Squeaky! rule

I so very badly want to replace a judge's gavel with one of those.

Go to horny jail. B O N K

Okay, but will you swing the squeaky hammer in a downwards arc to hit the top of a presumably horizontal head and/or shaft, or will you swing horizontally in order to strike the tip like you're driving a thick, fleshy nail into the owner's crotch?

I'm leaning towards the latter, personally.

sounds like something Sam would do.

You'd be a blast in Mexico and Latinamerica (you'd be called El Chapulín Colorado).