not) but also symptoms for different mental afflictions often overlap and distinguishing between them can be hard. So it's very possible something is related to adhd, but someone experiences the same issue without having adhd.
I have no idea if this particular issue is related to adhd though, but doesn't seem unlikely.
Having a mnemonic helps me with routine everyday things, though one-time things require the “attach keys or block door” method.
What I have settled on for routine items is a numbered list. Nothing complicated to remember. Just which item is which number.
When I get ready to leave my house, or stand up to leave work, it goes like this counting in my head:
1, 2: work phone and personal phone in one pocket
3, 4: wallet and keys in the other pocket
5, 6: watch on my left wrist and water bottle in my right hand
[7, 8]: if necessary: wireless earbuds and backpack
Plus at work, I have a strict rule that I cannot put my keys anywhere but my pocket. My fob to get in the building is on my key chain, and after the second time I locked myself out I made the rule. If I do take my keys out of my pocket to clip/unclip something like a USB flash drive or nail clippers, the keys stay in my hand until they go back into the pocket.
"Thing thing thing remember to bring the thing" "I always forget things, but not this time because I'm thinking about thing" "I must have ADHD for always forgetting to bring things" "How do other people just remember things?" "There's a bunch about me that's different from other people, probably from my undiagnosed ADHD" "Like how I can't focus during conversations because my mind drifts" "And how I..."
2 minutes later
"I forgot the thing"
Another good tip is to try a positive reminder. So, instead of: "Don't forget the thing!" you'd rather tell your self: "I will totally take the thing!"
Doesn't work :( It still took me a week to finally bring that pack of biscuits I bought to my office.
I don't often personally identify with this comic, because I don't have ADHD, but I feel this one deeply.
I have found that putting things by the door doesn't work as well as putting them with things that you will never forget to take. For example, I don't wear shoes indoors, so I will put the thing I need to take inside my shoes. Or since I have a private garage, I can simply put it in my car ahead of time.
One thing I learned from Dr Drew from the Loveline days is to put your keys with that thing. He would put his keys with vaccines in the fridge to take with him when he left. So if you plan to drive when you go put your keys with the thing or the thing with your keys. I always thought about having a "take box" an box dedicated solely to holding the things you need to take somewhere.
Sounds like an easy way to lose the keys and forget the thing. Have to always have the keys in the pants or risk forgetting them… at least until the front door gets closed.
In the situation described, it sounds like he needed to bring along vaccines that would have to be refrigerated. I wouldn't normally use my keys to remember something, but if the only time I used them was when I put them in the refrigerator, it might theoretically be okay, except for the thing I mention in the next paragraph. Definitely less crazy than me putting my shoes in the fridge.
But the other thing is that I'm personally a bit paranoid about losing my keys, or having somebody take them, and can't ever leave my keys in a public area of the house. I might actually have to put my shoes in the fridge like a crazy person.
This is easy! I got this one. Use mnemonics.
Say you want to remember to take a particular bag with you when you leave. Close your eyes for 5 seconds and imagine something outrageous, surreal, balls out crazy. Only takes 5 seconds, but the crazier the image you make up the better.
For this one I might imagine my postman or UPS standing there when I open my door, with the bag covering his head. Or I might imagine that bag as a giant bag full of rabid weasels blocking the door.
You might not even see the image again, but you will remember the bag. Shit's like magic.
It's life changing. Unfortunately, how are you going to remember to remember?! I use mnemonics mainly when I don't want to leave the house without something, but it's worth practicing for any event. 5 seconds imagining something stupid is all I ask. Try it!
It's hilarious when you walk up to the door and think, "Oh yeah, you're going to camp, grab the .22 rifle mag.", and you have no idea how that happened. LOL, sometimes you don't see the pic, but somehow your brain does.
I don't use any long term memory tactics because if I'm doing it wrong, what I remember yesterday will blend with what I remember tomorrow, and if it's different, I'm in a world of hurt.
Assuming you're driving, I find putting my car keys with the thing works. Just be careful if you have a fob; sometimes they don't work as well after being in the fridge.
You know the video where one guys father put the fob into a small safe, and the guy lifted the safe into the car and the car started?
Thanks! Almost forgot to bring the thing.
Update: forgot the thing anyway, spouse reminded me before I left though lol
This is me 5 times a day when I go fill up my water bottle, I get an email, use the bathroom or do something else quickly and go back to my desk and 15 minutes later go to drink water and realize I left it upstairs by the fridge.
